From: THE GUYS
Relationships are complicated dances of give and take, and compromise. We don’t mean compromising values, but more a willingness to budge, just a little, when the issue at hand is not really that important. Otherwise the music stops and the dance is over.
Here are some examples of budging from our point of view.
Us: Do we really have to go to this thing?
You: (Give us THE LOOK)
Us: Yes, we’d love to go to your best friend’s dog grooming party.
You: Honey, look at this. (You point to the newspaper.) There’s a great discussion on Wild Flowers happening on the Nature Walk trail this weekend.
Us: (We give YOU the LOOK)
You: (Ignore us) And?
Us: (Pause to see if you’ll cave in….you don’t…..) Sure, that sounds great. We’ll just take an extra Sudafed for our allergies.
You: I’ve got nothing to wear.
Us: What about all the clothes in your closet?
You: Those are all old and out of style. And they don’t fit. And they don’t look good anymore. And I don’t like them. And I want some new clothes.
You: Will you come shopping with me? I need help.
Us: (Grinding our teeth quietly) Sure. Fine. Maybe we can go to the mall and eat at the Food Court?
You: The mall? Are you kiddin? I don’t want to go to the mall. Let’s go downtown.
Us: But aren’t those shops way more expensive?
You: So? What are you trying to say?
Us: Um, nothing……sounds great.
Us: (Thinking) Great, we can forget about the 72″ Flat screen.
But we also know the women in our lives compromise for us too. This is what we think you pretend to like. Or at least tolerate for us.
Going to our company BBQ.
Watching us come in last place in the Elks Lodge Bowling Tournament every year, while being stuck talking with “Marty,” the friendly host who smells like Cigars and Sardines.
Playing video games with us. Watching football. Going camping.
These examples are all mentioned in fun, but actually compromising CAN lead to new experiences and new knowledge. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to know about which Wild Flowers are edible and which aren’t. It might come in handy if we ever accompany Bear Grylls on a segment of “Man vs. Wild.” And knowing how to groom a Poodle might save us some serious money if we ever actually own a dog. But most importantly, compromise can lead to a better understanding of the other person, which leads to good will, and ultimately a stronger bond.
However we do have one slight problem. Although we understand compromise is important, we’re still not sure about the dance part. Although we’d secretly like to get better.
So when you bring up taking a dance class together, we “slow play” it, hoping if we pretend to not be that interested, we can get you to join the couples poker night we’ve been begging you to…….WOW!….Our bluff works! You agree. We’re now feeling a bit overconfident. So we try to get one more raise from you.
Us: (Sweetly) Do think we can we get that flat screen TV now?
You: Don’t push it buddy!
No, you’re no fool. And that’s the real reason why we love you!
What do you compromise for your partner? Why?
What do you think they compromise for you?