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Tooth Fairies and Proms

Here are some recent questions and inquiries for THE GUYS. Two are actual questions and two were searches. We felt they were pretty straightforward so we decided to put them all in one post.

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Question 1:

If a guy talks to you on and off, going through little stages such as talks to you a whole bunch, smiles at you, tells you he thinks you’re cute. Then suddenly he stops talking to you, stops smiling at you, then all together stops talking to you, and then ignores you, then goes for my friend, what in the hell does this even mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys: Unfortunately this means this guy is a scoundrel. Of course you don’t say how old he is, so it could just be that he’s young and confused. A young guy is like a squirrel that comes across a yard full of nuts and flits around from one to the other, not knowing which to store first. It’s baffling to us too, and we’re Guys. So our best advice to you is move on, don’t be discouraged, and find yourself some wholesome nerd who will treat you right.

Question 2:

How big is the tooth fairy?

Guys: In our best estimation the tooth fairy is small enough to covertly sneak into houses, but strong enough to carry a whole lot of money around. Of course these days with the value of the dollar plummeting, money isn’t that heavy, so the tooth fairy truly could be a tiny little thing. The best thing to do is keep your eyes closed and sleep. From what we little we know on the subject, the tooth fairy won’t come if you’re awake. So ask yourselves this question. Would you rather be knowledgeable or rich?

Question 3:

My date sniffed me. Why?

Guys: Sniffed you where? And was it audible? Look, what’s wrong with a good sniff? That means he’s way into you. You might have an issue if he comes in the bathroom while you’re reading a magazine and takes a huge sniff and says, “That made my day.” (Although that might not even be a deal breaker. And do females even do that?) Guys do the “darndest” things. We’d say, enjoy the attention.

Question 4:

What if a guy asked me to slow dance at the prom?

Guys: Is this your date? We’re assuming that it is. What we think you’re asking is, “What can I expect during a slow dance at the prom?” If this is the case, you can expect exactly what you’re worried about; a slow moving tubular object that hardens as it creeps up your leg. Sorry, not much else to say. Don’t be too frightened, it’s pretty normal.

If you have questions for the guys, leave us a note on the “Ask the Guys” page. And check out the archives on that same page for previous questions and/or topics we’ve addressed. And yes, we do answer serious questions too.

We also answer questions on our Podcast.

20 Comments on Tooth Fairies and Proms

  1. HA….and jeesh…do people really ask these questions?

    As far as someone breathing in another person essence…that would be me in a nutshell…I love a guy that just smells good. That for me is a deal breaker for sure…if I do not like how he smells initially…no way can the relationship go anywhere but out the door and fast.

    I love your analogy of young guys and squirrels…so well said~

    The tooth fairy…I mean…is there nothing else in the world that might cause someone to pause and ask why?

    If a guy asks to slow dance at a Prom… chances are he likes what he sees and if you have to worry about it…stay at home or cover up the curves 🙂

    Awesome coffee read….thanks Guys~

  2. Love the squirrel analogy. So true.

    As for the slow dance question, that’s kind of sweet. I didn’t know there were girls still that naive.

  3. I really hope the tooth fairy question wasn’t by some dude hoping to spy her and decide if she is worthy of his nut storage center.

    LOL! Those questions cracked me up.

  4. You know for question 1 I always wondered why guys did that. Do you think when a guy seems really into you and you feel there is something there, then he finds out you are tied to someone else that would make him stop? Would that also make him totally ignore you? Just wondering.

    For question 2 I always thought the Tooth Fairy was invisible to humans. I once wrote a story called “The Hair Fairy” for some girls who had lost their hair during chemotherapy. My fairy was tiny and invisible with a hair vacuum and bags for hair. Let me know if you want to read it:)

    I agree with nothingprofound! Or maybe this girl doesn’t have anyone else to ask.:) I loved your answer:) I had to learn that by actually slow dancing with a number of guys:)

    By the way pretty smooth transition to the new format. I didn’t have any problems. Just would like to get to the blog from the broadcast link immediately. Though I liked learning more about you:)

  5. @D……………Yes they do. Smell is very important. We think it’s the most underrated of the senses. And yes, a slow dance at prom is just part of that evening.

    @Nothingprofound……….Not many, that’s for sure. At least not these days.

    @Angelia……….The tooth fairy was a search engine question. Are people for real?

    @Barbara……yes, still working on the Feeds, etc. The slow dance at prom is an education and a surprise for every young woman who experiences it.

  6. I’m with nothingprofound, I love the squirrel analogy!
    Will you tell which was which? I’m guessing #1 & #3 were questions. #2 & #4 were searches.

  7. Hey, hey, what do we have here? A new layout, I see. Nice job.

    “Question 1: what in the hell does this even mean” – Maybe the guy doesn’t like the way you smell.

    “Question 2: Would you rather be knowledgeable or rich?” – haha.

    “Question 3: Guys do the “darndest” things. We’d say, enjoy the attention.” – Yeah, I like sniffing women myself. What’s wrong with that? The better they smell, the more I sniff and turn into an alpha male dog.

    “Question 4: a slow moving tubular object that hardens as it creeps up your leg.” – Are you talking about a caterpillar changing into a chrysalis?

  8. As usual you guys have a unique way of expressing questions and answers…thus congratulations on the new site may your sales and traffic we the best…more then you anticipate…projections off the map…

    and don’t forget to have fun while your doing it..

    Dorothy from grammology
    grammology.com

  9. Enter your comments here…
    To my favorite guys! As always your stories delight. I laughed out loud at your musings. I loved the questions, and of course the answers even better.
    p.s. I was told the tooth fairy was 2 inches tall, and I always thought what a heavy load it must have been to cart in a quarter and take away that molar.
    p.p.s. I always whiff the guys. It’s one of the most important things to check to see if we’re compatible.
    Bravo again!
    I posted today too. It’s been difficult posting as much as I’d like. Thank you for always checking in with me!
    Cathy

  10. What the fuuuuck GUYS?

    Are there questions from the First Edition of the Middle School Chronicles???

    1. He calls you cute? Calls. Quits calling. Goes after your friend?

    If you are 14 or older YOU ARE A STUPID BITCH. Enough said

    2. Uuuum, okay.I thought Dwayne ‘The ROCK’ Johnson was the Tooth Fairy??? What the fuck???? You mean mean to tell me ‘The Rock’ isn’t the Tooth Fairy?

    3. If you sniff this Brunette you’ll be picking your ass up off the ground. I am not a goddamn dog. DO NOT SNIFF ME.

    I’ll never understand why people wont just SAY these things. If he sniffs you and you don’t like it or think he might be an extra from ‘Clockwork Orange’ then grow a pair of nuts and fucking SAY something!

    4. What is the question here?

    You say YES if you want to, NO if you don’t. If this is too difficult you can also nod your head (which means bob up and down) If you do it wrong it MAY be taken as doing something else, so be careful when trying this at home. You may also want to try SHAKING your head from side to side (for no). NOT too hard though, I would hate for you to lose whatever fucking brains you have left in your head.

    What the fuck?

  11. well, since you answered my question with a question, i’ll answer yours: i’d rather be rich.

    i also like the squirrel analogy.

  12. @Ryhen……Thanks. Caterpillar…..that too.

    @GoGo…….Pretty perceptive.

    @Dorothy……Thanks for your positive energy and thoughts.

  13. @Pattypunker………Not a bad choice.

    @Ash…….Pretty much. Not sure what that says about us. Luckily we just got a few new questions with a little more substance to them.

    @Cathy…….We’ll be checking it out soon. Nice to have you stop by.

  14. I am totally laughing at Ash’s comment!

  15. @meleah…….she’s a card alright.

  16. I feel bad for the chick asking about the slow dance. And turning a guy on during a slow dance isn’t nearly as amazing as when it’s a fast dance you grind to. Then you know you’re gooooood.

  17. @Cassie…………I guess both are good. Or bad, depending how you look at it.

  18. I like what you said, regarding the sniffing question. “Sniff you where?” I once had a girl who enjoyed sniffing my hair when we went out. My first reaction was, “What the fuck?” Unfortunately, I said that out loud. she was just as confused as I was, but by MY REACTION. I also don’t care for the ol’ blowing in or around my ear thing, either. It doesn’t give me wood… just an earache.

  19. @Kelly……….ear blowing is overrated for sure!

  20. Hey guys! I need help! Me and my boyfriend have the worst fights ever! It’s always over the way he speaks to me. I can’t take the tone and additued that he uses. And when I tell him it’s there 95% of the time he gets mad at me and freaks out. From there it just get bad, he starts sayin rude and childish things like ” you can stop flappin your gums I ain’t listen” , puttin his fingers in his ears and sayin he ain’t Listin. To pinchin his tv and brakin it and tellin me where to go how to get there and ignorin me. He always walks away well I’m tryin to talk it out with him. Well I had told him that I was fed up and if this doesn’t change we will be over. He started to pack up his stuff like he does alot of the times when we fight. And about 5 mins later came back in the room cry askin why he always does this. He told me that he will change and that he will stop bein ignorant. Well our fight yesterday he did all the same things and when he finally got to the point where we could talk I asked him if he even remembered what he said he would do next time we got into a fight. He said that he didn’t. Now he does have a bad memory and if I don’t keep on him like his mother he would forget 75% of what he needs to do. But my question is if this has always happened and if he can’t remember what he said he would do to stop bein this way. Will he be able to change! I even told him that he can’t be doin it for me that he needs to want to change and that he needs to do it for himself and he said he did. Please help. I need to know if it’s worth all the fightin or if its just always goin to be the same. Cause it’s sure not fair to me to be disrespected so much by the one that says he loves me
    Thank you
    Layla

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