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What body type do guys like?

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Hi Guys,

I have a question.

I have a pretty flat butt, medium thighs, a chubby stomach, BUT I have large boobs. Is this attractive for guys? I know plenty of girls who have skinny thighs, flat stomach, flat ass, and flat chest but this one girl I know has what I think is the perfect body that I’m very envious of. I know a lot of this is personal preference but how many guys prefer a kind of chubby big-boobed girl over a flat stomach girl with medium boobs and butt? I just feel like a lot of guys wouldn’t like my body and would be interested to hear your opinion on it.

Thanks!

Name Withheld

Dear NW,

What we find most attractive is when a woman—and this is true for men too—rocks whatever body she has, and rocks it confidently. That’s the key. If your body is as you describe, then own it and try to feel good about it. That’s not to say that we all can’t work to be in the best shape we can be. Eating healthy and exercising regularly should be incorporated into your life. That said, no two people look the same, and how you look when you’re in the best shape is not going to be how your friend looks or your c0-worker looks, or whoever. You understand our point we hope.

Now to your question.

Guys come in all shapes and sizes, which also means guys are attracted to all shapes and sizes. Is there an agreed upon “perfect” body type? Not really. Sure, there are famous women in the world that most men might agree are pretty hot, but in general, guys’ opinions are as varied as there are guys. Yes, we’d be lying to you if we didn’t tell you that it all starts with looks. Guys are very visual. If we like what we see, we’ll pursue it. Some men like big chests, others like small. Some men like long legs, others like more muscular legs. And so it goes.

However, it’s not all physical. We’ll get back to our original point. Confidence is key. But so is your personality, your intelligence, your humor, the way you carry yourself in the world. All that factors into how a guy sees you. And more importantly, how you see yourself.

Our advice to you is: You can only control what you can control. You take care of yourself. Be healthy. Buy clothes that fit your body type. Embrace who you are. And we’re sure there will be plenty of guys pursuing you when the time is right.

Let us know if you have any follow-up questions. (Leave in the comments below.)

Take care,

THE GUYS

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21 Comments on What body type do guys like?

  1. My husband of 17 years left me two months ago. He began to cheat with a woman he had just known a month prior, he moved into our family camper with her. I believe there may be some drug use and excessive partying involved. I have filed for seperation because he says he is no longer in love with me.My heart is crushed we have been together since I was just 18 and I have truly and deeply am in love with him. Is there any hope in this mess he has made of our lives? Should I move forward without him and accept this new life? We have two beautiful children whom are now teenagers, they are angry and hurt. My heart wants him back I thought we were happy, he said he was not.

  2. @Judy….We are so, so sorry. It’s hard to say what might happen since it’s only been three months. (Even if it feels like an eternity to you.) Have you talked to him? Is he willing to talk about things? Are you? Would you be able to forgive him?

  3. I have already forgiven him. The hardest part for me is the pain my children are in. Also the anger he is expressing toward me.

  4. @Judy…..We are sorry. The teen years are difficult enough, but to inject this sort of uncertainty and stress into their lives is even harder. And that’s what we see here….how selfish he’s being AND the way he’s doing it. We can’t speak to the state of your relationship, but the fact that he’s taken up with another woman and using your family camper to do it, is just not okay on any level. Honestly, if he won’t talk to you, or won’t see a counselor, then you need to do what you’re doing. Focus on your children. And move forward with your life. Do we think he’s going to end up with this woman? No. That’s doubtful. The woman was his exit strategy. He felt he needed to extract himself and he’s using her to do it. But if he does come back, or wants to reconcile, it will have to be on his terms and it’s hard to say if/when that will be. He’s going to need to have an epiphany for that to happen. And since we don’t know him, it’s hard for us to comment about that.

  5. Many people now have told me he is using drugs.More importantly they have told me he wasn’t happy. The one person he should have told was me but he never bothered. He has never really been good at communication. I think his anger towards stems from me choosing to stay in our home rather than move out and give it to him. This could have gone so differently if he had done the one thing he has never done talk to me. He has lied so much at this point it is hard to even know what the truth is. All I have ever done is love a man who for far too long didn’t love me back. I have held on too tightly because I loved him so. I have let him go now, that is what he wants. I don’t understand why though he has made a train wreck of my life and his children’s yet he thinks he has a right to blame me.

  6. @Judy……Well, if he is using drugs, it’s likely he’s not thinking clearly. Do you think you’d be able to take him back after all the lies and his lack of communication? It’s important for you to consider what you might do. We are sorry. But we’re glad you’re strong enough to give your kids the extra attention they need at the moment, and for the future.

  7. The only thing I know for sure at this point is that I want to coparent in peace and help our children heal. I carry my grief in silence now. He is gone and there isn’t anything I can do about it.

  8. @Judy…..We understand. You take care of yourself. Visit anytime you’d like to ask a question or talk.

  9. I have been married for 13 yrs. Two years into our marriage my husband started looking at porn 1 yr later he cheated with 6 women. He asked for forgiveness and I gave it 10 yrs later he still looks at porn 2-3 times a weeks. Always apologizing for it. I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want my children growing up without a dad. He is a great guy other then this 1 thing.

  10. @Jo…..Okay, porn is one thing, cheating is quite another. Our stance on porn is this. As long as it doesn’t take away from the relationship it’s not the worst thing in the world. We’re not endorsing its usage, just saying that it happens. The issue is, that it’s like an addiction, and in order to get the “high” a guy might keep needing to up the ante. That said, taking it off the computer screen and into the real world is not okay. Question: Does he still want to have sex with you? Or is the porn affecting his interest? Do you believe he’s now faithful to you, other than the porn? Do you trust him? (Sounds like you’re not sure.)

  11. Hi guys. To me jacking off to porn is cheating as well as being with the physical girl. But that being said he does still want to have sex but it’s different. I can’t seem to get over the hurt of the constant porn usage it’s gotten so bad he’s doing it while driving. I have kids I don’t want to end up a widow. And I know for a fact if he were to catch me Looking at porn he would flip. What do I do to make him stop I do t want to divorce him but I can’t handle the porn. I’ll never be able to compete with that.

  12. @Jo……It doesn’t matter our view, what matters is how you see it and feel about it. And now that you give us a little more detail, it’s obvious his usage is out of control. For us, this is an issue of respect or lack of respect. His cheating and porn usage have left a deep wound on your relationship. And the fact that he continues to do it, even while driving, is rubbing salt in the wound. Clearly, he doesn’t realize that he’s lost all perspective on what’s important. What’s happened is he’s living in his fantasy world, rather than in the real world. But you know all this. So how do you change it? The most direct step is to seek professional help. For him. For you as a couple. But here’s the thing. He has to see that he’s got a problem. If he doesn’t believe he does, he won’t be open to it and it won’t help. Question: Would HE admit he has a problem? And: He must feel dissatisfied in some way. With himself. With the relationship. Something. What do you believe that is?

  13. Yes! He is always apologizing and saying he hates himself because of it. We have reached out to two people plus one close friend to try to get him to stop but he still does it. Am I being stupid for still loving him enough to stay ? We have sex at least once a day sometimes we’ll go a few days without but not normally . I am adventurous and am willing to try new things but that doesn’t seem to be enough. He does it at work or when I’m not around.

  14. @Jo…..It’s not about being stupid or not stupid. Obviously you love him and want to keep him in your life. This is more about what you’re able to stomach. If he’s not willing to do some serious work/therapy to address the issue then it sounds like it’s not going to change. (We still think he needs to work with a professional for some time.) The question is: Are you willing to look the other way if it doesn’t go beyond porn? And only you can answer that. If it bothers you this much, that feeling is only going to get more intense if it continues. Thoughts?

  15. I agree. Sadly I’m trying to learn to live with it but I feel it killing me. Why does he constantly want other women?

  16. @Jo…..Like we said, maybe it doesn’t feel this way to you, but fantasizing while watching pornography is not about wanting other women. Meaning, he might be turned on, but he’s not wishing he had a relationship with these fantasy women. Or rather, he doesn’t want to leave you for them. That’s why we initially tried to make the distinction between looking at porn and cheating in the real world. We are sorry Jo.

  17. @Jo…..Question: What do your friends say about it? What do they advise you to do? And what about any family members? What do they say?

  18. You know I’ve tried thinking it’s not cheating just to keep my sanity but I just can’t everytime he thinks a girl that’s not me is pretty enough to jackoff too it sends knives. My friends tell me to leave cause if I don’t respect myself why should he. But I grew up without a father and I will not see my kids go through the same thing. If he was hurting us that would be different but he’s not not physically anyway. Some say just stick it out as well.

  19. @Jo……Just to be clear. We’re not condoning his behavior in any way. The fact that he knows how much it hurts you but still can’t change his behavior says he either doesn’t care—we think he does actually—or he can’t stop himself. (Which means he needs to work on this with a professional) As per your view. Everyone has a personal view about this type of situation. Some women can separate, some can’t. And men are no different. Is it possible he needs a wake up call? Like seeing what it feels like if you behaved similarly? (We’re just asking the question, NOT necessarily encouraging you to do it.) What do you think?

  20. He is joining some online counseling thing for adicts maybe it will help. I’ve left before for a month don’t know if it did anything or not. Just wish none of the porn industry existed. Not really anything to do about it 🙁 I had coffee with a friend that was a boy one time and he freaked so I’m not sure if it would help or not.

  21. @Jo…..If you’re not planning on leaving, or holding his feet to the fire, then all you can do is keep reminding him how much this hurts you. And then do your best to support him as he seeks counseling. Have you ever asked him directly why he does this?…..You know, when a person seeks this much distraction in their life, it’s often because they’re dissatisfied with how things are going in the real world? Have you asked him what he feels is missing from his life? Clearly, he’s using this fantasy world to numb himself. But as you know, it’s an endless cycle. So the answer lies with him.

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