Why won’t he sleep with me?

Hi Guys!

I recently met this guy at a Halloween party. I was drunk; we kissed and exchanged numbers. The next day I found out he is 30 and I am 22. It didn’t bother me because I have a thing for older men. We’ve gone out on four dates already. During the dates I’ve tried to make a move and hook up but he always seems to push me away. Now here is the question. Why won’t he sleep with me? I just don’t understand why he won’t because we’ve met at a party all drunk. Is it because the age difference? Or because he actually wants to take me seriously?


Dear Sammy,

Wow, this is a nice change. We’re so used to the opposite question. “He only wants to hook up. How can I get him interested in a relationship?”

Question for you: What do you want Sammy? Do you want to be in a relationship with this guy? If so, why are you in such a rush to hook up with him?

It sounds as if you’ve found yourself a nice guy, who genuinely likes you and respects you, and is trying to do things the old-fashioned way. Of course, we don’t know his intentions, but these days, four dates without trying to hook up is pretty unusual, and honestly, quite refreshing.

Our advice is for you to chill. It almost seems like you’re worried that if you don’t sleep with him, you’ll lose his interest. To that we say, stop. Respect yourself, and take yourself more seriously. He certainly seems to be. Be happy that he’s not after you for one thing, and one thing only, and just let this unfold slowly. Stop trying to rush things along.

Sorry to be so blunt, but sometimes tough love is in order. Hope you know we’re just trying to be honest and supportive.

Let us know if you have any follow-up questions. (Leave in comments section below.) We’d also suggest checking out some of our e-reports, based on the seven most frequently asked questions on our site. You might pick up some useful information about guys.

Take care,


ps. Please let your friends know about us. Thanks!




2 Comments on Why won’t he sleep with me?

  1. Hi guys! thanks for the advice and you are right! To be honest I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I guess I was rushing things because usually when you meet a person at a club or party they just want one thing. Also, just the fact that he is 8 years older than me just assume he wanted that. But he is a really nice guy. To be honest he is the most respectfully guy I’ve meet. But in the end you are right i need to respect myself and just go with the flow.

  2. @Veee….Sammy……Glad we could provide some perspective. Maybe this will evolve into something more. Either way, keep us posted. (You can just leave a comment here on this post. We’ll see it) Good luck and have fun. Come back and visit us anytime. Lots of new articles up all the time.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

Maximum comment length is 1500 characters.