Relationship and Dating Advice from The Guy’s Perspective: Online Dating Part 1- How to create a successful online dating profile

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Also watch Online Dating Part 2 and Part 3

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Script of Video:

Online dating began long before computers. It began at a time when the printed word ruled the media landscape, where a cloud meant rain and the net was a tool used to catch things. But back then online dating was called: The Personal Ads.

The personals were mostly found in an isolated back section of the newspaper clearly demarcated from the paper’s more journalistic endeavors. The personals WERE used by a few brave souls, but were mostly fodder for humorous discussion with friends at a bar, wondering aloud who these brave souls were, and why they were desperate enough to respond to a personal ad, or even worse, post one themselves.

However, the concept of the personal ad was solid, and with the advent of the net, Online Dating was created to replace the awkward experience of the personals. Today Online dating is universally accepted, used by millions of people worldwide, all hoping to find what they are looking for: Some sort of connection. However, not everyone has a successful experience with online dating.

Some blame surely belongs to the actual institution. And there will always be stalkers and predators manipulating and taking advantage of the system for their own gains. But part of the problem clearly lies with the normal every day user.

Too many people quickly throw together a profile that doesn’t help their cause. The pictures aren’t flattering, the description is flat, and the whole composite is poorly constructed. The key is to differentiate yourself. This is your dating resume. This is your one chance to pique someone’s interest. You gotta really go for it!

Here are some tips to help you set up a profile that will attract those paramours you so desire.

Step 1: It’s all about the photo. And by photo we mean just you. Not you with your dog, or pet gerbil, or even your kids. Your profile picture needs to give people a sense of you. For the guys out there, it’s not a bad idea to shave and put on a clean shirt. No hats, and definitely not sunglasses. For the ladies, find a picture that represents you in a flattering light. Sexy is okay, but even better, something demure that suggests that what’s underneath is sexy. And please be honest! Don’t put up a photo of you twenty years ago. Remember, the goal is to move beyond the screen to an actual Face-to-Face. At some point you will meet this other person. And if you look different from your online picture that clearly sends a message that you can’t be trusted. Not a great start.

One final note: Make sure the picture is actually you. 

Step 2: Write a fun, unique description. This is very difficult for most people. It’s hard to say great things about yourself without sounding conceited. But this is the second most important piece of the profile.

Here are some tips for writing a great description: 

Stay Positive- Don’t say all things you don’t want about a person. Describe what you DO want in a partner. (Check out our videos on How to write a great profile. Part 2 and Part 3 of our Online Dating series.)

Create a Personality- Be you. Be unique. We want to know about you specifically. Don’t make it generic.

Make it fun- No one wants to date a stiff.

Be inviting- This means, just make it easy for someone to want to contact you. Don’t scare them away!

Make it Short -Be as economical as you can. We want to know about you quickly. If we like what we read we’ll want the longer version later!

Don’t give more info than is needed. If you don’t really care about religion or politics, then don’t list your religion or political party. Remember, it’s all about being inviting, so why limit your potential suitors?

Check out Part 2 and 3 of our online dating series. Coming this week!


6 Comments on Relationship and Dating Advice from The Guy’s Perspective: Online Dating Part 1- How to create a successful online dating profile

  1. Hello, first timer here. So, here goes – met a guy online, things were casual at first…mainly because of a secret he was withholding. After a few weeks of him ducking me he came clean that he had a son. After I told him I was fine with that he became more open with me, we continued to see each other for a few more weeks til he told me he was introducing me to his son. The meeting went well, his son (3 years old) adored me, so that was that. I met 2 of his brothers and just recently his dog who hated everyone but ended up loving me after he left me at his apt with her to walk (much to his surprise cause she only lets him pet her). Recently he’s been in the hospital for back issues and he had fainted at work due to him working nonstop on top of his brother leaving for the service in a few months (his bro’s his roommate as well so he’s stressing about how to pay that when the time comes). He doesn’t know I found out his facebook…and that I know he has a daughter, who he had at 18, and he doesn’t know that I know he has an online profile…which has his phone number on it. I didn’t get too mad because he had it before he met me BUT…I’m bothered by the fact that his phone number is on there (to me that’s just crazy irresponsible – I have thought about getting some gay friends set up google numbers to start texting him so he could get a hint to at least take the number down lol). We never had “the talk” as we’re 3 months into seeing each other, we’re not rushing but I guess I’m a little confused as to what’s going on. I know there might be some issues with his daughter, maybe involving child support and from what I’ve read he’s just now having contact with her after some years. I’m not mad that he has a daughter, I just wonder when he’s going to tell me about her, like he did his son. I tell myself to continue dating for a few more months, view where we’re at and if I feel that I want to continue into something serious, ask him about it. I know he’s into me but because he’s younger than me (25, I’m 31) he’s still a little on the immature side and he’s not used to communicating his emotions on top of him having a lot on his plate – work 7 days a week, a son, his brother moving/bills and his health. Just want to know from a man’s perspective, how should I approach well…mainly the profile issue? Should I bring up his daughter, also it would help to know that I asked about the name on his arm, he told me it was his grandmother…3 days later on his fb the same name was mentioned with a pic but it was his daughter. Thanks!

  2. @Nicky…..Well, it would be nice to know the reason he’s hiding this information from you. If he told you about his son, then why not tell you about his daughter? That doesn’t make sense to us, but there’s probably an explanation. As far as the online profile, the question we have is: How did you find out about it? That would determine how to proceed. And how did you find out about his daughter, the Facebook account, etc. Fill us in and we’ll weigh in on the rest. Thanks.

  3. I found his facebook and the online profile through google (and searching his username on FB – he talked about his daughter on his FB). I ended a relationship last year after discovering the guy was married, when I found out thru his facebook so I became suspicious during the beginning of our relationship because he started avoiding me so I assumed he was married but it was his son and his fear of me possibly being angry/hurt over knowing he had a son. He mentioned his daughter on his fb, that’s how I found out about her (about why he hasn’t told me, from comments about her on his fb he doesn’t get to see her, don’t know if it was by his choice or the mother’s but I can’t assume anything). Thanks for the advice so far 🙂

  4. @Nicky,…..Well, we don’t know how you’re going to mention his daughter, since he didn’t add you as a friend on Facebook, and that’s where you learned about her. As far as his online profile, well technically the two of you aren’t an exclusive item, so there’s not much you can say there. (Although we do agree that it probably isn’t the best idea to have his phone number up there.) However, maybe it’s time the two of you did have “the talk” or at least the beginnings of “the talk.” There’s a lot to discuss certainly and all the topics seem part of a more general discussion about your relationship: what it is, and where’s it going? Yes, he’s got a lot on his plate, but three months is enough time for him to know how he feels about you, and whether or not he’s willing and able to make room for you in his busy and chaotic life. If he freaks out, then it’s likely that a relationship with him is going to continue to be frustrating. Hiding such a huge part of his life is a red-flag. He should be proud to share his life with you—children, etc.— even if the circumstances are painful. Maybe this is his age, and lack of experience, or maturity, but it also shows he’s insecure, at least around you. Maybe you can help put him at ease to get the conversation started. Tell him that you care about him and accept him no matter how complicated things are. And then see if he opens up a little more. Remember, there are no guarantees it will work out, but in our minds, it’s better than worrying about what’s going on. What do you think? You’ve got to follow your gut on this though. We can only offer an opinion. Feel free to ask as many follow up questions as you’d like. keep us posted as this progresses. And please let your friends know about us. Maybe on Facebook? (Speaking of Facebook) Thanks!

  5. Hey thanks!! I forgot to add the the daughter popped up in a google search, I found the mother’s yahoo profile and she was discussing the fact she had a daughter who was half Asian and the name is distinct, only 3 results came up. I figure this may be my way of getting it out because it needs to be dealt with. I’ll give it some more thought how it will may go down.

  6. @Nicky…..Okay. Good luck and keep us posted. Let us know if we can help in the future. ps. And please share our site with friends, etc. We appreciate it!

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