I’m 4’11” and I’m 16; I feel like I can’t be beautiful.
Because of my height, I can’t dress the way I want to, because I’ll always look like a little girl trying to look older. I want to be able to wear red lipstick, and wear pretty dresses, and makeup without always looking like I’m younger than I am. I doubt I’ll grow anymore and it really sucks.
What do you think I should do?
We understand that you’re at an age where all the girls are “experimenting” with fashion and their looks. Sure, girls want to look and feel attractive, so they put on lots of make up and wear revealing clothes to try and look older and more seductive. And to a degree it works. Guys certainly notice girls who look this way, but not necessarily for the best of reasons.
However, our answer is not going to turn into a lecture Sarah. We know you understand that inner beauty is most important, and that you are so much more than just your physical looks and dimensions. We’re sure you’ve been told all of that before. And while we agree with that sentiment, we also understand that you really want some answers to what’s bothering you.
Let’s say a guy is shorter than average, maybe three inches shorter than an average guy. Even though it shouldn’t matter we know it does, because most women want a man who is taller than them for a variety of reasons. So what happens is—and certainly not in every case—a shorter guy’s options can be limited. Of course this can be made up in a variety of ways. He’s smart, charming, rich, athletic, etc. But for the normal every day guy it’s tough being short in the competitive dating world.
But for a women it’s typically not an issue at all. And 4’11” is considered petite, which is totally in the realm of average. And frankly, most guys don’t even care really, especially as they get a little older. Sarah, please don’t determine your beauty by the lens of a teenage boy. Teenage boys basically go for flirtatious girls with big boobs. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But what we’re saying is their scope is very limited. Whereas guys who are a little bit older—college and into their twenties and beyond—have a much broader palette when it comes to whom they’re attracted to.
Your Youthful Appearance:
At 16, you may have matured on some levels, but you’re hardly fully matured even if you’ve stopped growing vertically. Trust us, when you head off to college in a few years—if you choose that path—your appearance will already have changed. And it only continues. The difference between the way a person looks at 16 and say 25 is usually quite striking. You’ll be surprised. (Hopefully in a good way!)
Also, it sounds like you’re one of the lucky people who looks younger than his/her age. Maybe it’s annoying to you now because people think you’re 13 when you’re really 16. But when you’re 30 and people think you’re 23 you might like it. And we can guarantee at 40, when people think you’re in your early 30s, you’ll love it. And so on.
Sarah, we think you should focus on being 16 and figuring out who you are and who you want to be. Sure, experiment all you want, but try not to worry so much. What’s happening now in your life doesn’t necessarily determine how the rest of your life is going to be.
Our one piece of advice: Once you start to truly accept the way you look, you’ll immediately become more attractive to everyone around you. People are always drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin.
Here’s another post to read about guys and what they look for in a girl/woman: Do looks matter?
Let us know if we can answer any other questions you might have now, or in the future. And please let your friends know about us. Leave us a follow up comment/question here in the comments section. We’ll respond here as well.
And try to have some fun Sarah!
ps. Readers, please leave Sarah a comment. We’re sure she would love some more feedback. Thanks!
Questions about the Prom: (If you have a question about your upcoming prom, ask away.)