Okay I am sure you have been asked this before. I am a seven years divorced mum of 3. I work and have a couple of social hobbies. I am quite good looking so I’ve been told. Yet not once in seven yrs have I been asked out. I tried the dating sites recently, met a few gents for coffee, and one stood out. So for a couple of months we got on really well. But then I found out he was still meeting others on the site and had been all along.
Do I need to wear a sign saying I am available and want an honest, trustworthy gent. They must be out there!
What am I doing wrong?
Thanks for your question.
We imagine that some of your difficulty stems from being a good mom. Probably a lot of your time—when you’re not working—you are helping your kids with homework, carting them around to their various activities, and generally spending quality time with them. And you probably don’t have a lot of time to go out socially. But in your case, you’re going to need to make an extra effort to get yourself out there.
We don’t think you’re doing anything wrong per se. Dating sites are a good way to meet people, especially for the busy, working person who has a lot of responsibilities. So we would suggest keeping your profile up to date. (Check out our videos on how to write a great profile on our Video Page) If you’ve already met one interesting person—although it’s unfortunate that he was untruthful—it’s likely you’ll meet someone else. (Hopefully this time a bit more open and honest.)
Tracy, you just need to get yourself out there. Say YES. Meaning, if you get asked to do things by your friends, just go, even if you’re tired. (And if you can get a babysitter.) Say yes to parties when you can, social events, parent meetings, whatever. It just sounds like you’re not meeting enough people. If you’re as cute as people say you are, you’ll attract attention just be getting yourself out there.
We realize full well how difficult it is to juggle being a single parent and an active social life, but let’s think of your situation from a business standpoint. Let’s say you were unemployed. What would you do? You’d update your resume, get yourself out there on LinkedIn, etc. and you’d start to network with people. You’d let friends know your were looking for a job, and you’d meet as many people as you possibly can. (Now don’t roll your eyes!) Dating is more similar than you might imagine. You have to put the word out there and let the network do some work for you.
Finally, guys WILL date single moms, but it’s a little more complicated sometimes. Some guys will be open to dating a woman with kids but they won’t be looking for a commitment. So it’s up to you to figure out who is for real and who isn’t. Check out some of our other posts on dating single moms for some more tips.
ps. Let your friends know about us. Thanks!