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TGP Episode 5: Curse of the Nice Guy…and more!

The Rundown:

Pet Peeves: Babies at the movies. Cell phones.

Ask the Guys: Is technology making us dumber?

Father Stories: Our friend Lovy reflects on her father.

Stream of Consciousness: Summer, Computers, and Guinea Pigs

The Meat: Curse of the Nice Guy

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3 Comments on TGP Episode 5: Curse of the Nice Guy…and more!

  1. Thank you for reading the story about my dad. Means a lot. 🙂

    I nominate Crazy Brunette for your Reality Chick. She’d be fuckin’ great for that!

  2. I need to find some time to tune into your podcast! I hateeeeee crying babies at the movies, but I think worse are screaming/giggling teenage girls! At least with babies you know it’s not really their fault. 😉

  3. Self Proclaimed Nice Guy // January 7, 2012 at 8:26 am //

    I think there’s an element of what you mentioned: that women like a ‘charity’ case. The reforming thing seem’s to be a common theme. Women like the idea of taking someone dysfuctionl and ‘fixing’ them. It gives them a sense of contribution to who that person is, as well as some control over the relationship.

    That said, nice guys are seen as meek, and although that isn’t necesarily a negative thing, the assumption is that they lack confidence. There’s nothing that turn’s women away more than a lack of confidence or conviction. Also, the role of a male in any relationship is typically seen as that of a protector. If a guy seems overly passive, most women won’t want to rely on him to protect them or stand by their side.

    Then there’s romance… from my perspective, I say nice guy’s are more likely to do quaint, thoughtful or sweet things for their partner, but how does this compare to a daring guy who is sponataneous and adventurous? It all depends on perspective, but society – for the most part – favours those who are assertive and will do what it takes to get what they want.

    With this comes the expectation of men to be authoritative, and to be able to make the tough decisions. Women don’t want to be told what to all the time, but when a crises arises, it’s usually seen as the man’s job to step up and take the lead, make difficult choices and so forth.

    IMHO, nice guy’s will typically be better at relating to women, being genuine and showing affection, but these qualities aren’t something you can easily determineupon first meeting someone.

    Also, there is a certain level of aloofness, that while superficial in nature, usually makes women curious. By giving the impression that you’re not overly interested, it puts said woman in a position where she feel’s she has something to prove. By feigning relative indifference, you raise the standard by which they think there being placed on, and in doing so they will perceive you as reaching that standard, whether or not this is true. Nice guy’s might see this a manipulative, and thus wouldn’t use such ‘mind games.’ I haven’t tried that myself, the point is you can influence someone into liking you, but if you want that to be real, then ‘toying’ with someone probably isn’t a good start. Which is why nice guys usually won’t try such things, or will only do so regretfully.

    SO, bad boy’s will usually have better luck on a superficial level, but unless there genuinely a good person, then it’s the nice guy’s who will find meaningful relationship’s. It’s just a shame that many nice girl’s get taken advantage of by a lot of jerk’s before realising this. After that, it’s the nice guy’s who help pick up the pices.

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