Am I being played?- Part 2: A short manual

Check out our You Tube Channel. Getting Played.

We get tons of questions about “getting played.” We’re going to keep this short and sweet and address them all at once. If you think you’re getting played, and your friends think you’re getting played, it’s likely you are getting played.

You’ve heard the expression, “Things aren’t what they seem.” Well that is true in many cases. But in relationships, things are sometimes just as they seem.

Here are some obvious red flags to consider.

1. Doesn’t return phone call.

2. Returns phone call a week later.

3. Only texts or calls when (he/she) wants to come over and, um…”Hang Out.” Translate: Have sex.

4. Blows you off, then starts dating someone else, only to come running back to you, after they break up.

5. Ignores you when you’re with a group of people, but then totally changes when you’re alone.

We’re just getting the list started. Please add your own here and help a friend, or even someone that you don’t know.


14 Comments on Am I being played?- Part 2: A short manual

  1. * Says he’s “confused” about your relationship.
    * Won’t let you come to his place or let you call him at home. (if he has a “home” line)
    * Won’t let you meet any of his friends.

  2. I call this the “Hot & Cold” syndrome, and say he’s ‘got more temperatures than a faucet”. NEXT!

    Here are some other red flags:

    Makes plans with you for next week then forgets. (inconsiderate, lack of personal character)

    Only texts or emails for a date, rather than call you. (inability to be emotionally available or emotionally intimate)

  3. His longest previous relationship was one week, but she was crazy.

    Never has money to pay for dinner. Come to think of it he doesn’t eat with you.

    His computer is in the basement and that’s where he likes to “chat”.

    Never takes you on dates or anywhere for that matter.

    Asks you not to call him, he will call you.

  4. This manual definitely lists the most common obvious signs. I like your reply to this Angela. His longest previous relationship was one week, but she was crazy. That’s a bad sign. True people get “played” if we’re using that word on both sides. It was interesting hearing the male perspective on this.

  5. Wow – this brings back memories. I think I’ve heard everything on the list. Makes me glad I’ve been married for 13 years!

  6. This list makes me happy to be happily married! How about the one who says he’s been “separated from his wife for a year” and you find out they are swingin’ happy!

  7. This list make me happy that I’m already married, too. People do seem to be less personal these days, using one electronic gadget or another to communicate with others. I think it has affected the way we interact with one another. This goes for the dating scene. People rely on non-personal devices way too much these days and they will often use them to keep from evading someone on an intimate level.

    I hate to say it, but I don’t see the worsening situation getting better anytime soon… Unless we have a massive solar storm hit the Earth, shutting down all the electronic equipment and everyone is forced to REALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER.

    Gosh, wouldn’t that be terrible?

  8. Wow, I had to think hard to add something to your list. I’m happily married for more than 7 years now and being played at by an ex seem such a distant memory. Most of my relationships have been meaningful and stable except for one which was abusive. Luckily enough I got away. Not that I had a lot of boyfriends. When I did have one they tend to last for years. Most of my break-ups are amicable except for a violent bf. When he started beating me I was a battered woman with no self-confidence at all. The last straw was when I found out he was playing behind my back. That’s when my anger got the better of me that I left him for good.

  9. Great advice guys, my ex did most of these things and looking back on it now I’m pretty sure he was married. I can’t think of anything to add that hasn’t already been said. Based on my personal experience and what I’ve read here, I won’t fall for that one again!

  10. – won’t go out with you on a weekend night
    – doesn’t pick up his phone when you call, but you do when he calls
    – Won’t Facebook friend you
    – Disappears during major holidays
    – Is periodically “out of town for work”, but gives no details
    – And yes Kernut good point. He only texts, and never calls.

    Hmm…perhaps he is married? Otherwise committed? Anyway, the list goes on.

  11. Married, married, married, that is one of the easiest choices.

  12. Won’t let you meet any of his friends or family members

  13. I think you pretty much nailed it. Gosh it makes me cringe because I got played so badly by Birthday Twin before I met Match. Ugh! The acting different alone, only calling when he wanted the you know what, never returning phone calls, and then the wanting me when I’d finally moved on. Yuck! I do not missing dating one tiny bit!!

  14. Funny how the gender in question is male…playing devils advocate here….women can and are just as much responsible for playing games as men. Now this could be more obvious due to the feminist movement…and/or the internet exposure.
    All in all game playing another is definitely a characteristic of a person one does not want nor can trust in a relationship.
    There is so much good informative advice out there these days describing the players and the narcosis types that women and men should be alot more aware of the signs, not to mention the dangers of being blinded by those ‘lovin feelings’.
    I would like to see a few male counter[parts answer in this post just to balance the playing field out a bit.

    This list is well rounded and quite complete…jst keep in mind that game playing is so not gender specific~

    Another very thought provoking topic Guys~

    Have an awesome day~

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