Are guys all about looks? Help; what am I doing wrong?

Other questions about looks and physical beauty: 

Can a guy’s taste really change? 

Do looks matter? 

I’m short and I don’t feel beautiful

Hey Guys,

I’m a girl and I have this problem of attracting guys I don’t like, and losing the men I do like; and I really have know idea why. (I tend to go for the quiet, smart, and noble type like Alucard from Castlevania or Link from Legend of Zelda rather then the stereotypical bad boy).

I mean, I’m a bit quiet and reserved, and I’m tall and skinny like a model so I’m not very concerned with how I look. I hate makeup, I speak frankly, and I wear hoodies and cargo shorts because they’re convenient. I often talk and daydream about the world and philosophy, and I love video games. People keep telling me I’m a man’s dream come true, but if it was, I wouldn’t be having this problem. Am I too weird and boy-ish? Should I try wearing dresses, makeup, and frilly things like other girls even though I don’t like it? I like me the way I am, but I still have yet to get a good boyfriend and I’m 20.

I know girls have all these ‘handbooks on men’ but I think that’s just a bunch of crap. I want to hear it from a guy, but my guy friends got the wrong idea when I asked.


Dear Lolly,

Thanks for your question.

Our answer: Keep being yourself. That’s the most attractive quality in a woman—or anyone for that matter.

It’s probably less your looks and more your attitude. Wearing hoodies, loose clothes, and other boyish attire might be telling the guys who you might want to meet that you’re not open to their advances. You see, most guys need to think they have some sort of chance with a woman. If they see a girl who either looks threatening, unavailable, or out of their league, they’re not going to even try. Guys might pretend they are full of confidence, but their egos are often fragile—especially younger guys. (Guys in their teens and early 20s)

So this is not about dresses and makeup it’s about making yourself seem more open. Is there a way you can do this without compromising who you are? You seem like  a smart person, so we have no doubt that you can figure this out.

Also, it’s possible you keep traveling in the same circles and meeting the same kinds of guys. Are you in college? Taking classes? Pursuing your interests in a broader way? This is the best way to meet some guys you might actually like. Common interest is a great place to start.

Finally, stop fretting. It will happen for you. You are young, and the guys you’re hanging with just don’t “see you” yet. Trust us, at some point you won’t know how to fend off all the advances. At which time you might need to enlist Alucard and Link to help you.

We hope this helps a little.

Good luck,


ps. Please let your friends know about us. Thanks!

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