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Back on the scene, three kids later.

Tuesday, June 30.

The last day of June is here.Finally!

In our minds, summer officially starts this coming weekend. Something about the 4rth of July helps us shift into summer mode. That's why this Friday we'll be sharing our "Ode to Summer" with you.

But for now, here's the next question and answer.


Dear Guys,
I've been divorced for about a year now and I'm ready to get back on the scene. Well in fact, I joined an online dating service as you know, so I'm definitely ready. But I'm nervous about entering the dating scene again after 10 yrs. of marriage. What should I expect? Are guys going to be open to becoming involved with a women who's divorced with three children living at home?

Lisa, Illinois

Dear Lisa,

Contrary to public belief, not all guys are kid shy. And
it’s not like you have 8 kids!(Reference to recent reality show debacle) But
we’d by lying to you if we said your situation wasn’t a bit more complicated.
It is. Relationships are difficult enough with just two people. Add three more
people into the mix and now you’re trying to juggle five people’s needs instead
of two.

However, that certainly doesn’t mean you won’t meet a guy that you like a lot.
It just means you might have to look harder. Not every man will be willing or
open to take on the whole package. Guys who’ve never been married are less
likely to pursue a situation like yours, but we’ve seen it happen. However many
guys will be plenty open to you and your kids, especially if they have kids
themselves. Keep yourself open minded and you might be surprised.

 

Your Plan: Keep doing what you're doing. The online dating service that you're currently using has connected a lot of people. Also, if your
friends are trying to fix you up, let them. Say yes to everything social. Go out with your friends if they
ask you to. Go to parties even if it’s all couples. Make an effort and it’s
likely you’ll meet someone you didn’t expect at some place you didn’t expect. And of course keep doing the things you love. If it's reading books, maybe you'll meet someone at a book group. Or if it's hiking, join a hiking club. (Hopefully you have a reliable and CHEAP babysitter to help you out.)

We don’t
underestimate how much more juggling you’re going to have to do than someone without kids. And we realize that having three kids will limit your ability to just say yes. But, you’re obviously motivated to get back out there, so keep going for
it. Please check back with us and tell us how things are going. We’ll be happy
to give our opinions on any new situation that may arise.

 

And by the way: MOMS RULE!

THE GUYS


2 Comments on Back on the scene, three kids later.

  1. Hi, guys. Saw this website and find it so informative. Thank you! After 11 years of marriage, I am recently divorced, age 35, with a young child. I have 2 daughters (16 & 18), who lives in another state with their father, from a marriage that happened when I was 17. I don’t know how to date anymore. My dating skills are quite dusty. I signed up for a dating website. Been on a few dates, but none of them catches my attention, except for one. It has only been over a month that I have been dating him. He’s 39, no children, never married. He has his own business. I’m a busy person, juggling work (5 days a week) and motherhood at the same time. I have my son 5-6 days a week, since his father can’t see to find time for him, other than at his convenience. Because of my son and work, I made it known to him that I am only available on the weekends. 1st date, we met for lunch and spent the whole day together. Our plan for the next date was cancelled by him because of his work, so he asked if I could visit in his home town (2-hr drive) the next weekend. On 2nd date, he showed me around town, had dinner, and convos. 3rd date, he took me camping. The next weekend he invited me to his place, but I cancelled because I felt like I wasn’t anything other than a companion to take his lonliness away. After I said “no” he questioned why I wasn’t able to. I told him I needed to catch up on my house chores, then he told me he would like to see me before he leaves town. I told him I couldn’t but would love to whenever he returns. The next following week he was leaving for his home town, and again texted to see if he could see me. I agreed. He drove to my town and on our 4th date, we took a walk in the park and talked, had dinner, & drinks. On this date, he asked if he could accompanied me to Vegas to meet my friends. I said he could if he wants to, and he agreed. He asked if I would like to accompany him to his next business trip. I didn’t give him an answer other than “that’s sweet.” He talked about getting a temporary place in a town between his and mine, so that we could spend more time together. He suggested that I move to his town (it’s a smaller town than mine), when I mentioned of how I dislike my current town and wanting to move to a bigger city, about 5 hours away, because that city is where my only closest friend/family is at, in the state I am currently living. He knows I moved here to fix my broken marriage at the expense of not having friends or family. He said he’s not an affectionate person in public, but with me he feels different; we never held hands or kissed in public on the previous dates, except for this recent date. He said his good friends know about me, but I’ve never met them, but I’m taking in consideration that he recently moved to his current home town about 9 months ago and most of his “friends” are people who works for him, he works with, or for. But on our 2nd date, he did introduced me as a “friend” to an old friend from another state that was visiting his current home town. The thing I have an issue/concern with him is his lack of communication. He was never big on communication prior to us meeting or even prior to having sex. Keep in mind, we had sex every date, other than the first. When he said he will email, or call, he does. The dates we had were all initiated by him. Occasionally, or sporadically, he will text to see how I’m doing or to make plans to meet. I would hate to invest my time with this person if I am only for “fun and casual sex-relationship”, which seems like it, due to his lack of communication, but at the same token, I know it’s too early to make any assumptions, but it’s just that when I met my 2nd ex-husband, he always kept in contact with me throughout the week, but at the same time, just because a guy contacts me every day, it probably just means he wants sex, until something better comes around. Dating is so scary, confusing and complex. I would greatly appreciate your feedback. Thank you, and I also mention your website to all of my friends.

  2. Hi guys,
    So I’ve been married for 5 years and I keep having the same recurring issue with my husband communicating with women. Before it wasn’t a huge problem until a woman started send explicit text and pictures and he never stopped the relationship with that person until 3 years into out marriage. We agreed after the issue that we won’t communicate with women or men, in my case, outside of work or other places. Lately we have been having issues and aren’t on the same pages but because of that he thinks it’s acceptable to communicate with women again…I need to know am I overreacting or should I trust things will be different this time?

    Thank in advance!

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