I recently met a guy very randomly when out with my friends when visiting back home. (I work and live abroad). My guy friends said he was so ‘into me.’ He stayed with us all night, then stayed at the hotel with me. Stuff happened but no sex. In the morning he pretty much begged me not to forget him, and asked when I’d be back next; he suggested he visit me in November.
Okay, so it’s been a few weeks and we have been messaging each other on Facebook and some messages are kind of nonchalant and others cute. I invited him in November which he thought was great then but then he didn’t mention it again and asked if I was home for Xmas. (Which I am).
Anyway, he does the whole thing where I message him and sometimes he waits over a day to respond. Now I’m a tough cookie and if he doesn’t message me I won’t message him, but I don’t want to play games. Surely if a guy is into you he shows it, right?
Now my guy friends are confused. They said it could be that I have a very high-powered job and a high standard of living, and he feels a little intimidated. They say, perhaps he can’t afford to travel over. They also said maybe he is playing it cool as he is divorced with two kids.
I’ve met a lot of materialistic men and it’s nice to finally meet someone who’s down to earth. I’ve had a very rough few years and I don’t want to be too hopeful.
Could it be that he lost interest already?
Thanks for your question.
There’s something you may not be considering. (Or your guy friends.) You don’t mention how old his kids are, but we’re assuming in grade school, or middle school. If that’s the case, traveling to see you in November may be difficult. Yes, he got a little bit excited, and maybe he was more excited about the “idea” of you and love, rather than the reality, but having kids can definitely impact a person’s flexibility and freedom. And sure, money is likely tight as well. (Kids are really expensive!)
We doubt he’s intimidated by your high-powered job. But we also don’t doubt he’s unsure of how to proceed, or how accepting you’ll be of his “situation.” Maybe that’s what’s tempered his enthusiasm? Whatever it is, don’t stress over it. And don’t give him a hard time about coming or not coming in November. Just go with the flow, do your thing, and see him in December. You need more information here, and the best time to get that is when you’re with him face-to-face.
Finally, keep in touch with him, but let him do most of the initiating. We don’t love his inconsistent communication honestly, but that’s not necessarily a red-flag. (But it’s something to consider.) What it does mean is that he doesn’t get it; he doesn’t understand that communication is very important in any stage of a relationship. (Hopefully it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care.)
So stop worrying, and just see where this goes. It could be that he got excited initially and now he isn’t sure, but more likely this is one of those nebulous chapters in a relationship where everything is up in the air. December is right around the corner and we imagine you’ll get plenty more answers then.
We hope this helps. Do you have any more questions? Feel free to ask away. And do us a favor? Please share our site with friends. (Your guy and gal friends.) We appreciate it. Thanks.