College Romance: Confused by his intentions

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Hey Guys,

Ok, here is the deal. I have had a crush on this guy for some time now. He doesn’t know, but we are friends and we participate on an athletic team together. I am in college and have never had a serious relationship. I am an extremely nice, open girl. Many people tell me how comfortable I make them feel when we talk. I feel like I am an attractive girl too.

The other night the guy I am crushing on asked what I was doing that night and we ended up watching a movie with another of my girl friends. After the movie, it ended up just him and me talking for about 2-3 hours about things about him and me. He talked about past relationships and what he is looking for in a girl. He also asked about my past relationships and complimented my humor and such. He told me I was a “chill” girl. Surprisingly, that is what he is looking for in a girl.

Why did he tell me all of this? Part of me wanted to say something like, “I kind of like you.” Should I have? What do you think his intentions are? Is he just treating me like a friend or does he see potential in me? I feel like he can be a sort of flirt sometimes and he may not want a girlfriend now.

What do you think?


Dear Bella,

Thanks for your question.

Yes, he definitely was fishing around to see if he could get any information from you. And of course subtly telling you he’s interested.

Normally we tell people to be open and upfront, but in your case he needs to make his intentions known by asking you out on a proper date, before you let him know how you feel. We realize you’re in college and that a proper date might be meeting at the student center for a cup of coffee, but either way he should be the one making the first move, especially since you say he can be a flirt sometimes. After a few dates if things seem to be progressing in the “right” way, then by all means you should reveal how you feel.

We’re not quite sure what he meant by a “chill” girl. He probably means you’re easy to talk to, and you’re someone who is comfortable in her own skin. Don’t be surprised, and don’t sell yourself short. Guys love an attractive girl, who’s intelligent, and can also hang with the “BOYS.”

Please keep us updated on your situation. Leave us a follow up comment.

Good luck,


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4 Comments on College Romance: Confused by his intentions

  1. Thanks for answering my question! I agree with you when you say I should wait and see what he does. It’s so hard to know if someone feels feelings for you or not. I guess being a “chill” girl is an ok thing. I just hope guys don’t think of me as “just a friend”, but I guess that’s where all relationships start!

  2. @Bella……..Trust us. Not all guys will think of you as just a friend. But it’s important to not cast yourself in that role every time. Meaning, you don’t want to be the girl
    that guys seek out to tell their troubles to. (We say the same thing to the guys.) Just keep doing what you’re doing, and you will meet a great guy, if this guy turns out not to be the one. We still think he likes you. Keep us posted.

  3. ok, update. He met my parents in an unofficial visit, and one of my friends came along too. He came over just him afterward and we talked and hung out, he has been flirty. I don’t know what to think. He isn’t really being strong in his intentions. I don’t want to become hurt, I don’t know how much to give concerning if this is going anywhere. Is he just playing me? Should I just see what he does?

  4. @Bella….You have two choices. Either wait it out and see if he’ll decide to pursue you, or let him know how you feel and then see what happens. The latter is riskier because he may tell you he’s not interested, but at least you’ll know. But we’d give him a bit more time. Try not to drive yourself crazy. Keep busy doing the things you love to do, and hang out with your friends and family.
    If he doesn’t ask you out soon, you might want to move on when you go back to school in the fall and be open to other possibilities.

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