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Am I being played?
So for the past few months I have been talking to this guy I met about 4 years ago. I had really liked him at that time but we were in high school and lived in two different states. But I recently found out he now lives near me. But he is in the army now and is about to be deployed again. I really like him and we plan on going to dinner when I get home soon-I’m in college on the other side of the state. But since he is leaving he doesn’t want to hurt me.
I am just wondering if when I go see him should I try and see what he wants or should I just not even try and see if there is a future for us? I really like him and he really likes me, but since he is being deployed again that just creates another issue.
What should I do? Thanks for your help.
Thanks for writing to us.
We can see your dilemma. Long distance relationships are hard enough, but when someone is deployed in another country it’s a whole other matter.
However, these types of relationships can work, but both people need to be fully committed to the other person, and to the relationship. This requires a huge amount of faith, trust, and communication. Since you won’t be able to see each other unless he comes home on leave, the two of you will have to rely on other means of connecting. And even though we’ve railed on texting as a poor substitute for talking, in your case you’re going to have to use any means you can to keep connected emotionally.
Try texts, emails, phone calls, hand written letters, presents, etc.
So yes Dominique, you should do what your heart tells you to do, and hopefully his heart is telling him the same thing. Both of you need to be on the same page here or it won’t work.
No one would choose this situation, but if you care enough about each other you can make it work. So why not go for it?
Visit “E” a friend of THE GUYS to get the inside scoop on dating and deployment:
ps. If you do decide to go for it, try and find a support group of other girlfriends, and/or wives that are in the same boat as you. That might help, and we know they’re out there.
You could even start one of your own in your town, or online as a blog.