>>BOOK YOUR PRIVATE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION WITH THE GUYS TODAY!<<

Dating divorced guy who is still in pain

Please visit our new VIDEO PAGE and check out our new videos:

Dating Older Men

Getting Played: Trust your Gut

Getting Played: Listen to your friends

Or check out our You Tube Channel. Getting Played.Please Subscribe and leave us a comment.

Dear Friends,

Thank you for all of your questions. We have a serious backlog, but we are working hard at answering them as quickly as possible. Thanks for your patience. (Remember, it’s not possible for us to answer every question we receive, but we’re trying our best. Please also keep in mind, that your questions, although personal, are meant for public consumption. Meaning, we’ll be answering them on our blog. (On the Ask the Guys page.)

For those of you who have donated to us, THANK YOU. It does take considerable time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly. And yes, there are real guys behind the scenes discussing the questions, and responding.

If you’re not sure how much to donate, just give what you’re comfortable with—whatever good advice is worth to you.

Thanks again,

THE GUYS

Some recent questions:

Dating situation: Does this have a chance to become a relationship?

Older woman is confused

Confused: I don’t understand this guy’s behavior?

Multiple Questions

Big problem with relationship: really need help

Men: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them

This guy said I look swell

My boyfriend used to date one of my friends

Getting over him still

He dumped me, we remained friends, is he still into me?

Dear Guys,

I have been seeing a guy who got divorced two years ago.  He went through a rough divorce and was betrayed pretty horribly by his ex. They have no kids and have had no contact in nearly the two years since all has been finalized.

Last weekend I stayed at his place for the first time and during that time he started to show me pictures on his computer because he has an online business and wanted me to see his commercials. In the process he came across pictures that set him off. He spent the rest of our time together over the weekend telling me the divorce story over and over. The pain I witnessed was horrible. Not only did I learn more than I wanted to ever know but he made statements about how the future is lost, how he had planned a life that will never happen, that he doesn’t know what was true and what was a lie. He would mention little things they did together.  That they had so much fun and it is gone. I felt like I wanted to be supportive and understanding but at the same time I felt like he was dismissing any opportunity that we could ever have—that he is so deep in pain still that perhaps there isn’t room for me or a future. This is all new for me. I have not dated someone divorced before.

I don’t know if I should feel complimented that he trusted me enough to let me in to his darkest thoughts or if I am hurt over his talk of dispair and hopelessness over prospects and a future lost. I’m a patient person and willing to take a risk but I also don’t want to be played a fool. I left exhausted and cried the whole drive home. He didn’t communicate with me today at all. Something we have been good at and consistently have done since our first date, even if only a hello on text.

I need advice on where this guy’s head is at and what I should be doing.

Hang in there or move forward?

Mic

Dear Mic,

Thanks for your question.

Clearly this guy has a lot of healing still to do. And based on how intense his feelings are, it might be quite awhile before he’s able to be truly open to a new relationship.

Obviously he feels very comfortable with you, otherwise he wouldn’t have opened up to you so much. We don’t think he’s playing you or using you, but if you’re willing to listen, he’s going to talk about his divorce. In fact, he’ll talk to anyone willing to listen because his feelings are still very raw. Sure, this is understandable, with all that he’s gone through—and still going through—but do you really want to be his main sounding board? You need to ask yourself that very question, because this is unlikely to abate anytime soon.

If you’re up for the challenge, and you believe you have a very strong connection with this guy, proceed with caution and patience. But understand you will be challenged on many levels if you stay the course. It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Please let your friends know about us. Join us on Facebook. Subscribe to our You Tube Channel.

 

 

 

2 Comments on Dating divorced guy who is still in pain

  1. Thank you Guys for your advice about the Divorced Guy in Pain. Since I first wrote you he has continued to degrade. I asked him to seek professional help. He agreed to do this and in the process I set up some boundaries in order to protect myself. Things worked for a short time but then he blew and started to accuse me of saying and doing things his ex had done for no reason at all. He became extremely paranoid and frankly, ugly. Out of the blue he lost it. I pleaded with him to get professional help and to please take himself off the market until he is ready to really be healed and ready to be fully with a new person and not living in the past.

    I am sad that he is so hurt and that things ended so poorly but feel I did nothing wrong other than to be supportive. I only hope he can heal since he has some wonderful qualities and gifts.

    Thanks again for the advice. Peace and Love to you.

    Mic

  2. @Mic……thanks for the update. We’re sorry things didn’t work out. And yes, we hope he gets the help he needs. And of course, we wish you the best. Enjoy
    your fourth of July weekend. Take care.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


Maximum comment length is 1500 characters.

*