I got chatting to a friend of a friend on Facebook and really hit it off with him. Things got very intense between us very quickly. A month later we met up for a date. (He is in the army and is based around 150 miles away from me at the moment.) The date went so well and we were excited to see each other again.
A few weeks later he came up to stay at my house and we had a wonderful weekend together. A few more wonderful weekends followed, full of passion and fun and no pressure. It all felt so right. We talked about everything. I completely understood and knew that he could be posted anywhere in the army. I told him that I was prepared to move and free myself up. I did not tell him that I was falling in love with him as I did not want to come across as too much.
Just this weekend when I was traveling to see him he phoned and said he could not wait to see me and would be so proud to be with me at the army ball. He said I was the only woman he had ever invited onto the camp and into his house too. I felt this was such a good sign. But I also caught sight of his phone when a text popped up from a woman from Plenty of Fish. I asked him casually about it and he said he had a profile still but he did not really use it anymore.
When I got home yesterday, still glowing from the weekend, I sent him a text asking if we were exclusive and he said he had feelings for me but the distance between where we live really bothered him and that it would not work. I was stunned after the way we have been so close. I said that I would not let it get in the way and that we should not stop dating just because of that and especially when we felt so much for each other. He said that I was so lovely and if it wasn’t for the distance it would work but that he was so sorry but the distance was too much of a problem. I am devastated.
What should I do now?
Sometimes the most difficult aspect of a breakup is not understanding why it happened. His distance excuse seems a bit convenient, a little too easy and clean. We don’t know him, but we do know guys. If he was totally in love with you, the distance would only be a minor deterrent.
So why did he break things off?
We suspect a combination of reasons. 1. Sounds like he was interested in seeing other women. (If he didn’t currently use Plenty of Fish that woman wouldn’t have contacted him.) 2. When you told him that you’d move for him, he realized that you were more into him than he was into you. 3. He knows he could be stationed somewhere far away and he didn’t want to get involved in something he had to untangle himself from.
However, those are all excuses, masking the truth, which is, he wasn’t into you enough to put the extra effort into the relationship. We’re really sorry to have to say that, but that’s how we see it.
You ask what you can do?
The truth is, nothing. The ball is in his court. If he has a change of heart he’ll contact you. However, if he does, make sure you have a talk with him about all the questions you have. Sometimes hormones will cause a guy to believe he made a mistake. We’d hate for you to reconcile just to hookup with him, only to have to start the healing process once again when he breaks it off for a second time.
We are truly sorry. Please let us know if you have any follow-up questions or comments. Please leave in the comments section below. (You must be Logged In to do so.)
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