I am back in the dating game after being married for twenty years. (I’ve also been single and alone for the last two after the divorce.) I finally decided to try online dating and I met a woman who I like. I’ve been seeing her for a month or so. Things are starting to progress I think. We’ve been going to the movies and hanging out but I’m kind of struggling to come up with cool date ideas. What do you suggest?
Thanks for your question. We can see how the prospect of dating after twenty years of marriage might be daunting. You last dated in the era of grunge, mood rings, Will Smith, scrunchies, Backstreet Boys, and Pulp Fiction. The world’s changed a lot since then, but dating hasn’t really. A woman still wants the same essential things. She wants a guy who listens, makes her laugh, takes her out, converses with her, gives her gifts occasionally, and respects her and loves her. Those would be the most important things to focus on with your recent foray into the dating world.
We’re happy to provide you with some basic date ideas but we’re sure you’ve got some creative juices running through your body. Probably the more you do it, the more ideas will come to you.
Here are the real basics that every guy should know:
1. Dinner: Find out what she likes and keep it simple. Pick her up. Push her chair in for her. But let her order her own food. And then sit back and have a nice conversation. Don’t forget to chew with your mouth closed and don’t have food in your teeth. Seriously. It’s easy to forget. Don’t drink too much where she’s concerned about you driving her home.
2. A walk: Yes, dates during the day can be fun. Some exercise and good conversation are a potent combination. The venue is up to you. A park is always nice, but so is a nice neighborhood.
3. Take a trip to the city or the country: Depending on if you’re a city mouse or a country mouse a trip to the opposite place is a nice change. If you live in the busy confines of the city, take her out for a drive in the country. Sip some coffee or cider with the windows down and the radio on. Keep it quiet enough for the two of you to talk. If you live in the country, there’s nothing like a trip to the city to take in a show, or have dinner, or just to walk around. Maybe even take the train because parking will be a pain.
4. Go to a game. Yes, that’s right. She may not be into sports but it will be fun. Baseball, basketball, hockey or whatever. Any of these will provide you with a festive atmosphere to cheer, get rowdy, and bond. There may even be some moments of snuggling, especially during a boring night game when the home team’s getting crushed.
5. Take a class together: There are a ton of adult ed classes the two of you could take together. Cooking, yoga, French, maybe even Tantric Sex. (Just kidding…..kind of.) Anyway, what better way to get to know one another then by learning something new together.
6. There are many more elaborate ideas, but we leave that up to you. You can do it!
Does this help?
The last bit of advice we can give you is to be yourself. If you don’t have a lot of cash don’t try to be a big spender. If you don’t like wild and crazy then don’t take her out to a wild and crazy place. You want her to dig you for you, not for the guy you’re pretending to be. Authenticity is still a huge part of the dating game.
And there you have it. Let us know if we can answer any more of your questions. And good luck.