Does he just want sex?

Dear Guys,

So I’ve been seeing this guy for about two-and-a-half weeks. He is recently out of a long-term relationship and says he doesn’t know where his head is at but that he is really enjoying things with us. So a few days ago he called me when he got home from the gym (he’s never called me before) and said that he just wanted to talk to me. And then last night he called me at 2am in the morning, drunk. He was being cute and asked why I answered at 2am in the morning. I told him that I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t an emergency. He said that it was an emergency because he was thinking about me and needed to hear my voice. He didn’t try and get me to come over or insinuate anything sexual at all. One of my guy friends said not to read too much into it, that he just wanted sex. But this friend has also shown a very jealous side when I am with another guy or seeing someone.

So I’m just looking for an unbiased guy’s opinion. It made me feel really good that when he was laying in bed, I was the one he wanted to talk to. But I also don’t want to be wrong and have it get my hopes up about him. What do you guys think?


Dear Ashley,

We’re not gonna pull any punches here. But understand our comments come from a supportive place.

No guy should be calling you at 2am in the morning, unless it’s your father, brother, a close friend, or a serious boyfriend. We agree with your jealous friend—although in this case he’s telling it to you straight. This new guy was fishing for answers when he called you. He was wondering if you were alone. He was testing to see if you’d answer. He was hoping the conversation might work it’s way around to sex, not necessarily to get you to come over that night, but to put the idea in your head for a future date or dates. And his cheesy line about it being an emergency sounds like a line straight from a playa’s mouth.

The other issue here is the fact that he’s not interested in a serious relationship right now. Most guys coming out of a long-term relationship are not thinking about getting involved right away with another woman. What they typically want is the freedom to come and go as they please. They want to date around, have sex with different people, make up for lost time. Your situation sounds like it might be moving towards a Friends with Benefits (check out our e-report) situation or a Booty Call situation. Keep your eyes open if you decide to move forward Ashley.

Bottom Line: Calls in the wee hours of the morning, while they may be exciting, are inappropriate and about sex.

Let us know if you have any follow-up questions or comments. If you do, please leave in the comments’ section below. You must be Logged In to do so.


ps. We hope you’ll let your friends know about us. Thanks.

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