I like a guy who is 16, the same age as me. He’s always looking at me. And all my friends tell me that they are good looks. But whenever he is with his friends, he won’t look at me as much, but he sometimes will sort of sneak some looks when his friends aren’t paying much attention to him.
We haven’t really talked before but he does know my name. My friends have noticed and they don’t understand either. Whenever he looks at me I quickly look away.
He is also really popular, and I’m not really that popular. I’m also not in any of his classes. Also my friends say that he is an asshole, but they don’t know him very well.
I’m so confused, this has been going on since the start of this year and I know that he is single and looking for a girlfriend.
Is he worried what his friends would think of me or something?
Does he like me or not? What do I do?
Thanks for your question. This is the kind of scenario that plays out at high schools all across the country. In fact this dance doesn’t really stop there. It continues on throughout adult life.
First of all, if what you say is true, and he’s constantly looking at you, it’s very likely he likes you or finds you attractive. So that’s the good news.
It’s also likely, if the two of you run in different social circles, he’s not sure how to approach you. High school is about appearances. (Actually much of life is about appearances, but we digress.) He certainly doesn’t want to risk being shot down by you, or teased by his friends if he is rejected, because there’s nothing worse to a high school guy than being embarrassed.
So we guess the question is, how do you let him know you’re interested? Or do you?
If you were older, we might suggest you just tell him. The less game playing the better. But for you that might not be the best idea.
Is it possible to enlist some of your friends to help? This seems to be the way things work in high school. A note is passed. A friend mentions to him that you might be interested. (Might being the optimal word here.) This way everyone saves face if it doesn’t work out.
Of course you could always go against the grain and just smile and say hi to him. Or you could try to strike up a conversation with him in the hall or in the cafeteria. Or if he plays sports, go watch him play. Make it obvious you’re there to see him.
Teenage boys are just learning how to approach girls. They might talk a good game, or act like they’re studly, but they’re scared and not as confident as they project. And they certainly like a sure thing. Meaning, they want to know the girl they ask out is going to say yes, 100%. Doubting that even a little is enough for them to hang back and not go for it. Now that we think about it, it’s not much different from a man asking a woman to marry him. Usually, he’s pretty much sure the answer will be yes.
So you have to decide how you want to approach this. But it’s likely that if you really want to find out what’s going on, you’ll have to be the one to take the risk. Someone has to! It doesn’t sound like he’s going to.
We hope this helps you Sammy. Good luck.