DTR talk required: I’d like to “Define the Relationship”

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Hi Guys,

I am in desperate need of an opinion here…

I’ve known this guy for years now. We used to have sex three years ago. We would go for a coffee, swimming, etc. But then we stopped seeing each other.

Three months ago we reconnected. We went for long runs, went swimming, practiced yoga, went for dinner, and breakfast. He took me sailing with his dad and best friend. After that we met again, he cooked dinner and we ended up having sex.

Now we get together and end up having sex. I’ll stay at his place, then he’ll take me to work in the morning.

Last week I met his other best friend…The thing is that he doesn’t contact me much—just a few texts. He takes like an average of five hours to reply to an text. At this point—a month after we had sex for the “first” time— I am wondering whether I am just a booty call or whether we should have the DTR talk..


Dear Maria,

Thanks for your question. We are embarrassed to say we had to look up DTR to see what it stood for. Although we learned of 25 different possible answers we’re assuming it means: Define the Relationship.

If you’ve had sex with him, why can’t you have the DTR conversation? You’ve already been intimate with him, so we see no reason not to at least get a clearer sense about where you stand with him, and what he wants out of your relationship.

Clearly you want more, so it seems important to know if the two of you are on the same page. If not, we’d say it’s time for you to MOTSE: move on to someone else.  Unless you’re happy being the BC: Booty call.

Also, you’ve been on and off for three years now. If something serious were going to happen between the two of you, we’re wondering why it hasn’t already. So yes, it’s time for the talk. It may not work out, but at least you won’t be left wondering.

Good luck,


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