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Getting back together: Is it possible?

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What do I do now? How can I leave my relationship?

Hey Guys,

I went out with this guy for almost a year and a half. About a month ago I broke up with him because he was getting a little to serious for 8th grade. We both have gone out with other people since then but both of our new relationships haven’t worked out. Now we are in the same summer school course and all my friends say that it’s a possibility we could get back together. And I am absolutely head over heels for him, but I dont know if he is into me. I’ve caught him looking at me once or twice. I’ve also been walking home with him, but when we talk it’s kinda casual talk. However, when his friend walk with us he kind of ignores me and he doesn’t really talk to me in class either. I don’t know what to do because I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. But I don’t know if he likes me. I can’t read his actions.

Please help me understand how he feels about me and if it’s a possibility to get back together with him

Thank you,

Angel

Dear Angel,

Thanks for your question. We’ll do our best to help you figure this out, although without actually being there it’s hard to say for sure what’s going on.

Let us understand something first: You broke up with him because he was getting too serious for 8th grade? But now, after a little break, you find yourself in love with him again, which sounds pretty serious to us. We’re just wondering if something’s changed for you? If and when you get back together, are you going to all of a sudden decide it’s too serious again and break up with him again? Or do you think you’ve reached a new level of maturity and understanding about relationships?

Your instincts are right. Eighth grade is a bit young to be intensely serious about someone. We think it’s a good time for exploration. A time to try out different “outfits” and see which one fits best. We’re not saying it’s too young to be in love, but at your age, love comes and goes so quickly, it’s hard to define really.

But let’s get back to your question. It’s likely he’s still into you, since you were the one who broke up with him. Trust your gut. Listen to your friends. You would know better than us what his “looks” actually mean. (Check out our videos on these very topics. See our video page.)

However, if he’s only looking at you and acting casual, it might be that he’s gun shy since he doesn’t know where you stand. You might have to take some initiative and make it obvious to him that you’re interested again. Eighth grade male egos are very fragile, and you’ve already wounded him once, so he’s protecting himself.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

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24 Comments on Getting back together: Is it possible?

  1. @Kayla….Take care. And keep us posted on how things are. Ask another question anytime.

  2. Q: My guy friend kissed me, my boyfriend broke up with me, how to get out of a “secret relationship” and fix my relationship with the boyfriend?

    I have been dating my current boyfriend or now ex boyfriend, for over a year. (We are both just 18 and seniors in highschool). We are each others’ first loves and I am his first uhmm sex. Over the summer we were in different countries and a family friend of mine was in the same area so we decided to meet up and catch a funny movie. During the movie he pecked me on the lips out of nowhere and due to my boyfriend flying back home on a plane, and my doing the same the next day, we had a gap of 3 days with no talking. The family friend decided to tell him a distorted version–that I had initiated and it had gone farther than just a peck from him. My boyfriend and I eventually talked it out and he knows the truth but he is still upset that he hadn’t heard it from me first. He broke up with me.

    Since the breakup we have never had a solid end. We are still involved with each other and somewhat in a relationship. We see each other on weekends only (I have to sneak into his house at night) and yes we do have sex occasionally but it is not a FWB relationship (I know this because we still talk as though we are dating, with the I love you’s etc. and we are exclusive, neither of us has been involved with anyone else.) He insists on keeping the relationship a secret and to me it hurts because he just is not as affectionate and at school we are merely acquaintances… his reason is that there is too much pressure that comes with fully dating me and that he’s too busy right now, but to me it seems like a pride/trust issue. We have worked things out a bit, he now has my FB password and he knows I am committed to only him but how do I get things back on track–how do I turn our secret relationship public? (I have had some talks with him in the past, even in tears but they seem to end with the same reasons by him about why we cannot be together…)

    Please help, I love him very much.

  3. @Rene…….You’re right. This is partly a pride issue, but it’s also a trust issue. He doesn’t totally trust you anymore. Maybe if he was ten years older he might understand that life is complicated and sometimes strange things happen, but that’s a little harder to understand at 18. (Although, we’re still wondering how that actually happened? How were you even in a situation where that was possible to happen? Honestly, it doesn’t seem to add up.) And if we’re having this reaction, we can only wonder what he’s thinking. Basically, he still wants you, but he’s not willing to put his heart out there again. So he’s getting his needs met with you, but not putting himself at risk. And basically, he now holds all the power. If you really want him back you need to apologize again, explain to him again, and tell him that you love him, but that you’re no longer going to be in a secret relationship with him. If he wants you back, he needs to accept your apology, forgive you and move forward with you, in PUBLIC. If not, then you need to move on as hard as this may be. Because the way this is going, it’s only going to get more difficult, more confusing, and more frustrating for you. Thoughts? Any other questions? Ask away. ps. Please share our site with all of your friends. Thanks. We appreciate it. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz. Also, help a fellow reader and VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Only takes a moment.

  4. Hey guys, my story is very complicated, I hope you can help me. I was in a relationship for one year and a half, everything was perfect, he was completely in love with me, he said it everyday, he was always giving me expensive presents and taking me out to dinner, he even stopped smoking because of me. When we made another month together he sent me a text at midnight saying that he was very happy and I was the first one who he felt like this and things like that. The problem is I’m not a person who is attached by another one easily,so I was a little cold with him. I liked him very much and I also gave him presents but didn’t feel the same way, until I started having real problems with my family, then I saw how much I loved him. The summer started and my problems got worse and I was always very nervous and started to feel alone even when I was with him. We went on vacation together and I don’t know why, I couldn’t stand being with him so we started fighting about everything and he cried a lot but I couldn’t control myself, it was like I hated him but at the same time I couldn’t break up. After that he told me he wanted to be with his friends more, because he felt better with them. That hurt me a lot but I understood. So after that we went to the same holidays location but with each other friends. One night we had a big fight and I said things I shouldn’t, then I break down when he said he dind’t know if he still loved me. I couldn’t stand hearing that so I run away, I cried like I never did and he went away leaving me alone in the street. When I calmed down I went after him to tell him that I hope we would be happy, hearing that he starts crying, begging me not to leave him, that now he sees he truly loves me! Okay…after talking, we tried another time and I came back home. He stayed there with his friends but the truth is, I was completely destroyed inside because the person I trust the more hurt me and that feeling stayed there until we end up the relationship for real. By the way, i hate his best friends, one is a playboy who dates several girls at the same time, the other one has a girlfriend who he loves but he hit her one night because he was jeallous, and another one loves is ex girlfriend but has another girlfriend. After that we still argued a lot and he told me that when he was alone he didn’t think of me but when he was with me, he’s still completely in love with me and wants to marry me (when we were good, he was always talking about marriage and the future), hearing things like that only hurt me because I didn’t know if it was truth or not. At the end of the summer I went with him and all of his friends (big mistake) to his summer house and it was a nightmare, I felt so alone and we still didn’t stop fighting. One day I broke up with him and he tried for hours to get back together and when I finally said yes, he said it’s better to be apart because we were hurting each other and always fighting, at first I tried to change his mind but then I agreed and felt a big relief because I thought I saw him only has a friend and he told me the same, I saw he was shocked when I said he was right but he didn’t take back anything, and went out with his friends, he seemed really happy. I stayed at his place and the next day he was very nice to me and tried talking with me alone but I didn’t want to, I thoutht I was happy without him, I was so wrong. Then the night was a disaster, I drunk too much and lost control of myself so I said I was in love with someone else (a guy who I was in love with when I started this relashionship and my ex knew it)but it wasn’t true, I only said that because I was drunk and stupid. So the last thing I remember is he saying he couldn’t take it anymore and leaving. When I woke up, I felt ashamed of myself and went apologize to him. When I told him I was leaving, he started crying like I never saw him and begging me to still be friends. I packed my things and at the end he asked me why can’t we be only on a break instead of ending the relationship for good, but for me breaks don’t work. Here’s the part I can’t understand, he said if I want to get back together in a month or two, he’ll be wating for me and that we’re gonna get married because he loves me, I didn’t answered. We hug each other and his last words were “we’ll talk and see each other again”, I just said “I hope you find someone who makes you happy”. After that he changed is facebook relationship status to single, I felt it was very quick. After one month, I went to his facebook and saw that he was following a strange type of girls (almost naked on the photos), I was so mad that I sent him a text saying that I dind’t know him, he text me back with a “?” and I didn’t answered, he text me again asking me if he did something wrong, I only told him I had nothing to do with that, his answer was only “ok. bye.” It’s been almost 4 months since we broke up and we never talked again since that text, he completely disappeard, I already saw his friens several times but he’se never with them. I don’t understand, if he loved me that much why don’t he try to get back together? Or didn’t he love me? Why does he follow girls like that when he knows I can see and that makes me angry? He was right, we needed to be apart but now that everything is back to normal why don’t he try to contact me? The truth is I solved almost every problem and I’m a lot better now, but I still love him an miss him a lot, I just want to know if he feels the same and how is his life. We’re 18, I know we’re still young but we were best friends, we talked about everything and had a really strong relationship, I met his entire family, the only problem in the relationship, before the summer, is that we stopped hanging out with our friends. Please reply, I really have no idea what to do.

  5. @Kate…We know you have strong feelings for this man. And he has strong feelings for you. But see this from our perspective. The two of you constantly fight in hurtful ways. You break up, you get back together. One day you’re sure that you love him, the next, not so sure. It’s up, it’s down. Yes, some of this comes from maturity or lack of maturity and that’s where your ages come into play. However, relationships are as much about love as they are about timing. Maybe in ten years the two of you would be perfect for one another. But not now. You’ve both got a lot of growing to do. And we suggest you do that on your own. The fact is, that with all of your history, it’s going to be very difficult to restart this relationship. (We wish we could be more uplifting here. We truly do. And we know how hard this is for both of you. We’re sorry.) But honestly, sometimes relationships run their course. The two of you may be attracted to one another but you don’t make each other feel happy, and that’s the key to a successful relationship. What do you think? Thoughts? ps. We do hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz. Share on Facebook or other social networking sites. And take a moment to help a fellow reader. Please VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks!

  6. Hi guys,

    I posted on here a few months back, about my boyfriend hiding me ( can’t find the post, since I’m doing this from my phone) in that post I stated that he had a daugter, ex-wife who just finished school, and he went to prom with her.

    I confronted him about the prom-thing and we worked through every thing just fine. Ever since then we were doing okay, our relationship felt stable but 3 days ago he broke up with me.

    What happened was the silliest thing ever. My Blackberry’s service ran out and because we communicate via BBM a lot I needed to get my service activated asap. As I don’t have a car, I decided to walk to the store which is about 8 minutes away, to sort this out. Now he hates when I walk anywhere. Living in a country where crime is a bit high (south africa) I get his point he made me promise before that I wouldn’t do it, but I was in a pinch and went ahead.

    I told my sister, who is also friends with him that I was walking, since I didn’t want to hide it from him. While on the way home he texted me asking if I drove there with my brother… I honestly told him that I walked.

    He got pissed of at me and said because I broke a promise he thought we should just end it. I pleased and explained,over text, why I did it.
    1. I was in a rush
    2. I didn’t want to ask my brother since he’d just get irritated and refuse since the store is so close by.

    3. Before I met him, this was my way of going around. I don’t really like relying on people as it makes me feel as if I’m a burden; which is also why I didn’t just ask him to take me; he lives on the other side of town, and he has friends who do that, just use him as a way of transport.

    4. This is actually the big one: in the past he got irritated if I didn’t reply to his texts. I knew that if I had to wait to activate my BB, that he’d get pissed, I wanted to avoid it.

    He said its because I walked before and he forgave me and I did it again, again he forgave me and warned me yet I broke a promise. Now I can’t really recall this even so I’m not even sure about it, but whether I broke a promise once or twice, I get it. Its not a good thing to do.

    I pleaded with him for forgiveness and really I am sorry.I still feel guilty and it causing me not to sleep, have appetite and feel nauseous all the time.

    He continued to say that he can’t forgive me as it’d be unfair to all his exes: one cheated, his ex-wife did a bunch of crazy stuff, t like throwing her wedding band in his face and sending naked pics around, and the third girl I know of just left for another country mid-relationship without even saying anything.

    I really love him still and even though I made I mistake, I tried at least to be honest with him, even though hiding it would’ve help avoid this.

    He doesn’t want to hear my pleas, he said he lost all interest in me since breaking a promise means I gave up on him, or that I don’t care… he said he can’t stand me.

    Of course I went hysterical and tried my best to salvage our relationship. He told me ‘not now’ and that ‘ maybe God would open another door for me and he’d be standing there one day, but for now he wants to focus on his daughter, which by the way I never ever got in the way off.

    This guy was my first love and really he is my everything. I’m perfectly aware of what I did, but is it fair to treat me so harshly?

    Now he wants to be only friends, and he still texts me. Yesterday he asked me if I wanted to go out with him and friends on NYE. At first I thought no, since in my current state I don’t feel like people and what I do at the club, just stand there awkwardly, when 3 days ago he was my boyfriend and now he’s not? And I thought he was gonna focus rather his kid? Now he wants to party?

    I agreed since I hope I get to speak to him face to face. I don’t know what to say though. Yes, I want him back. I want to try to show him I can be better. But I’m scared of what will happen.

    Like I said, I can’t help this feeling that I want to redeem myself.
    The thing that confuses me is that he keeps acting like he cares, like he’d ask if I had eaten and then tell me to eat. Or he’ll tell me to try to nap at least since I don’t sleep at all now. Then he asks me to go with NYE?

    My question(s) thus is how do I approach him? What do I say? How do I win him back? I know he’s been hurt before and I’m willing to earn his trust, his love. I’m willing to really work for it… But how do I convince him of that?

  7. @Saki….Seriously? This is his issue not yours. Sure, you walked, but clearly he was looking for a reason to break up with you and he used your “breaking a promise” as an excuse. He should be the one apologizing to you. The crime doesn’t fit the “punishment.” Maybe he has the right to be upset, but this should have been a discussion that helped both of you understand the other person’s point of view. Instead he just ended it. Really? Ask yourself: Do you really want to be involved with someone who is trying to control your life this much? That’s exactly what’s going on, but instead it’s presented as your fault. You do realize this is typical behavior of a controlling person don’t you? Saki, you need to take a hard look at this relationship. If you two are to work this out, he needs to realize what he’s doing. Right now he has all the power in this relationship, and while you don’t mind it now, you’ll feel resentful at some point when you realize you can’t make any of your own decisions.

  8. Guys!
    I must be the stupidest person on this planet. I went out last night with him and at first it was terribly awkward. I didn’t know really what to say to him but eventually I got the courage, got him alone and we talked. And he told by just going out, talking to him every day I am showing him that I care and that I’m trying to prove myself to him. He also said he just needed time since he has been hurt by too many people before. I understand this very well.

    As the night went on though, we had a little bit too much fun, leading to us being a bit drunk, I think him more than me though. He dropped my sister of at home and since he had a long way to drive I decided to rather go with him, since I was scared he fell asleep behind the wheel or something.

    I know what it looks like though, me going to his place like that, but just as I was getting ready to sleep on the couch, he asked me to rather sleep next to him. At that moment it didn’t seem like such a bad idea, because let’s face it,I love him and I miss him a lot. We ended up having sex before we fell asleep and after we woke up.
    Yes, stupid move on my part. The thing is during he kept saying that he loved me and that he wants me to prove to him that I love him because he wants me as his forever.
    This morning though after this all, he took me home and I could sense somethings wrong. I texted him when I got home to thank him for inviting me out, and he said ‘sure, but I think we moved too fast’ and then, ‘I didn’t even know you were there when I woke up this morning’ That last text really hurt my feelings, but he was right about the moving too fast part. I know that.
    The thing is I was probably being used by him, but still he’s talking to me. He told me that I am winning his favor by talking to him still, and said that I won’t lose him if I just keep at it, he just needs time.
    I get the time thing, I just feel I’ve ruined any chance at winning him back because of last night. Neither of us were planning on it. But it happened and now this huge cloud is hanging over my head.

    I took your advice to heart and thought about our relationship and yes he is a bit controlling, but I also know he’s not a bad guy. He’s just someone who’s heart has hardened due to past experiences.
    I’m just scared the time thing means that he wants to get over me, but then he keeps texting me and even asked me to go with him next week when he gets a tattoo. All these mixed signals confuse me so much, andd this whole thing is starting to takes its toll on my health even… How do I know what’s really going on?

    Thanks so much!

  9. @Saki…..All this talk of having to prove yourself to him gives us the shivers. What about him proving himself to you? We hate to say it but we stick by our initial advice. This guy is controlling and we think he’s playing games with you. Last night he was feeling horny and he did everything he could to get you to sleep with him. But then he pretends like he didn’t know what he was up to. What is that all about? Honestly, we think no matter what you do he’s going to keep saying he needs more time and that you have to prove yourself to him. We’re just not seeing this going anywhere. We’re sorry, but that’s just how we see it based on what you’re telling us.

  10. Thank you so much. I still have a lot of feelings for him, as you have noticed but yet the hits keep on coming. Last night he told me he start having feelings for my sister on NYE, because she was playful and fun. My sister is playful when she’s drinking but otherwise a very cold person. I take this as my que to leave it all together, but I’m having an extreme hard time since I feel less and less adequate and even when I talked to my sister about it she said she’s not going to friendzone him for me, coz that’s choosing a side. I know what I have to do, but I’m finding it extremely difficult to pick myself up.thanks so much for your advice though.

  11. @Saki…..We’re sorry. This is really hard. And it’s easy from where we’re sitting to offer advice. But this guy is not the guy for you. Truly. He is quite the player, and he’s got a lot of nerve to talk about your sister. Try your best to move on.

  12. Thank you! I am moving on slowly but surely. My sister acted on impulse and actually wants to date him now. She told him she wants him. Lol This probably sounds like some badly written soap opera. I’m keeping busy now to avoid thinking about it too much.

  13. @Saki….Yikes. Well at least you know what’s up. Not sure what your sister is thinking? Hope the two of you can work this out. Sounds pretty complicated. But yes, move on. Good luck!

  14. Hi guys, I’m being caught in a really hopeless and helpless situation now and I really hope to receive a prompt reply ASAP. My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months back as he started to feel pressurized by relationship. Throughout these 2 months, we’re still in contact and have strings attached between us. Our situation has been on and off. He physically treats me like his girlfriend, yet makes it clear to me time after time that we’re just friends. My boyfriend constantly talked to new girls and always got busted by me, as much as he’s mad at me for invading his privacy he still eventually decided to give me reassurances. However, in my POV, I feel that he’s just giving me reassurances to stop my paranoia. As he has been pressurized by the fact that I doubt and throw him with questions every now and then. We used to be working in the same company therefore things were easier for us, no matter what went wrong between us everything will eventually turned out fine after we see each other at work. However, I’ve just lost my job recently. We can no longer see each other at work despite how bad things are between us now. My boyfriend used to be a guy who abhors going to clubs and all. But recently, he has been enjoying himself going to drink/clubs with his friends. He indirectly asked me to leave him alone because he feels suffocated with me knowing his whereabouts and all. Yet whenever I get bullied, he would stand up for me and protect me without fail. His family isn’t aware of our break up because we still have a vacation trip together with his family during June. I am confused, what I feel from my boyfriend and what I hear from my boyfriend are totally different. My boyfriend told me that his main issue is that he doesn’t want to get into a relationship yet, but he still build barriers between us even when all I asked for is to be “lovers without status”. What should I do? Does my boyfriend still feel anything towards me and will we get a chance to get back together again?

  15. @Kitty…..Are the two of you still having sex as well? Has it turned into a FWB situation or a booty call? Please answer and we’ll get back to you. It helps us understand the entire situation.

  16. Yes we did… But my boyfriend isn’t the kind who can bring himself to do it with just anyone, if you do get what I meant.

  17. @Kitty…..Honestly, it sounds like he wants to be free to do whatever he pleases, and see you when he feels like. Doesn’t sound like the best situation for you.

  18. Suzie-Q 72 // April 23, 2013 at 4:34 pm //

    Hi, I hope you can help even ease my broken heart 🙁 My BF and I have been together a year, ever since our first date we have been head over heals for each other ( or so, I thought) Almost three weeks ago, he had been coming home late, without calling me for the first 2 nights, and by the third night, I wanted answers, so I asked him why he didn’t call and if,something was going on. I didn’t yell or anything, and was actually quite calm about it and He blew up at me, told me I didn’t trust him, (he had a reputation of being a cheater)if I don’t trust him there is no relationship, and just broke it off with me. It had been three weeks and I finally decided to go and talk to him,
    he welcomed me in hugged me right away and I told him I missed him and he said he missed me too. I stayed for 4 hours and we just talked, I asked him if it was what he wanted and he would not answer me, we would talk about it and then we would talk about other topics, work, friends, etc…It was a good talk, I thought it ended well, he asked me come back, I asked him to call me, he said he would, he hasn’t called back and it’s been 6 days. I have called twice, but, he is terrible with the phone and I know that. Should I go back and talk to him or let this relationship go? I do love him and absolutely everything was fine the day before. He admitted he blew up for no reason and agreed that me expecting at least a phone call wasn’t too much to ask. Help! I am going nuts, I am soooo confused. We are in our 40’s, so this isn’t a high school fling, I felt we were so right for each other.

  19. @Suzie…..We’re sorry. We know this is really hard. So did you find out anything? Did you find out why he was coming home late? To us it seems like a classic case of: the best defense is a good offense. Meaning, he was doing something behind your back, but instead of admitting it, he lashed out and tried to reverse it all on you. That type of behavior in itself is a red-flag, above and beyond what he might have been up to. If you do get back together, do you think you’d be settling? Settling in the sense, you don’t totally trust him, but you try to convince yourself that it’s okay since you love him. If that’s the case, you definitely don’t want to do that. We think you need to think long and hard about this even if he does come back. And as far as that goes. The ball is in his court. Let him initiate contact.

  20. Hi,
    Im currently dating my bf of 8 years. however he recently moved out(4months ago) of our place, and into his own place. we were living together for 6 years. due to landlords ive had to now get my own place as well. He says we are still dating, even though we havent had sex in 6 months. He says he wants to mend things. We have had a very rocky past two years. He started going out every weekend (he never used to) and because I work shift work, I hardly went with him. His friends are younger than him (hes 33) friends are average age of 29 and all single. I told him that I started to get jealous of his friends because even on days/nights I didnt work, he still went out with them. we started to make an effort to do things just the two of us, but that didnt work. then about 6months ago, he brought home his buddies prescription drug that he was going to use. (pain-killers). Ive always told him from day one that I dont like drugs and that if he used I would question our relationship. He demanded them back, but while he was at work I flushed them. we have been fighting ever since. Am I wasting my time?

  21. @ABS……Yes. It’s been an uphill climb from the beginning. You started dating when you were young and he’s still acting like he’s 25, whereas you’ve matured and are looking for something more serious. Expect much of the same. Our take: Most relationships run their course. Sure sounds like this one has. Good luck. And we’re sorry.

  22. My boyfriend of a little over 9 months decided to tell me that he doesn’t know or think he could ever say “I love you”. He said that we had a really good relationship – no fighting, arguing or anything of that sort, and he couldn’t pinpoint anything that went wrong in the relationship and he sees me as more than a friend. We have gone on many vacations together, I have met his friends, coworkers and cousins, but never his parents and overall we were both happy. He said that he has been thinking about this since the 6 month mark and was “trying” to see if he could say those 3 words. He apologized profusely, kept saying that he didn’t want to hurt me, and even cried in front of me for the first time in our relationship. After some discussion and lots of crying, we decided with him reluctantly agreeing, to take a month long break with no contact and not dating other people to hopefully sort and figure out some feelings. I do love him, but never told him out of fear of scaring him away, but I don’t know if I should wait around for him to figure his feelings out and get my hopes up knowing that there is a possibility of him just walking away from this whole relationship. Is it possible that he might have a change of feelings in a month?

  23. @Carolyn……Thanks for your donation. We do appreciate it. Sure, anything is possible, but honestly, he’s had plenty of time to figure out how he feels and what he wants. And he’s taken the difficult step of telling you he’s not in love with you. We don’t see anything changing in the next month, or next year. Understand that guys usually know right away what kind of potential they see in a woman. She’s either: 1. Friend 2. FWB (They are physically attracted in some way, but that’s it.) 3. Has relationship potential. 4. Not interested at all. Sometimes a women might be so fun and interesting that a guy might give it a go for a while. But usually, if there isn’t some big initial spark, he’s going to decide he’s not interested. That’s what we think happened in your case. And ask yourself Carolyn. Do you really want a guy who has to figure out whether he’s into you or not? That sounds a lot like settling. You deserve much more than that. You deserve to be with someone who’s just as excited to be with you as you are to be with him. So our advice: Let yourself grieve, but move on. This isn’t going to change. Good luck. And take care. And DON’T SETTLE!

  24. Dear Guys,
    I’ll try to keep it as short as I can without leaving out the important parts, any advice and opinions are greatly appreciated!
    So I’m 23 and my boyfriend was 19. I am in my first semester of nursing school and he is a sophomore in college who also plays football. We dated and had a beautiful relationship for 9 months until all of a sudden, he felt that he no longer wanted to be in a serious relationship. There were no arguments lately, or any sort of issue at all. We were totally on the same page as far as seriousness of the relationship the entire time until lately when he’s had some extra added stress from football, school and feeling very homesick. We both were there for each other whenever things got rough and someone needed a rock to lean on. Again, out of nowhere, he felt that being alone and free was something he needed to do right now. After the initial shocker, I gave him space for a week to sort out his feelings. After a week, we sat down and had a very open, and honest talk about what was going on. Ultimately, it came down to the fact that he hasn’t really experienced being alone in college and that he was too young to be in a relationship like ours at the time. He said I am the right girl for him, but it’s just the wrong timing. He was very emotional during this and he just couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye easily. I respected him and didn’t try to argue back, or convince him to be with me because I understand everyone has to go through this in college or at some point in life really. He understood that he was taking a huge risk in losing me in the future, but he just “needs to do this right now”. My question is, do you think I am holding on to false hopes of him eventually getting tired of this “freedom” and being alone and maybe return to me? The relationship was not left on a bad note because I really want him to miss it/me and eventually realize what he had. I have no problem not texting or calling and staying strong in resisting the temptation to contact him, I’m hoping it’ll make him come around eventually. Do you think there’s any hope in him returning?

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