He asks ME to call HIM

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Hi Guys!

Thanks a lot for reading my message.

I met this good looking guy at a party before summer vacation. He asked for my number and my email before we said bye. Then he asked if I would call him. This question confused me, but I said yes. He never called me or anything.

One month later I sent him a friendly text message. He never replied. So, I didn’t do anything more. I saw him the first week of classes after the summer. I just said hi in a friendly way. Two days later I received an email. I replied 4 days later, but he never replied back. Then I saw him on a party a week ago. I said hi and we started talking. In less than 10 minutes, he asked if he could visit my lab at school. Also, he made plans to go the library with me, but again he asked me to call him or send him a message. Very directly, I told him, “I’m not going to do it because you don’t reply.” He said, fine he would call. Of course he never called or replied.

My instinct tells me to forget him. He seems not as interested as he appears to be when he sees me. I just need a confirmation please. Also, before I forget, a friend who knows him told me that he is shy, but I can’t believe this, because he starts hitting on me in less than 10 min. of the conversation.

Is he a pathological player or what?

Thanks again guys,


Dear Winterflake,

Thanks for you question.

Your instincts are right. This guy is a waste of time and energy. He might be attracted to you, but he’s not interested enough to do much about it. (And forget the whole shy angle. He’s not shy. He’s used to women coming after him.)

And let’s just say for some reason the two of you actually started dating. Can you imagine the frustration in dealing with someone who doesn’t communicate well? This guy doesn’t follow through, he doesn’t keep his word, and he’s complacent and apathetic.

We say, move on.

And oh, here’s a good general rule: Guys should be the ones pursuing AND calling. 

Good luck,


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2 Comments on He asks ME to call HIM

  1. I’ve read a lot of information saying you should wait to sleep with a guy if you want a relationship with him.
    The advice seems to suggest that men write women off who sleep with them too soon.
    1) What about hooking-up (ie, everything else but not sex). Is that more redeemable? Does hooking-up with a guy but not sleeping with him fall into a different category?
    2) How long are you supposed to wait before intimacy – assuming you want a relationship with the person.
    3)I recently met a man who couldn’t get it up when we were intimate and kept saying that he wished he could make love to me. We were naked in his bed and doing nearly everything. He wasn’t even a little bit hard he was completely flacid. He’s 49 and stated that “this always happens with new people but that he would not let me down the second time.” Is there a larger issue going on here?


  2. @marni….We’ve been answering this basic question a bunch recently. This was a recent comment that applies to your situation: “Many women think guys aren’t affected by feelings or emotions but we are. Don’t give his inability to get an erection a second thought. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the moment. He was feeling nervous, anxious, unsure at first, and all of those feelings stopped the blood flow cold.” He’s probably telling you the truth Marni. The next time he’ll feel less anxious and things should work properly. As far as when to have sex. We don’t prescribe to one official “Right Way” like some websites. Here are our basic rules to go by: Definitely don’t have sex on the first night. Probably not the second either. After that it all depends. Also, if a guy is really into a girl it almost doesn’t matter when the girl says yes to sex. Guys dump women they’re not into. “The sex too early reason” is just an excuse. Does this make any sense? ps. Hooking up is not more redeemable, especially oral, or anything below the belt. Any other questions? Feel free to ask away? Keep us posted as this progresses. ps. Please let your friends know about us. Thanks. We appreciate it.

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