I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven months. Our chemistry is great, and we understand each other’s needs very well. Over the last two weeks I’ve barely heard from him unless I text him first. His job is very demanding, so I’ve been very understanding.
A couple of days ago, out of the blue, he broke up with me because apparently he doesn’t know what to expect in the upcoming months. He says he might be moving away to his birthplace, and that lately he’s been too busy with work and has no time to see me, and that he wants to be single for now because of the uncertainty. I asked him if he was seeing someone else, and he told me he is not seeing anyone else. However, he wants to stay friends and he wants to see if in a couple of months he can made up his mind for what he really wants. I am so confused. I trust him completely but I don’t know whether this is a dead end for the relationship, or just a hold.
When a man cites uncertainty as a reason for breaking up he’s being honest. Your guy does have uncertainty in his life and on his mind, but unfortunately it’s not about his job, it’s about your relationship. And you. We’re not saying it’s over. (Hopefully it’s not.) But he’s having doubts about it and he’s using his busy life as an excuse to help buy him some time.
Think about it. When you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed do you push away all the people close to you, or do you hold them tighter? If he was 100% sure about your relationship, he’d be trying to figure out a way to include you in all the changes that are happening in his life. But he’s not doing that. Instead he broke up with you.
You might be wondering why he wants to stay friends? To us, this seems like an insurance policy, just in case he changes his mind, and realizes he’s made a mistake. That said, doubts don’t typically disappear. In a few months he might miss you and want to try again but those doubts will still be looming and will likely surface again at some point. What are they? We’re not sure. But clearly he’s questioning his feelings and commitment.
We think you need to sit him down and have a serious heart-to-heart talk. Ask him to tell you the truth, even if it might hurt. (The truth is always better than not knowing.) Find out what he’s thinking, feeling, what he wants. See if these doubts can be worked through. If he avoids the conversation, or dodges all your questions, or says he needs more time, well, that’s a truth in and of itself.
Let us know if you have any other questions. Leave the question or thoughts in the comments section below.
ps. We hope you’ll spread the word about us. Thanks. @TGPBuzz (Get more information from our short, fun and informative e-reports. Visit our e-report page..)