My boyfriend and I will be together officially two years in October. But we have had a lot of ups and downs starting with his flirting with females. I know guys flirt but I feel like he takes things too far especially when sex comes up. Sometimes he tells women that we are broken up when we are not. Well after confronting him about a situation with a chick he had sent a Facebook message to about going out to dinner he actually confessed to cheating with another female. (Somebody he met over the summer. He let her do a sexual favor on him and it hurt so much.) I packed my bags to leave but instead tried to sit and talk it out.
What should be done at this point? I love him
Thanks for your question. We’re sorry. Betrayal is painful.
You may love him, but the more important question is, do you trust him? Or rather, do you think you’ll ever be able to trust him again? It’s not like this is the first time he’s been deceitful. This has been a pattern of behavior since you started dating. And it’s likely this is not the only time he’s cheated. (This is the only time you know about.)
Cheating is the worst sort of betrayal, and the fact that he’s been exhibiting this kind of behavior since the beginning of your relationship doesn’t bode well for the future. Changing behavior is not easy. He has to be committed to change and then take steps to doing it. Telling you he’s changed isn’t enough. He’s got to show you. How? He should probably start seeing a professional—counselor and/or therapist—to talk about why he feels the need to cheat. And then do everything in his power to make this right, if that’s even possible. He’s got to stop the excessive flirting and make you feel like you’re THE ONE. Otherwise, you’re in for a miserable ride.
We hope you’re able to work through this. However, be careful not to compromise who you are to be with this guy. Don’t settle. You deserve to be with someone who respects you, and someone who is committed and trustworthy. Ask yourself if you really think you can build a life with this guy.
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