He hides our relationship

Dear Guys,

So I’ve dated this guy for a while now, and it’s been a known fact between us that he doesn’t want anyone to know we’re dating. I was fine with it for a while but it started bothering me. I try to get into conversations with him about it and ask him why he doesn’t want anyone to know, but he never really answers, he just changes the subject. I know I might just be acting sensitive but it kind of feels like he’s ashamed of being my boyfriend which hurts. I’ve asked my friends and they constantly say break up with him, while others say he’s just being protective. I doubt the latter since when his friends or other guys flirt with me, he just stands there and acts like it’s not happening. Why does he act the way he does and should I break up with him?

June

Dear June,

Thanks for writing. We haven’t seen this type of situation in a long time. We can see how this would be hurtful to you. We’re sorry.

Unfortunately we don’t have good news for you. We can’t think of any positive reason he would want to hide this relationship. When people are happy to be with someone they typically want to tell the world. Sure, sometimes people hide things from their parents if they know they might not approve, but they certainly wouldn’t hide it from their friends.

As far as him being protective, it’s unlikely. That really doesn’t make any sense to us. Protective from what? If he was being protective he would be acting completely the opposite. He would want EVERYONE to know because he’d be claiming his territory. If he was being protective he wouldn’t let you leave his side, and he wouldn’t want other guys to talk with you or interact with you. (That wouldn’t be good either.)

June, we like to give answers that help people figure things out for themselves, but we don’t see this relationship going anywhere, and frankly it doesn’t sound like it’s good for your self-esteem. You need to take care of yourself, and make sure the relationships you pick boost your self-esteem, and energize, and empower you, not make you feel worried and insecure.

We hope this helps you put things into perspective.

Good luck and keep us posted.

THE GUYS

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50 Comments on He hides our relationship

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for a few weeks. His previous relationships lasted less than 2 weeks and he says he didn’t even hugged his past girlfriends in public.He holds my hands and kisses me in public but he doesn’t want anyone to know about us, especially our parents. He says he needs to fix issues with the university first so his parents won’t blame those issues on me. The thing is, he will transfer next semester to another university. When I asked him if he would visit me after the transfer but he said it was too early to think on that. Does he only want a relationship with me that lasts one semester? Should I wait until he finally fixes those issues?

  2. @Rose…..Honestly, it seems quite early to be worrying about next semester. Our advice to you would be to enjoy the present and see how it goes. Two weeks is a very short time. You’ll probably have a much better sense of where the relationship is headed in a month or two. And you’ll also have a better sense of how you feel, and whether you want to stick it out or not. If you still have questions at that time, check back with us and we’ll give you some feedback. Sound like a plan? Until then, have fun!

  3. Hi all, so my boyfriend and I met at college last year and started dating in May of last year. Everything was great I met his family eventually and he met mine. Come November we got into a constant argument over something so irrelevant but it ended things for a good 3 to 4 months but we stayed in contact. Come May of this year he came home from college and we started fully seeing eachother again. However in the time that we’ve been fixing things he has yet to tell his parents we are back together and to his sister he denies me. I believe that when we argue he results to her for moral support because he doesn’t have anyone to give him advice about us. To his sister she says he wants to move on and says I bug him but his sister has never been a trust worthy person to anyone in fact she’s screwed me over several times. But I know that his parents yet to have known about me since the split last year in November. What should I do about this? I love him and he loves me but I don’t know how to react.

  4. @AJ…..Sounds like he’s conflicted. Maybe he wants to wait and see what happens between the two of you? Or maybe he’s just viewing this as a summer fling and he’ll break up when he heads back to college in the fall? Whatever it is, he’s got one foot in and one foot out. You can either talk to him, and tell him how his actions make you feel, or you can just go along with things as they are. Obviously if you talk to him, it could backfire and he might decide he doesn’t want to be with you. Or you might get to a better place with your relationship. On the flip side, if you don’t talk to him you’re going to feel how you feel now. Frustrated. Upset. Uncertain. Insecure. It’s your call. ps. Please let your friends know about us. And check out our e-reports on the seven most frequently asked questions. Thanks.

  5. So I’ve been with my bfs for 13 months. We practically do everything together. However he keeps me and his friends separate. I’ve never meet his best friend but he knows of me. Yet I know nothing of him. He goes at to party’s and never asked if I would like to tag along. I do however have a curfew but still a “would you like to go” would be nice. His parents still don’t know in his gf he just says “they haven’t asked”. He won’t say we’re together unless someone ask. I feel insecure that maybe his ashamed of me?

  6. @Juana…..How old are you? Do you live with your parents? How old is he?

  7. @All the Women out There…….We’d love to hear your thoughts on The Perfect Guy? Leave a comment, a description or respond to someone else’s comment. Let’s have a conversation.

  8. Lonely on the coast // October 6, 2016 at 5:32 am //

    Hi Guys,
    I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year now – on and off. We were coworkers and both went through breakups around last summer. We started seeing each other after that. Things were electric, until he started talking to his ex again. We cooked off for a month and a half. Everything picked right back up where we had left off – but was still seeing his ex until last spring. Now he doesn’t want me seeing other people and is pursing a full commitment with me, so he says. I have found him texting other women and he does not take pictures and post them on social media. I feel las if I’m being played the fool. It’s hard for me to see through the BS when I’m living with him and can see he’s spending his time with me. However, I’ve become insecure and doubtful when he’s on his phone or says he’s going somewhere that takes longer than it should. He has stated that he is wary of completely committing because of my baggage, but if this is the case why wouldn’t he just casually date instead of being in this relationship that no one knows about? Mind you I have met some of his friends. I just feel that if he was as serious about us as he says he wouldn’t care what others think. Example: my birthday was last night and he’s a big picture taker. He took pictures of our food and even if me but not one of the two of us. Plus, these pictures were only shared with my friends and family. I love him dearly and I want to pursue this relationship. I just don’t want to end up hurt.

  9. @Lonely on the Coast…..We’d like to help you figure this out but we need a little more info. When you said he was seeing his ex, does that mean he was dating her? When did you start living with him? What do you mean by your baggage? Why do you think he’s hiding the relationship? Is there something we’re missing? How old are you? Him? Are you the same religion/ethnicity? Please fill us in a little more.

  10. I with him been a year, I know he really been busy with work, he always tell me where he going whenever I ask, I know he telling me the truth because I know when I call him. I go his place once in a week or twice. But he don’t tell any of his friend we are in relationship. Is he dating another girl while dating with me?

  11. @Wenssey……That’s difficult for us to say. However, it’s not a great sign that he’s hiding your relationship. Why is that do you think?

  12. Hi, My boyfriend and i were going great for about 3-4 months but then we kept fighting and we ended it multiple times. We are currently together but its a lot different… He doesn’t hug/kiss me in front of anyone and we barely talk. He makes stupid excuses or says it feels weird to hug me yet when were alone he’s all over me? Also when i try to call him he says hes busy or that I’ve offended him (in a supposedly joking way) and hangs up. I really love him but i don’t know if i can stay anymore. and even if i do leave i know it’ll be really hard to move on.. help??

  13. @Anon……This sounds hard. Honestly, he’s acting like a guy who’s mainly in it for the sex. That would explain why he’s all over you when you’re alone, but after he gets what he needs he doesn’t treat you well when he’s not with you, or doesn’t want to be intimate. (Hugs/Kisses) And then the cycle repeats. We’re sorry. What are you actually getting from this relationship?

  14. I think I went on a date??? We flirted a lot and got close over the summer. He moved and I came to that state on separate business it we set a day aside to see each other. We planned on skydiving, but it didn’t pan out so he said we’d do something else. We went off-roading and were out all day. Did the things he loves, listening to country, driving around in his jeep, it was a cool day. He went out of his was to drive me home -2 hrs from himself. BUT I like to snapchat and he didn’t want me to get us in the video when he told me to snap from his phone. Also I had to use the bathroom at his house and after coming from NY to NC to see him not just my sister as well, but still very much for him he didn’t want his parents to meet me whom he had AT THE CERY LEAST became friends with and worked with since April and had been talking to since. Was it a date? And also after that day he cut of all communication- no reason not nothing. Why? Because he didn’t wanna hide me anymore?

  15. @Vicky…..Sounds like a date. Did anything physical happen? And where do you stand now? Any communication at all? (Also: When you say you got close over the summer. Do you mean physically as well?)

  16. This guy we’ve been together for a year now but he have never ask me out to be his girlfriend. He gets jealous when I talk to other guys, tells me he like me and that I am too good for him. He has not introduce me to anyone in his family besides his father because they live together. We are not friends on Facebook. I cannot look at his phone. He seems very secretive about it. We took a photo together with my polariod and he said he will keep it with his sisters pictures but I found it hiding behind one photo the next day. I have not confront him about this but it really hurted my feelings finding out photo behind another one. What should I do?

  17. I’ve been talking to this guy and we’ve gone on dates before but whenever he’s with his friends he acts like he doesn’t even know me. I’ll call him when he’s with his friends, and he’ll say he’s always busy and before I can say anything he’ll hang up. He told me he loves me but he never wants to be seen around with me and it really hurts to know that. When we’re alone he’s always all over me and pays attention to me. He gets mad if I talk to other guys and he does tell them to back off so I’m a little confused. He’ll ignore me when he’s with his friends and family but when a guy talks to me he finally acts like we’re in a actual relationship. He doesn’t want to be seen with me when he’s with his friends. What should I do? I feel like a fool when he does this to me.

  18. @Esme…..You’re right to feel confused, hurt, and angry. So is there some sort of reason you can pinpoint for why he’s acting this way? For example: Big age difference? Cultural difference? Socio-economic difference? Ethnicity? Educational? Fill us in and we’ll get back to you. (If you want to do this privately, consider our Ask a Private Question option. Yes, there’s a fee, so read testimonials on our Relationship Coaching/Advice page.) If not, we can provide some feedback here in the comments. Let us know or get back to us with your responses to our questions.

  19. WhenYou'resemifamous // August 13, 2017 at 10:23 pm //

    Hello Guys!
    My question is sort of on the same lines as this thread. My boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We have a lot in common, we’re both goofballs, he loves my daughter as his own, whatever. However, due to his job (professional sports), he doesn’t like other people, aside from his family, to know of our relationship. Normally I handle it fine because it doesn’t matter, but we just got into a heater argument about me telling a mutual friend about our date(which was great, no complaints) . He lost his cool and implied that if I was to do it again, he’d leave me. I dont want to lose him, but I feel like my life is a lie. Help?

  20. @WhenYou’resemifamous……What you need to figure out is WHY he’s hiding you. Meaning, he says it’s because of his line of work, but is that really the case. (It may be. It may not be.) What are some other reasons he could be hiding you? 1. He could have other relationships going on. 2. He doesn’t see you as someone he wants to get serious with so why tell anyone……..That said, what does he say is the reason he doesn’t want people to know? What did the argument look like? Seems to us that he’s pretty quick to move on. That’s not a good sign. We’d say that it’s more important for you to live an authentic life and have an authentic relationship, than to be hidden away from the world. What do you think? Before you do anything you have to be ready for what could happen. Which means, you have to be okay with him leaving if you push the issue. Are you?

  21. I have been in a relationship for three years with a guy who even proposed unofficially to me. Yet, he hides me. I can understand hiding from his parents if they are hard on him. However, he hides me from everyone in his life – his friends, co-workers, and anyone he even barely knows. I can’t wrap my head around the secrecy. He runs out of the room when he receives phone calls from anyone. He won’t even leave his phone next to me unless it is locked. He doesn’t even want a wedding because he doesn’t like people to look at him. He wants to marry at the Secretary of State (whenever that is… he won’t tell me if this is next year or five years from now) and quickly move to a remote area with me. He won’t even take pictures together.

  22. @Princess……Sounds pretty tough. Obviously you’re not okay with his behavior. (Nor should you be.) Not only is this behavior odd, it’s also rude and disrespectful. And FYI: When a man is truly in love with a woman, all he wants to do is tell the world. He wants to show her off. And he definitely wants to introduce her to his family and friends. In general, he wants everyone to know that she is his. He’s doing the opposite and that’s not a good sign. Be careful. Seems like you might be compromising just to to be with this man. So what do you think? What do your friends say? Do you have a specific question?

  23. Thanks for the reply.

    First, I wonder if he actually plans to marry me or if he is just confused. He can’t provide a timeline at all as to when this will occur.

    He blames his family for this issue, citing that he has a dysfunctional family. Yet, his younger brother just married a woman that the family didn’t even like and the wedding passed with no issues.

    He goes out of his way to make sure that there are no written records of us being together. If we do an activity where the two of us have to sign something, either I have to sign or he signs, but never both.

    He won’t buy me a ring because he says that he can’t do it until he resolves the family issues (that he admitted are mostly in his own head), and because he says that marriage must come immediately after I get the ring. Because the family issues are mostly in his head, I have no way of knowing when or if these will be resolved.

    He is FAR to old to let thoughts of what his parents may or may not say about his relationship affect him to the degree in which it has… He is turning 43.

  24. @Princess…….He’s 43 and worried about what his parents think!!??? Are we missing something here? Has he always been single? Is there a religious or ethnic or age difference component here? (Not that that should make much of a difference, but it might explain a little.) But if we’re being totally honest here, sounds like you’re going to have to compromise quite a lot to be with this man, even more than you are now.

  25. @Princess…..ps. How did you meet? How old are you?

  26. Thanks for the reply.

    We met at a restaurant. We are of different ethnicities, but we addressed that early in the relationship and he said that it didn’t matter. His brother even married someone of a different ethnicity.

    I think that the thing that bothers me the most is that I am 34 years old. He keeps saying that he has no idea when we will get married while ignoring the fact that my glamorous years will soon run out. I addressed this with him, and pretended to not have a clue why the age of marriage would even matter to me. It doesn’t matter as long as he can give me a potential date. If he said “I am planning to marry you at some point within the next six years”, that would be okay. However, he is avoiding giving me any time limit at all. I’m just supposed to stay with him until whenever he decides and if he doesn’t decide, then I’m supposed to date again at 50 and hope that someone marries my pathetic old self at that time. I explained this to him and he didn’t see anything wrong with that either. He just says “people get married at many ages”.

    I just want to know what is going on.

  27. @Princess…..Obviously you know him better than we do. And we’re not mind readers so we don’t know exactly what he’s thinking. That said, doesn’t seem like he’s making an awful lot of excuses for not stepping up to the plate? Do you think that’s going to change anytime soon? Might it be time to start putting yourself out there again? Just wondering. What do you think?

  28. Hi guys,
    I have been dating this guy for a bit over a month now and he says he doesn’t want people to know we are dating because of what they might say if the relationship doesn’t work out. I tell him I can’t be sneaking to and from his place like we are having an illicit affair. But he is sticking to his guns about this. He also doesn’t trust me because he is always doubting my words and actions saying women are pretentious.
    I’m confused..Is he just playing me or could he be very insecure about relationships because I don’t want to go on like this.

  29. @Yetunde…..Seems like you have a pretty good sense as to what’s going on but just need some confirmation. As we always say. There is no good reason for a man to hide a relationship. He’s either embarrassed. Or he’s got something else going on. Like he’s hiding something.. (Other women.) And if he is insecure, that shouldn’t come as a relief. Insecurity, is a way to hide embarrassment. We’re sorry. Remember: Don’t settle for a man who doesn’t respect you or the relationship. If he was way into you he’d be telling all his friends and letting everyone know. Guys like to “claim” their woman when they feel happy. It’s a way they get respect, and for many guys, it’s all about respect. Make sense?

  30. Thanks for replying. It makes a lot of sense now. Thanks a lot.
    Is there any way I can let go of the relationship without blowing things up? Should I just fade away?

  31. @Yetunde….Well, how it goes is up to you. Honestly, we’d probably just let if fade. We don’t see the point of calling him out. He’s not going to get it anyway, and that’s just going to stress you out. (Something you don’t need. And it’s not like you’ve gone out for a year or more.) If/when he calls you again, just calmly tell him that you’re no longer interested. FYI: It’s possible that once he realizes you’re no longer interested that he’ll promise to change. Be careful. Our advice: He told you how he wanted this to go. Now it’s time to trust your gut.

  32. Thanks a lot. Really appreciate you guys

  33. @Yetunde……Of course. You’re welcome. Come back anytime. ps. Be on the lookout for our book, soon to be on Amazon. It’s basically a book giving women a glimpse into the male mind when it comes to relationships. Please spread the word. Thanks. 🙂

  34. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. He’s divorced, a single father, and has two kids which I’ve met and are around often.
    Recently while in the car together, he received a phone call from a family friend (no ulterior motive detected on her end. I know who she is). The conversations started with business talk, until the person on the other end inquired about his relationship status. Upon being asked about his status, he replied “he’s waiting, and WHOEVER it is will have to understand his hectic schedule”. He said this while I was in the car with him. I feel like he totally denied me to my face. When I confronted him about it, he stated that he didn’t tell her because she’s nosy. The nosy part, I can agree to, but he could’ve at least told her that he was in a relationship without disclosing WHO he was in a relationship with. No; he denied the entire relationship. It hurts, and makes me question everything.

  35. @Cecil….We can understand why you’re hurt by what he said and DIDN’T say. And yes, it would have been nice if he had declared that he was in a relationship. But think about this. The fact that you were in the car supports his explanation. Why? Because he knew he was telling her a lie and he knew that you would hear the lie. So is he a mean, deceitful person who would try to hurt you by sending you such a message? Or is he a private person who doesn’t want to deal with a nosy friend? Meaning, he knew he was denying you, which means he knew you would question him about it. Which makes it seem to us that he’s telling you the truth. Of course, you know him better than we do. Ask yourself what kind of person you think he is and then decide. ps. Check out our new ebook on Amazon. Click the banner on our site.

  36. Hi.. I’m just curious what your guys’ take is on relationships and social media. I dated a guy for several months. I am 33 and he was 26. When we were first dating he didn’t accept my fb friend request for like a month.. I let it go but then over the course of our relationship he was very careful to not post it publicly that he was dating. Not pictures together, nothing. There were some other things as well, girls commenting on his pics asking when they were going to hang out, and he had a Snapchat account which I’ve never been on and didn’t see whatever he did on there.. finally this past week I started an IG acct after not having one for quite a while, and his account was private but I requested to follow him. He ignored my request for several days even tho I know he went on his IG daily..finally I confronted him about it today and he was very defensive saying I just wanted to snoop etc. But accepted my request. Then blocked me on it. So I locked him out of my house. He broke up with me. I just assumed after dating for this long it shouldn’t be that big of a deal and people should be transparent with their social media accounts in a relationship..

  37. @Michelle….Our take? It’s not anything specific to social media. Meaning, anyone, or any guy, who is in a meaningful relationship, one he is committed to, would likely be open on social media. Meaning, social media is a reflection of the relationship, and a reflection of the guy. In your case, whether it’s social media or not, your guy is a player, or at least he was with you. We are sorry, but clearly he was not as ALL IN as you were. So if your gut was telling you something was wrong, then you were spot on. We’d advise you to listen to your gut and use social media as a good barometer for your next relationship. That said, a guy isn’t going to introduce you to his world through social media in the first month. It might take a few months. Does this help? ps. For more practical information about guys, dating, relationships, you might want to check out our ebook on Amazon. Inside your Guy’s Mind. And if you do, please give us a positive review!!! 🙂 Thanks.

  38. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 2, 2019 at 11:06 pm //

    If a guy has been around a girl for 6 years. and out in public he never holds her hands or kisses, at least not in front of me (I am his friend) and even most of the other friends seeminly don’t know for sure. she has had a ring on her finger for a few months, never him. only in recent times has she seen his family. and she his. a family member recently made a post using his last name as both of theirs, but the stauts says “in a relationship” not engaged. I even saw them the day after, and he wasn’t wearing the ring, and it the only one in any pictures of hers period. nothing in the past 4 years is he really holding hands, or doing anything to make anyone know for sure. I can exlain more later, but I am curious what this might meat

  39. @Paul……We’re not quite sure what you’re asking. but we’ll give it a shot. Typically men do NOT wear engagement rings. They only wear a wedding band once they’re married. (Some don’t even do that.) So you won’t be able to tell the status of their relationship by whether or not he has a ring on. Make sense? So, tell us about her ring. Is it a diamond ring? They usually are, but don’t necessarily have to be. Question: Is this woman someone you have an interest in? If so, does she have a sense of that?

  40. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:08 pm //

    Well, I had a whole thing typed out before but was limited to 1500 characters. But I was going to tell you that the guy is what I consider a cassanova, can get any girl he wants, is exotic looking, knows women better than they know themselves, and they will go to him. I have been basically the opposite, I have a difficult time even getting anyone even though I am known as being super nice, kind, a genuine gentlemen. And he has always tried to help me get a girl. we play sports together and have for many years. about 10 years ago or so, one day he asked me if there was anyone I Liked, I chose a girl. she liked me, thought was nice. I asked her to join us after (as often that is something we or others do). she was hesitant. then he went to ask here and she did it without flinching. during dinner, it certainly appeared he was trying to get her to like me and get her interested. but she was chasing him constantly , she was totally attracted to him. They would always show up together at many things, and for a few years, she was definitely sounding like she thought he would marry her or tried to get him to do so, but he always told me and others they were just friends. never showing anything in public. and he had a gf at the time. said he just liked her kids because they loved him so much

  41. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:09 pm //

    and I don’t doubt that. she truned out to be a owman scorned, and a nutcase who stalked him, and even harassed me when she found out about the gf, who I believe isn’t there anymore, but all the time he would say maybe she thinks we are together, but we are not. And like a woman scorned she acted crazy, stalked him, harassed him, probably she could have been a sociopath or narcissist (as I dealt with a girl 3 years ago that seemed almost exactly like her in so many ways, even to the mannerisims) that turne out to be so in a sense I am thankful I dind’t win up ever seeing her. But she harassed me too and interrupted a holiday dinner I was at making it not as fun. But one thing was he eventually went to her family’s summer outings and stuff, but always claimed or tried to make it seem like it wasn’t like that even though everyone was pretty sure they were together.
    Fortunately she is out of the picture for a long long time. Of course now thinking back, even though he is my friend he may have totally been playing her the entire time and partly why she went so berserk.

  42. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:10 pm //

    Than about a year or less later, maybe 2. Not sure. There was a different girl, it was almost exactly the same way things again. We played our sport, there was a girl we hand’t really seen before ,he could tell I liked her. She didn’t seem like his type as he can get 10s left and right and so forth. I am pretty sure over the years I know he never had an interest in getting married. So I ask her to join us, get a no even though she thought well of me so he went to ask her, she shows up in 2 seconds. This one just from the body language from day 1 was literally following him around like a puppy dog.

    But he was from all perspective appearing like he was trying to get her to like me by the questions he was asking. And for many weeks even months even I would say a year or more after the intial contact, he acted , at least like to me that yeah she was hanging out with him but that he was really trying to get us together. For example, he would leave the table for 10 minutes where the place had some games on computer screen he knew we would both like. But he whispered to me after she was asking, wait where is he going why is going “shh don’t tell her why” as if to say he is trying to get me to think he is trying to get us together.

  43. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:11 pm //

    Abut over time, and it has been probably over 6 years now I think. He is always with her. When they show up. She goes with him to things. I know tey go and see movies together. I know they go to sports bar/resturants together, and he always takes her to things where they are both invited, although a lot of us know a lot of the same people and met all together thorugh the sport we play. So it is hard to say. I do know at least 3-4 years ago one of her longer time friends said “they have a really weird relationship” and sounded like because they never show it to anyone. I am willing to bet she wants to but I am sure because she is the one pursuing him so much more, or was, that he probably dictates how it is done more. And I am pretty sure in the first 4 years at least I don’t think he ever saw her family and vice versa. Albiet I do think because she is so darn nice, so genuine, so good to everyone, not one bad bone in her, and how amazing she is, I do think he does actually care about her. One of my buddys did once wind up seeing them hold hands in a place they thought nobody would see them. And didn’t say anything. but all these years even after all this. He has been to many of her family’s thing very often, spending time with them and I know she has spent at least some time with some of his.

  44. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:11 pm //

    But in all 6 years I have never,not once EVER seen them hold hands, kiss, or anything where any or all of us are around. And I have seen them many many times and spent many hours with them. He also seems to be in very very few photos and in the ones I have seen they aren’t holding hands either.

    I do know one of her siblings a year ago when I happened to see them and met them all, she said something about marriage and my friend seemed to say something non chalante or joke about it or whatever. Also they don’t live together.
    It seems everyone knows they are together but like I said they never ever show any pda at all. But I am willing to bet she would actually like that.
    So I would say about 5-6 months ago or less I did notice a ring on her finger. I don’t know if it is a diamond. But it appears to be at least some sort of jewelry but yet, neither of them ever said anything, ever about being engaged. I also never ever once ever heard him use the term girlfriend referring to her.

  45. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:13 pm //

    Well some of this is hard to know for sure, like I don’t know if maybe if I am around he doesn’t want me to know that totally even though he knows I know but won’t admit it because maybe he feels guilty about this whole thing? I mean honestly I don’t mind, as she clearly loves him and was going to not stop in order to try to get him. And I know if she loves him that much I won’t get jealous or anything. it is what It is afterall, but yet, it is driving me crazy trying to figure this out even though they are around me so much. I don’t think I have even ever hears any of their other good friends even when they are not in the room use the trem girlfriend. He always sayd “we did this, we did that , we are going to…” or she, or uses her name. never “my girlfriend and I, or my signi other and I’ or “my future wife and I’ nothing of the sort. And she doesn’t use those words either. No holding hands when they know people are there. No kissing. They barely touch. Maybe once ina blue moon something very very light at the best.
    But even when she started wearing this ring, she never said, nor did eh ever say to me at least they got engaged or anything. they didn’t even bring it up. I just noticed it. I am under the impression that her and/or her family are probably trying to push him to making it official.

  46. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:14 pm //

    Yet, also her social media says simply “in a relationship” not “engaged” which btw, as I mentioned at the beginning how he for a year to year and a half made me think he was stil trying to set us up. Well I finally went back one day to look at the date next to the in relationship status and it was only 2-3 weeks after we all met. He has absolutely no social media accounts whatsoever. And he told me in the past he won’t because girls wouldn’t leave him alone and cause him problems.
    I think also very recently saw her sibling state their last name as the same, and he was wearing a band in that picture but I saw them 2 days after and he wasn’t wearing it. and I think she may have been wearing both. I think. Not really sure.

    But it is driving me nuts. I mean, no matter what, he is outside of these types of things a very good person who does a lot of things to try and help me, and they even together attempt to help me. But still. It is very odd. But again nobody says nothing.

    I guess I am trying to assess what others may think is going on here, and I don’t know if there is something fishy going on .

  47. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 4, 2019 at 2:22 pm //

    so I guess I am wondering if all this means he is stringing her along, and doing just enough in front of whoever he needs to keep her going or if he is stalling for strinign along, or if he is actually going to really truly make her happy and him maker her happy. I would hate to see them get into some world war three kind of fight at some point because they are both very good loyal friends and I would hate to see that happen.

  48. @Paul……Thanks for filling us in. We’ll do our best to answer your question here in the comments section, but we’ll be honest. We just don’t have the resources to address the breadth of your question properly. So we’ll apologize in advance. But here goes. Reading between the lines, it seems you’re asking whether or not they’ll end up together, and whether or not she might be open to you. No? Yes? Well, it’s hard to say what we’ll happen with them. Maybe he’s a nice guy, but he certainly seems like he’s not interested in settling down, and he might very well be a straight-up player. Or playah. If we were betting men we’d say they won’t end up staying together. That said, our advice to you would be to decline his offer for “help” in the future and separate yourself from him when pursuing a woman/relationship. Clearly he’s an impediment to you even if he doesn’t mean to be. We might suggest trying some different avenues for meeting women that don’t necessarily involve sports. Like a book club, social club or some other type club or activity. More intellectual avenues rather than athletic.
    FYI: To us this discussion seems much more suited for our private service. Not trying to sell you on that, but since you seem to have bigger question involving women, relationships, etc. you might want to consider it. (Read comments/testimonials on our Relationship Coaching/Advice page.) Hope we were able to help a little.

  49. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 5, 2019 at 2:14 pm //

    One of the guys, thank you very much. actually I realize I had quite a lengthy discussion, but I wanted to try and be as descriptive as possible and it is apparent you understood what I was trying to get at.
    I had been seeing so many sites/videos of x number of signs he will never marry you, or x number of signs he is playing you, or x number of signs he is striging you along. many of them , not all, did mention some of these thing, however this was a bit different.
    actually, he still does try to help me with women, and her as well or keys to being better. however, since he is techicnally with her in many ways, he isn’t going to just date them. I do think both were probably unintentional.

  50. Paul Jospeh Ingle // January 5, 2019 at 2:19 pm //

    Oh yeah, and yes. I was thinking just recently. the next time, once he is single again and we proceed I will decline it, or if he insists I will actually tell him. ok, now listen. the last 2 times you did this they fell for you and you wound up dating them. So if you are going to be of real help, you are going to have to simply tell this person “I know you like me, but my friend is interested in you and I set this up because I want him to be happy, so don’t pursue me”
    btw, I don’t recall if I had mentioned he had finally what appeard a band on his fingr in the latest picture (with her family in it) but he wasn’t wearing it last night at all. probably did it mainly for them to stay off his back. He is a very good guy and does care about me, but I do think with women he was a player for a long time and probably can’t turn it off .

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