He joked about a threesome

Dear Guys,

A guy friend texted me this: “Would u beg to have sex with me and my friend( a guy)?”

So I pissed and replied, “No, ur gross.”

Then he replied, “Ha ha, I was just joking; we were betting on what u would say.”

OMG, what a douch isn’t he?

So I took a photo of the text and spread it out on Facebook and sent it to some of his friends .

He discovered I did this and he was soo mad at me. He texted me like, “What u did was very spiteful, ur an evil person, i treated u like a friend, is this how u respond blahblah’

But he did wrong at first right?

Z

Dear Z,

Thanks for your question.

What he did was inappropriate. (That’s us saying it nicely, and being politically correct) We don’t think he was joking around. We think he was putting out feelers—no pun intended—to see if you might be interested. Because we bet his response would have been quite different if you had been amenable to the idea. This is not the way friends treat one another.

But for kicks, let’s say he was joking around. Frankly, this shows a severe lack of judgement. Having a threesome is not the kind of thing you joke around about, at least in a text. We could see this possibly happening at a party, where people are kidding around about stuff, and a comment about a threesome flows naturally with the tide of the conversation. But not a random, out of the blue, text. Not okay.

Which brings us to your response. Yes, he committed the first wrong, but you may have taken it a bit too far. Although we wouldn’t worry about it too much; we doubt he will see any sort of long term affects from this. And it might actually teach him not to send demeaning and hurtful texts unless he wants the world to witness his actions. (Maybe he didn’t send you an illicit picture, but a person needs to be careful these days what they send out into the world. Who knows where it might land?) So yes, maybe next time you can take a deep breath before you have a knee-jerk response, but considering the circumstances of what he did, we can’t blame you for being upset.

Your thoughts? Leave us a comment or a follow up question in the comments section below. And let us know if we can answer any other questions for you in the future.

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THE GUYS

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Other questions about sex/threesomes: 

Is a guy able to have a relationship with one woman without getting bored?

He talks about having sex with my friends

Showing too much love to my sister

 

4 Comments on He joked about a threesome

  1. Hey guys,so i was fwb wth ths guy 4 lyke a month or so,..i decided i didnt want to be an fwb anymore i wanted us to change our relationship to a booty call (contact each only when we want sex)but he said no, and broke off the whole fwb arrangement we had gng, my question is, why would a guy do that?did i mss somethng? plus i want him back but i dont want to contact him first, what should i do?

  2. @Grace…We responded in the other post. (I slept with my virgin friend; bad decision, and now I feel badly) Read over there.

  3. Chelsea // June 16, 2013 at 1:49 pm //

    This question sort of pertains to guys wanting different things from females (such as a 3 some haha)… But i’m the one that wants it.

    I started dating this guy about 6 months ago. He’s an awesome guy, loves my son more than anything, and treats me like a princess. Our sex life is quite amazing, something I didn’t expect when I started dating him. He’s not the most.. experienced guy to say the least. I by no means sleep around, but when I am with a guy… I like to experiment. Through experimenting with my last boyfriend, I have found that I’m quite different than a lot of females.

    I. Love. Anal.

    And I don’t mean like it’s something I want every single day, but switching it up every now and then is fun and exciting. And dear lord, talk about enjoyable. I don’t know how girls complain that it just “hurts too bad” and they can’t handle it. Is it painful at first? Sure but once you get through the beginning, it’s like nothing you’ll ever experience. My problem is my new boyfriend… Not as kinky. He’s never had anal & I have a feeling is never going to want to… I haven’t openly had a conversation with him about my preferences, because I’m too scared that he’ll be freaked out. We’ve had casual conversations about anal sex and whether or not it’s something we’ve ever done.. But whenever I even start to hint at wanting to do it with him, he gets kinda weird and shy and changes the subject.

    I love my boyfriend and I would never break up with him over this… But come onnnn man, I shouldn’t be begging for anal, it should be the other way around haha! (Or usually is I feel).. How do I bring up the subject to him to see if he would be interested in attempting it without freaking him out? I’m nervous that due to his lack of “experience” I’m going to creep him out.

    But what can I say.. A girl likes what she likes.

  4. @Chelsea…..You’re right. Most guys only dream of having a woman as “open” as you about experimentation. You say that you love this man and this wouldn’t be a deal breaker. That’s good. But is this a theme with him? Meaning, is he scared of trying new things in general? You certainly don’t want a guy who’s unwilling to “go there” with you, whatever that may be. As per your question specifically. Stop talking about your past. He may not want to do it because it bums him out (no pun intended) that you’ve done it with other guys. That would be our best guess. Guys like to be first at something even if they know that’s not realistic. And he probably needs to be the leader in the bedroom rather than the follower. Lots of guys are like that. As far as broaching the topic? Do it in the heat of the moment when both of you are out of control. Don’t plan it out or discuss beforehand. The first time will likely need to be very spontaneous. Once he tries it, it’s likely he’ll be hooked…….However, if the thought of anal truly bothers him, then you might need to rethink this relationship and this guy. But give it a little more time. It might take another six months before you’re at that level with him.

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