He’s changed; what do I do?

Dear Guys,

How does one handle changes in the relationship? Is it worth it?

I don’t understand what’s going on with my relationship. I have been seeing someone for almost three years. We see each other once or twice a week, mostly on weekends. I am always referenced as someone or her or chick. We fight every weekend. He doesn’t text anymore during the week. I always pay to go see him. He says he doesn’t have feelings. He doesn’t want a relationship. He won’t even cuddle me or even give me hugs anymore. We sleep in the same bed only one night. He spends his nights watching movies playing xbox or working at night. He says he has to go to bed first otherwise he can’t sleep. He smokes weed alot and drinks every weekend. We used to have amazing weekends together.

I am head over heels in love him. I always have been. But I don’t understand what’s happening with us. What should I do?


Dear Sum,

The first thing you should do is read the letter you wrote to us. (Above) Maybe you’ve been together for three years, and maybe at one time you had a great relationship, but reading the description of your relationship was like reading all the side-effects of some experimental drug. Seriously. It was not very uplifting.

He’s told you he doesn’t have feelings for you and doesn’t want a relationship. He’s no longer affectionate towards you; he refers to you in the third person; he ignores you and he disrespects you. Yet, you say you still love him. How is that possible? Maybe you love who he used to be, but we’re having a difficult time understanding how you love the man you describe.

This comes down to self-respect Sum. You deserve better than this. You deserve someone who not only loves you, but shows you how much he loves you, and who makes your relationship a priority, not some weekend habit. You deserve to have someone who’s completely committed to you and the relationship. What you’re describing is the exact opposite of that.

Understand that most relationships run their course after a time. He’s told you how where he stands and demonstrates it every weekend. Now you have to decide what you want to do. We can’t make that decision for you. Just don’t forget that you have to look out for yourself first. If you’re not whole, you don’t have much to give anyone else.

Take care,


ps. We hope you’ll let your friends know about us. Thanks!



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