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Also, check out our latest podcast Episode 33: Dating questions, dentist fees, pet peeves. The Guy’s Perspective Podcast.
Here are the six relationship questions we answered on on our latest podcast:
Sarah is beginning to have a change of heart. Now that her man wants to introduce her to his family, she’s unsure how she feels about it.
Dan wonders whether or not he’s being played by the single mom he has recently started dating.
Miss Lady’s boyfriend turned down a trip to Vegas with her, but after his guy friends ask him he’s all in. Now what?
Jenny’s man cheated on her with seven to ten different women, but she still loves him. Why would he do that?
Emily has an admirer, at least that’s what her loving friends tell her. Are they right she wonders?
Riya is confused about a guy from work. They date; he decides it’s not going to work; but then he keeps texting even after she’s moved on. She is curious why he still is trying to be “friends.”
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Last week’s questions:
This week’s questions:
I went to prom with my best friend, and my boyfriend Toby got mad about it. I see Toby every Saturday and Wednesday and usually one other night a week.
About once a month I like going to concerts or something big with one of my other friends but I hang out with them on a weekly basis too. My boyfriend has a friend named Lyndsay that he hangs out with and they are best friends. And I have a guy named Joel that I like to hang out with but I told Toby, my boyfriend, that I was planning on going to a concert with Joel and he got mad, and started on about how his life is hell and how I am selfish and don’t give him my all.
What should I do?
Thanks for your question. Hmm….what should you do?
First of all you need to figure out what you really want. Do you want to be free to do anything you want, with anyone you want, anytime you want, or do you want to be involved with your boyfriend? We’re not saying the two are necessarily mutually exclusive, but relationships require a certain degree of give and take, as well as empathy; and that doesn’t sound like it’s happening in your relationship with your boyfriend. It doesn’t feel like either of you are taking each others’ feelings into account when you go out with your friends, especially friends of the opposite sex. It’s natural for him to be jealous. Most guys would feel a degree of jealousy if their girlfriend started hanging out with some other guy, even if they were told he was just a friend. Guys know guys. Or rather, a dog knows a dog.
The degree of jealousy is the issue here. Healthy jealousy is not always a bad thing. Toby is showing you that he cares about you. However, it can easily slip into the unhealthy realm, which can lead to all sorts of dramatic, unsavory, and even dangerous behaviors. One of the ways to address jealousy is to talk about it. Sit Toby down and find out why he feels jealous. Let him talk about his feelings. And then try to explain where you’re coming from, and why you need space to hang out with your friends too. He needs to allow you that freedom, and it’s a tricky balance. Often it’s what a woman is doing with the other guy that is the problem. If you were just having coffee and talking to your boy friends that would be one thing, but if you’re going out dancing and to dinner with them that’s another thing entirely. Having friends of the opposite sex is a great thing, but these friends shouldn’t replace the emotional connection you have with your boyfriend. And you shouldn’t be doing activities that fall under the boyfriend and girlfriend category like: dancing, dinners, vacations, etc.
If the the two of you can’t work this out, maybe both of you aren’t ready to be in a relationship with each other; or maybe the two of you don’t want to be in an exclusive relationship at all. You’re young. There’s nothing wrong with just enjoying being single, or dating casually. Either way this will all work itself out if you the two of you have a nice sit down and talk things through.
Please keep us posted.
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