He’s leaving soon; should I even bother?

Dear Guys,

So a little while ago, this really hot guy was in my lecture and we noticed each other but I didn’t think anything of it. At the next lecture he waited at the exit for me and asked for my number. Since then we’ve been having a blast texting each other. Our texts are generally extremely long (essay long back and forth) and they get extremely deep about philosophical things, dreams, and pretty much anything. Anyway, I feel like we both have a huge connection BUT the issue is, he is going to the military in about four months.

We hung out last night at his place and it was fantastic, I felt like everything went super-smoothly and we made out for a bit later into the night. I left a little after that but he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship, because he’s leaving soon and he doesn’t want to deal with long distance and all that. I feel exactly the same way.

We plan on going hiking next week/weekend to see all his favorite beautiful places and what not. So I’m kinda just wondering what is going on? I really love being around him because he is literally super- amazing and we click, but I’m just confused on why we’re still bothering, if it seems like neither of us wants a long distance relationship.


Dear Anonymous, 

It seems pretty obvious why you’re still bothering. You like him a lot. Even though your time is short with him, you love being with him, so why not. And seriously, you wouldn’t have written to us if there wasn’t a voice in the back of your mind saying, “He is so great. Maybe something might develop? Who knows. I’d hate to throw in the towel now. Let’s just see what happens.” We’re not saying you want to begin a long-distance relationship, but deepening the connection with him might keep you in his mind down the road. Are we close, or are we off-base? (It’s important to be honest with yourself, otherwise you won’t get what you want.)

As per him. He means what he says. He doesn’t want to get involved in a long-distance relationship and he’s not thinking about the future.

So what is he thinking about you ask?

He’s thinking short-term at this point and enjoying himself until he leaves. He’s thinking about spending his time with the beautiful new woman he’s just met. He’s also thinking about having sex with you. Could this change? Possibly, but it’s hard to say at this moment in time. What we will say is that if you cut off ties now, nothing will even transpire. If you stay connected something could possibly happen, although there are no guarantees.

Our advice: If you really like him, and can handle the uncertainty and the fact that he just wants to have some fun, then by all means, go for it and enjoy his company until he leaves. However, if you feel yourself getting too emotionally invested, you might want to reconsider.

Any thoughts/questions? Leave them in the comments’ section below. (You must be Logged In to do so.)

All the best,


ps. We hope you’ll let your friends know about us. Thanks!


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