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High School Dating: How do I get this guy in biology to notice me?

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Hey Guys,

Okay, so there’s this guy in my class named Ryan. He was in one of my other classes last year, so we both know each other. My best friend and his best friend almost dated each other so we have hung out out side of school before. But that was only once, and now that our friends don’t really like each other any more we don’t hang out at school any more either.

He is in my bio class and we will talk to each other in groups but I don’t have his number or anything, so I can’t really text him at all. I’m kind of starting to like him because he seems really cool and we’re both artists and I feel like we could really get along well together. I just don’t know how to get him to notice me or talk to me more. I know this will sound weird but his mom has kind of a a rockabilly/pinup style and that’s the way that I dress too, so would that make him not like me because I would remind him of his mom?

I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I’m not the most ordinary girl. I have sandy blonde hair and I don’t wear what every other girl is wearing. I always thought that guys would want to go for the girl that doesn’t look or dress like every other girl, but that hasn’t really worked out for me ahahaa. But I haven’t seen him with a girl at all or heard about him having a thing with a girl so I know he’s definitely single, and he knows I’m single. I’m very independent, and some of my friends have told me that I am very intimidating when it comes to my personality, which I don’t understand because I feel like I’m one of the nicest, drama-free people in my whole group of friends ahaha.

So yeah, I just want to know what I’m doing wrong. I suck at flirting because I haaate girls that make it sooo obvious that they’re trying to flirt with a guy. And I hate girls that are easy so I try not to be one of those girls. Well thanks for reading my looong message, and hopefully this will help me out.

Thaaanks,

Tatum. (:

Dear Tatum,

Thanks for your question.

We applaud you for being an individual and following your own passion and style. High school—we’re assuming you’re in high school—can be difficult for kids who buck the trend and do their own thing. Good for you. But that can be intimidating to people, especially to young guys.

An independent girl that doesn’t necessarily care if some guy is a good athlete or part of the “in crowd” is an enigma to young guys, because guys are so used to attracting girls because of something they’re good at instead of who they are—an interesting and good person perhaps. So we can imagine many of the guys at your school don’t quite know what to make of you, or how to handle you. (It doesn’t matter that you’re really nice and drama-free. It’s all about perception. And young guys are pretty insecure when it comes to strong, passionate, and focused girls.)

We’re not sure where this guy falls in the scope of high school guys but he still is a young guy so he might need some help here. Meaning, you’re going to have to make it obvious to him that he’s not going to be rejected if he pursues you beyond friendship. Don’t you have some friends that could drop a hint or two? Or is there some art show, or gallery the two of you could go to? Or something else casual that you could invite him to? If he likes you, he might welcome you taking the initiative. And with some relaxed hang, especially if it was during a Saturday afternoon or something, you could kind of make it seem like it was a friendly outing instead of a date. After that, there’s not much else you can do. If he doesn’t take the reigns after you’ve made it easy for him then he’s either not interested or too insecure to pursue you.

But don’t over think this. The fact that you dress like his mom is not causing him not ask you out. If a guy is attracted to you then he’s attracted to you. It wouldn’t matter if you were the kind of girl that wore hats with faux furry woodland creatures attached to them. If a guy thinks you’re cute/hot he’ll pursue you no matter what.

So we hope this helps a little. Good luck. And leave us a comment and get us up to date. Feel free to ask us a follow up question.

THE GUYS

ps. Please let your friends know about us. Show us some love on Twitter: @TGPBuzz (We’re new there) Thanks!

 

9 Comments on High School Dating: How do I get this guy in biology to notice me?

  1. hi guys, im a girl in high school that could use your help. im not very experienced in the whole boys, dating thing considering i wasn’t aloud to date until as of late. i really like this guy in my spanish class. he is a junior, and i am a sophomore. i have had small crushes before, but nothing like this. a friend told me that he might like onother girl, but its possible that he doesnt. (i really hope he doesn’t) im fluent in spanish, so he and many others in our class tend to ask me questions. we talk some during class, but not much outside of the class room. when im not looking directly at him, sometimes i can see him out of the corner of my eye looking at me, and whn i look at him, he blushes and looks away, and when he catches me starring, i do the same. its a little weird. i don’t really know how to flirt, so help on how to do that is much appreciated. my friends tell me that i should get moving, especially since prom is around the corner, so please repond soon! i thank you all in advance for helping me out and taking the time to read this.

    ~sporty

  2. @Sporty…..Hopefully he is single or not interested in anyone else. Either way, it does seem like he is attracted to you, or interested in you beyond just a girl in his Spanish class. And keep in mind, that just because you may found out he likes someone else doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind and try to date you. So what should you do? Well you need to make it obvious to him that you’re interested without being “obvious” about it. If that makes any sense. High School guys tend to miss cues or misinterpret them so you kind of have to knock him over the head with it. (Also, just because he seems confident doesn’t mean he is. It’s likely he’s just as nervous and unsure as you are if he does indeed like you.) We’d suggest working the whole “I speak Spanish fluently” angle. Next time he asks you a question tease him by teaching him a different phrase. Maybe a flirty one? Or something funny. But then tell him you were kidding and tell him the correct one. You need to break the ice and joke around with him. And that seems like an easy way to do it. You could also put together a study group and include him. Although this wouldn’t necessarily make it clear that you like him. The thing is, if he’s interested but just not sure you are, once you make it clear to him that you are he’ll then be emboldened to do something. Finally, what else does he do besides go to Spanish class? Is he a jock? In theater? What are his interests? Maybe you could ask him? Or find out and then pretend to be interested? Or go watch him play with some of your friends? Moving this “situation” beyond Spanish class is your first objective. And finally you could always get a friend to somehow let one of his friends know that you might be interested if he is. Hope this helps a little.

  3. thanks so much. he plays baseball, so i could go watch. i do love baseball actually and have wanted to go b4 i knew he played. i could c if some friends want 2 go w/ me, but how exactly could i b obvious, yet not be obvious at the same time? i my self am rather out going, and don;t seem shy, but i really am super shy. he once walked w/ me to a class, and i nearlly blushe w/ delight wat do i do?

  4. Cassandra // March 1, 2012 at 9:11 pm //

    Hi! I’m a junior in high school- for a while I’ve been “talking”/flirting with this guy…we don’t see each other a lot during school so we text mainly. He often tells me how beautiful/gorgeous/”stunning” he thinks I am, but in a really genuine way (he’s truly a nice guy). The majority of the time I let him text me first, 1) because I believe the girl should be the chase; I have a busy life and I want him to get the impression that if he wants me he should make an effort to stay in it (: and 2) it’s cute how he’ll find excuses to text me every night. However, he hasn’t texted me in four days…which kind of makes me wonder if he’s lost interest all of a sudden…I don’t mean to sound crazy or anything haha, I’m just curious because I actually have an interest in him. I don’t know why but it’s driving me mad. Any insight? Thank you (:

  5. Cassandra // March 1, 2012 at 9:15 pm //

    btw…he does also take an interest in me at school as well when we see each other; we don’t just text and then never talk in person…and I catch in staring at me in class alot, and when I look in his direction he just blushes and smiles.

  6. @Cassandra…..It might be a little too soon to panic. Who knows what’s going on with him? Studies, sports, some other extra curricular activity he’s doing? Yes, it’s possible he’s lost interest but not because he’s not into you. (He wouldn’t be telling you how stunning you are if he wasn’t into you.) But maybe he’s uncertain if you’re really into him. Maybe it’s time to reach out to him. Not by text. But at school. Find a way to run into him and flirt with him a little. We agree with you that the guy should be the one to take the initiative, especially at the beginning, but it’s okay to make it a little easy on a guy you like. But let him be the one to ask you out.

  7. Cassandra // March 2, 2012 at 4:03 pm //

    Haha I was thinking the same thing as well! I’ve been told before that I don’t show enough emotion or interest in the guy I’m “talking” to even if I’m totally into him, which results in the guy “quitting”on me. Thank you for the advice! (:

  8. thank you guys so much for responding to my question….this is actually the first time ive read it ahaha. But just recently my friend was at a party, and ryan was there. She went up to him and flat out told him you should consider tatum, because shes really nice and super cute. The next week he told her that he was going to ask for my number soon….but he never did it. But one of ryans friends gave his number to my friend taylor, and she immediately texted him asking if he had asked for my number and he had said no, and taylor said well do you want it? and come to find out he had liked me since 9th grade when we had english together because i stood up for him when other girls were making fun of him.. (: we’re talking now and i have a really good feeling it is going to work out very well! 🙂
    thank you for giving me your advice!!
    tatum

  9. @Tatum…..you’re very welcome. Good luck to you. Keep us posted!

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