Other questions about dating in high school:
Okay, so there’s this guy in my class named Ryan. He was in one of my other classes last year, so we both know each other. My best friend and his best friend almost dated each other so we have hung out out side of school before. But that was only once, and now that our friends don’t really like each other any more we don’t hang out at school any more either.
He is in my bio class and we will talk to each other in groups but I don’t have his number or anything, so I can’t really text him at all. I’m kind of starting to like him because he seems really cool and we’re both artists and I feel like we could really get along well together. I just don’t know how to get him to notice me or talk to me more. I know this will sound weird but his mom has kind of a a rockabilly/pinup style and that’s the way that I dress too, so would that make him not like me because I would remind him of his mom?
I’ve never had a boyfriend before, and I’m not the most ordinary girl. I have sandy blonde hair and I don’t wear what every other girl is wearing. I always thought that guys would want to go for the girl that doesn’t look or dress like every other girl, but that hasn’t really worked out for me ahahaa. But I haven’t seen him with a girl at all or heard about him having a thing with a girl so I know he’s definitely single, and he knows I’m single. I’m very independent, and some of my friends have told me that I am very intimidating when it comes to my personality, which I don’t understand because I feel like I’m one of the nicest, drama-free people in my whole group of friends ahaha.
So yeah, I just want to know what I’m doing wrong. I suck at flirting because I haaate girls that make it sooo obvious that they’re trying to flirt with a guy. And I hate girls that are easy so I try not to be one of those girls. Well thanks for reading my looong message, and hopefully this will help me out.
Thanks for your question.
We applaud you for being an individual and following your own passion and style. High school—we’re assuming you’re in high school—can be difficult for kids who buck the trend and do their own thing. Good for you. But that can be intimidating to people, especially to young guys.
An independent girl that doesn’t necessarily care if some guy is a good athlete or part of the “in crowd” is an enigma to young guys, because guys are so used to attracting girls because of something they’re good at instead of who they are—an interesting and good person perhaps. So we can imagine many of the guys at your school don’t quite know what to make of you, or how to handle you. (It doesn’t matter that you’re really nice and drama-free. It’s all about perception. And young guys are pretty insecure when it comes to strong, passionate, and focused girls.)
We’re not sure where this guy falls in the scope of high school guys but he still is a young guy so he might need some help here. Meaning, you’re going to have to make it obvious to him that he’s not going to be rejected if he pursues you beyond friendship. Don’t you have some friends that could drop a hint or two? Or is there some art show, or gallery the two of you could go to? Or something else casual that you could invite him to? If he likes you, he might welcome you taking the initiative. And with some relaxed hang, especially if it was during a Saturday afternoon or something, you could kind of make it seem like it was a friendly outing instead of a date. After that, there’s not much else you can do. If he doesn’t take the reigns after you’ve made it easy for him then he’s either not interested or too insecure to pursue you.
But don’t over think this. The fact that you dress like his mom is not causing him not ask you out. If a guy is attracted to you then he’s attracted to you. It wouldn’t matter if you were the kind of girl that wore hats with faux furry woodland creatures attached to them. If a guy thinks you’re cute/hot he’ll pursue you no matter what.
So we hope this helps a little. Good luck. And leave us a comment and get us up to date. Feel free to ask us a follow up question.
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