I’m engaged and the wedding is in a six months. I’m excited, but a few things have happened that have made me worried.
My guy’s(Rob..not his real name) mom is getting too involved with the plans and whenever I object Rob sides with her. The venue, the guests, even the food. He says it will make her happy and that it’s a big deal for her. He’s her only child.
I’m not happy and I’m worried that this type of pattern might continue in our relationship. So my question is, do you think this is unique to the wedding, or does this sound like trouble?
We’ve been told by female friends that a guy who loves his mom will be a good husband. But it’s one thing to love your mom, it’s another to be a momma’s boy. We hope you’re not engaged to the latter.
But having said that, weddings often bring out the worst in everyone. All of a sudden everyone thinks they have a say in the planning. And by everyone we mean the families. The guest list is often the biggest cause of tension. Parents want to invite everyone they know even if you’ve never even met them. To a certain extent that’s fine. They are typically paying for it, and they want to share their excitement and happiness with their friends as well. So you should go with the flow as far as the guest list, unless you want to elope, which isn’t always the worst option. But it’s absolutely no one’s business to tell you where you should have your wedding and what food or music you should have.
We’ll make this brief. Talk to Rob. Tell him how you’re feeling. It’s your wedding and you should be excited and happy about it. Let’s hope he comes to his senses. You will be a team throughout life and he needs to get on board!!
As for our bigger concern. Rob being a momma’s boy. Only you can know that for sure. The signs are there, but weddings are weddings. Have there been other instances throughout your relationship that have made you pause and wonder? Other things that might suggest a pattern of behavior?
And finally, does Rob have enough great qualities that you’re happy to marry him anyway? That’s your call.
Good luck. And congratulations! (We hope)