Confused: I don’t understand this guy’s behavior

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Dear Guys,

I really need help on this one. I’m 21 and recently started hooking up with this guy. We have been sexually active together for about 3 months now. He tells me it’s the best sex he has ever had; and for me, it’s the same! We hang out pretty much every day. Some days things seem to be going great. We hang out just the two of us, or with his friends, or go to the movies. He takes me to dinner, and we’ve even met each other’s families.

And then other days he acts completely different with me. We won’t kiss, touch, but he still flirts with me and is always super sweet. He’s always the one to make the first move when we hook up, just because im a little more shy when I’m with him. (This boy seriously makes me weak in the knees.) But some nights we won’t hook up or anything and it’s just plain weird, I guess? We both just got out of serious relationships not too long ago, and agreed that we were not rushing back into another one anytime soon. But we also agreed that we weren’t going to hook up with anyone else either. I guess I’m just confused on why he acts diffrently towards me some days. I really like this guy and just don’t want to mess anything up.


Dear Nichol,

Thanks for your question.

From everything you say, it seems like he likes you more than just a casual hook up. In fact it seems like the two of you are boyfriend and girlfriend, since you’re doing all the things couples do: going out to dinner, going to the movies, hanging out with friends, meeting prospective families. We think you need to have a discussion about this, don’t you? Just because you both SAY you don’t want to rush into anything new, your actions say otherwise. And hey, that’s a good thing if you’re both happy.

His behavior is a bit inconsistent, although you say he’s sweet to you even on the days when you don’t kiss, touch, or hook up. Typically if a guy considers a woman to be a fling, he only wants to be with her when he’s hooking up with her. Your guy doesn’t behave this way. So we have another possible explanation for his erratic behavior.

A man’s affection can often be traced to his changing testosterone levels. Meaning, a guy might behave differently on the days he wants to have sex, as opposed to the days right after he has sex? If a guy wants sex it’s likely he’s going to touch a woman more, maybe hold her hand, give her some love “squeezes” here and there, generally be more physically loving, and all around more agreeable. But some guys who don’t necessarily need sex every day might need a day of recovery. On those days— recovery days—guys can be more business like in terms of physical affection. See if this pattern holds true for your guy. And let us know.

If this is the case it can mean a lot of things. If he continues to be sweet with you, and treats you with respect there’s no reason to be concerned. It’s certainly worth a conversation down the road, maybe when/if you two decide to make yourselves an official couple. If this pattern becomes more extreme, you might need to reevaluate if you want to be with him. (This might mean there’s more going on than we can say based on your note.)

Overall, we feel pretty positive about what’s going on between the two of you. But keep those eyes open, and be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling about him and the relationship. We always say, TRUST YOUR GUT. (Be on the look out for our first video, on this very topic next week.)

Good luck,


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23 Comments on Confused: I don’t understand this guy’s behavior

  1. thankyou for getting back to me, and lately I have been staying over everynight at his house. We hook up some nights and then others we will just talk, and for some reason i like that. He seems that he doesn’t want just a fling because he acts like he wants to really get to know me. I just need one more question to be answered. This weekend he asked me out to dinner and a movie, and I dont want to seem clingy.. but i want to ask him if he wants to pursue a relationship with me… I just cant find the right words to come out and say it, or even if i should say something about it??

  2. @Nichol……’ve already hooked up with him a bunch, you have every right to know what’s going on between you. You could always keep it open and say something
    like, “So what’s going on between us?” Instead of putting it all on him and saying, “Do you want to pursue a relationship with me?” That might make the conversation
    flow more easily. Be careful to choose a good time to do it. Maybe see how the night goes. If you don’t say anything you’re going to be perpetually frustrated, so it’s time. There’s no guarantee that it will go the way you want but you won’t know until you talk to him. Good luck.

  3. An old friend and I recently reconnected through facebook and had been chatting quite a bit and we decided we should meet up somewhere and catch up, just casually hang out, he suggested bowling on a wed. night at 6. Wed. rolls around and I ended up having a family thing come up so I told him a few hours before and he said thats cool how about we reschedule for thurs. or fri. at 6pm, i will call and let you know which day and I will just meet you there. Thay s the last I heard from him….it is now Monday. I texted him fri. just to say hey what time you wanna head to the bowling alley and he never texted back. So yesterday I just sent him a quick message saying hey are you okay, cause this kid is like always on his phone and still no answer…I guess I am just really confused what happened?

  4. @Emily…..Yes, this is confusing. And we’ve seen this come up a bunch with texting. It sounds like he may have misinterpreted your cancelation as a rejection, when it really wasn’t that. So now he’s blowing you off. The best thing to do is to try and talk with him face-to-face at some point. Explain what happened and apologize if you think that’s appropriate. Hopefully he’ll do the same. Because he does owe you an apology for ignoring your texts and not following through with you, and the tentative plans you made. If he continues to ignore you, or blow you off, it’s best to move on. He’s not worth it. Good luck.

  5. Alex Anderson // December 26, 2012 at 2:44 pm //

    I met this guy and we started “dating.” I really like him but I am beginning to wonder if he feels the same. He works two jobs, his mother is sick with stage 2 cancer and when I call he never answers but he returns my call much later. It’s been two weeks and I’ve only seen him twice. Sometimes he texts me and when I call 5 minutes later he doesn’t answer. I told him what I want out of a relationship and I am already tired of being the one to initiate things. He says I’m his girlfriend but at the same time, he doesn’t make any time for me. We’re just two weeks into the game but I don’t like the way it’s starting and I’m starting to fear that the relationship is going to be this way. And, if it is, I want out of it. I’m afraid of getting hurt. I don’t want to be a fool. I’m ready for a commitment and he says that he is too but his lack of attention doesn’t show it. I’m so confused, what do I do?

  6. @Alex…..How long has it been? You’ve been dating 2 weeks? Fill us in and we’ll offer you some more opinions.

  7. Hi guys! I just wanted to keep you updated on this guy I told you about a few months ago. In case you forgot, I met this guy, things were going great, we fell in love. He told his parents/family about me, but didn’t introduce me to his friends on campus. He had an FWB with one of his close friends and I asked him to talk to her, and he was pretty adamant against talking to her. Eventually he broke up with me, with some lame excuse , but at the time I thought that he was dumping me to hang out with his friends. Later on, I saw him everywhere on campus with the FWB, while we were texting each other “i miss you’s”. I took your advice and cut off contact with him. Eventually it became common knowledge that he was dating said FWB. I was hurt and angry. So while I was planning a surprise party for my roommate through FB, I saw that someone had invited him. I sent an email asking him not to attend the party, because I didn’t feel comfortable hosting him in my apartment. He asked why, and I told him that with all the texting I thought he wanted to get back together, but I was wrong. He then sends an emailed response saying that he still misses me and likes me, but feels that our values and maturity are on different levels and comes between us at this time (me being more mature than him). I responded and said that was fine, but while we were texting each other, I wanted to talk to him and he always pushed away my offer to talk. I was angry that during this time he didn’t tell me that he was dating said FWB, and that I can’t be near him because I really liked him and I needed the time to heal. He emailed another response, and I just left it at that. About 2 months later, after not talking to him, he sends an email to me wanting to put the animosity that we had behind us, and that he misses me. In response, I wrote a ridiculously long letter telling him that I thought what we had was great, and that i felt used because he was never honest with me about his feelings for FWB. I accused him of using me just for sex, and I told him I deserved more. I forgave him, wished him the best in his new relationship, and told him that I don’t think we should be friends but just use this opportunity as a time for growth. I accused him of some other things too, but I told him I didn’t want to meet him. Of course, he responds, tells me he felt the same about our relationship in the beginning, and told me where I was wrong in accusing him of the feelings he had for his FWB, and that he was not using me for sex. He met me and wanted something long term, but it just didn’t work out. He told me that he and the FWB gave it a go after we broke up (apparently later than I suspected), but decided to be friends, and when he met me, they were only friends. But he understood why i came to those conclusions, because he never spoke to me when I wanted him to. I forgave him again, asked him to forgive me for the awful things I accused him of, and I told him I’ll try to be more friendly towards him, but no more mixed messages from him (I used to catch him staring at me, while he was dating his FWB!). I kind of regret forgiving him, I was finally coming to terms with things, and he found a way to sneak back into my thoughts. I still care about him, but I know I deserve more than what he has to offer, in any case he’s verbalized that he does not want to get back with me. He claims that it’s because of my religious beliefs. We both grew up conservative christians and we were now both agnostic. I’m still a spiritual person, but he is less so. We never discussed religions while we were together, so I’m mad he broke up with me over an assumption. But I feel as though he’s trying to find an excuse to legitimize breaking up with me. I know what I’ve typed up is a lot, but ultimately I want to ask you guys, what is up with this guy? He doesn’t want me to be his gf, but he says he still cares for me, still misses me, and is still very much attracted to me. I was right to suspect he had feelings for his FWB, but he broke up with her to stay friends with her. He says I’m too “woman” for him and he needs a “girl” because he’s too immature. I told him he’s choosing to be immature. What do you think he wants from me? Don’t worry, I know what I want , and although i care for him, and a part of me still loves him, I don;t want to get with him either. What he did really hurt, especially since we were so close. I feel like he wants me around, so that when he’s ready to have me, I’ll be available. That’s why, even though we’re sort of cool now, I’ll just keep my distance. What do you think?

  8. @Lisa……..We think he’s immature just like he says he is. But we also think he’s not being completely honest with you. If he is as into you as he says—attracted to you, misses you, cares for you—then he’d be doing everything could to get you back. Instead he’s keeping you at a distance. We think he cares about you but doesn’t see you as long-term girlfriend potential; but instead of just coming right out and saying it, he’s skirting around it because he doesn’t want to hurt you. This guy is not the right guy for you. (We know you know that.) Don’t let him invade your emotional space. Move on. When you meet the right guy you’ll think back and wonder what you were thinking with this guy. Be strong!

  9. I’ve been acquaintances/friends with this guy for years (high school and college) We have always been friendly when we see each other at parties but didn’t specifically call each other. He stays on our couch often after nights at the bars. I got out of a very long relationship in the fall and since then Chris would occasionally make a move but I’d turn him down. Well one night I let him sleep in my bed but just to snuggle. Since then he has been coming around much more often though not making plans directly with me. I let him sleep in my bed but will not go further then kissing him. This has been going on for about 6 weeks, probably four or five weekends. He asked what was going on between us, mainly why it seems like we are going to have sex but don’t. I explained I wasn’t that type of girl, I only sleep with guys I’m serious about. He asked if that meant we had to be exclusive. I said yes and that he didn’t seem to be working very hard for it. I cited the fact that he hasn’t called me or taken me out or anything. He said he wasn’t a relationship guy, he is not some college smart guy. He said something about a fling. I asked if he said that because he heard I had a gone on a date with Alex. He said he didn’t know and seemed shocked. He became withdrawn and upset that I had gone on a date with another guy. What is going on? He said he is not a relationship guy but gets jealous? Is there any potential for this actually developing into something or should I cut him out? I know that he has been hurt in the past by a girl but I don’t want to make excuses for him.

  10. @Allie…….His reaction is normal. He might not want a relationship but that doesn’t mean he’s not territorial. Guys will be territorial about their flings, booty calls, FWB. This doesn’t sound like it’s going anywhere. He doesn’t seem to “get it.” How old are the two of you?

  11. A met this guy online. The very first time we talked we talked for 5 hours and the same thing two days later, another 5 hours of talking, joking and non stop conversation. 2 days after that we met up at a restaurant and spent 4 hours talking and being affectionate. That was the beginning of us seeing eachother 2-3 times a week, going to the movies, dinner, staying over each others place, talking and texting everyday for 2 months. Then he began to slow his texting and calling. I backed off and didn’t initiate any contact and finally asked him what was wrong, he said he was busy with work and his child and thought we should chill, so i respected it and said OK. 2 hours later he texted me wanting to go to the movies. so we went but i didn’t kiss him or hold his hand like we normally did and we went the night with a hug. The feeling of him pulling back was there so couple days later i asked him what he meant by”chilling out” and if he wanted to not see me anymore and end everything we were doing. His was response was just wanted a break because he had alot going on and couldn’t give me the time i deserved or needed. I said ok and i haven’t heard from him in about 5 says. I really don’t know what happened and its really confusing me. He treated me very sweat, opened car doors, always asking if I’m ok, just a good guy and he just stopped all of it. Please help me with some insight on this. I really liked him and don’t know what happened…was it me? Something i did?

    Why would a guy initiate so much contact and then pull away?

  12. @Moni…..THe only explanation we have for you might not be satisfying, or even accurate. But here goes. Guys don’t know how they feel about a woman until they have sex with her. Every woman seems kind of amazing when a guy’s hormones are going crazy. And the thought of having sex with someone new drives a guy crazy. Our best guess is, once his hormones settled down, he decided that maybe he didn’t feel the way he wanted to feel. We’re really sorry. Of course, this is a shallow way of looking at things, and maybe there’s much more going on. But men can be pretty shallow when it comes to sex and relationships. Not all men of course. There are many good guys out there. Keep searching. You’ll find one. Or they’ll find you!

  13. Hey guys I don’t know if you remember me but I asked a question last time about a guy and you guys said the answer was he was leading me on just so he can get what he wants and that was it and that we prob wouldn’t date and that I was holding on for no reason, and that I should move on, well he did tell me sorry for leading me on and that he was going to hurt me but that I was amazing he just isn’t ready for a relationship yet and he isn’t the man he wants to be yet, he said yes it’s possible to be together in the future, but right now he isn’t ready, he says every time he likes me he always likes another person to. He knows my feelings are strong for him over the almost 3years of knowing him and this kind of relationship since November. I just wanted to ask you guys, what should I do now?

  14. LoneCaprice // May 8, 2013 at 3:17 pm //


    my question is what should I say or do now if anything?

    I was engaged to a guy I love very much last year and became pregnant with his lil girl. He moved to my state and everything to be with me. One day after a stupid argument,he was gone. I mean he didn’t say he was leaving, he came in the kitchen saw me cooking gave me a kiss on the forehead, smiled at me and everything like it was all ok. when I came up stairs to bring him his food all of his things were gone! I was devastated and confused. Two days later he text me and said( hey babe just letting you know I made it to new York safely, how are you? I love you) my head was going in circles like ( wth) who does that? he just started a full blown ordinary text covo as if he didn’t just pack up and leave state without telling me..

    I did not even respond until the next day because I did not want to explode. I ask him why would he do this? he keeps on as if im the one over reacting. he says he was just visiting his kids and family for a few weeks and he’ll be back. I said people do not just leave state without so much as a good bye or even notice, I was so upset by his behavior of acting as if I was the one who was losing it that I just told him stay there.

    mind you i’m about 3 weeks pregnant at the time and emotional. he continues to keep telling me he wasn’t leaving me and that he loves me he just was giving me space, I said when people take space they talk about it. he still acted as if it was me who was blowing this into something it wasn’t. I told him we’re engaged, living together I already have kids aside from his unborn daughter at the time. I can not just let my kids see unstable behavior etc.. I told him since he did this then he need to figure it out before he came back because now i’m not ready to just jump back for the fact I began to feel like I must not know this guy like I thought I did. he was upset with me now as if he did not understand my pain or anger or caution. weeks turned to months. the more I felt confused and decided I was too emotional to make any real decisions, so we didn’t talk for weeks then would talk for weeks, he’d reassure me that he loves me more than anything in the world and that he sorry for what he did. finally I get a sorry but I felt it wasn’t sincere because he says i’m the one who wouldn’t let him come back but like I told him no one controls anyone he’s responsible for his own choices. I felt he was sleeping with someone else, I felt it’s been 8months he has to be. he says he’d never do that to me, and how could he do that when i’m carrying his daughter and he loves me etc. I should never think like that. I mean the guy made me question myself like am I crazy am I doing this? am I ruining the best thing that ever happened to me?

    anyway I had our daughter april 2 of this year he was on his way back in a few more weeks because he said he been bettering himself as a man to be better for me and his daughter and planned so much etc..his sons mother had even reached me saying he’s not doing too well, he misses me can I let him come back now etc which I found odd. I do not even know her but whatever. I just responded back via internet that me and him been working it out all along. then I tell him about it and he says (really wow) he was in shock that his sons mother would extend a helping hand, I was like that was nice of her. that was about 2months ago then about a week ago his sons mother reaches me via internet again asking hows everything going?

    she then says hey if (he) told you he hasn’t been sleeping with anyone since he been gone I can guarantee u he’s lying. I was like really? how so. praying inside she didn’t really know. it was like she was playing a game with me, I asked bluntly has she been sleeping with him.. she still playn a game, then says (yes, we’ve been sleeping with each other ever since September then lived together and then she broke up with him in feb 2013!!!

    my face was blank and my heart dropped. he left here in august mind you. so it literally was not even a month really that passed and he started sleeping with someone, and not once but started a relationship and moved in!! I am devastated.. I didn’t even call, I text cause my kids we’re here. and immediately he’s like I’M SO SORRY BABY, I WAS LOST AND YOU HATED ME!!! while he textn me this, his sons mother emailing me at the same moment saying he calling her all types of bitchs and et,, saying how SHE ruined his relationship with his wife and daughter etc…) I just couldn’t deal any more so I stopped responding to her. he called once I didn’t answer because I was crying my eyes out feeling like a idiot. I felt was this my fault because I did not let him come right back?

    he kept textn saying (baby she just mad cause I love you! etc) I text bak and say (YOU STILL WERE SLEEPING WITH HER!!! I felt as if he was blaming her now. and me when he stated (you hated me).. and he made that comment because when he left I went for a chek up and had a s.t.d from him!! so yes I was angry and cussed him out that made it hurt more because he was in n.y when I found that out also.. anyway you get what i’m saying. I just broke down as any woman would like how could u etc etc.. he then texts and says ( I dnt wanna get into it im done talking!!)

    that was it.. its been 6days now. he has not tried to text or call or anything. I just cry and try to keep my head up. I wrote him a long email saying how much he hurt me and I feel betrayed etc.. and like I said its been a week. I changed my number today because I was driving myself crazy hearing the phone ring and text and not once was it him!!!it just made my days harder and harder for me to care for my children and newborn.. so I had to get some control bak if u get what im saying, so I wouldn’t continue to go insane watchn the phone..

    I know he’s in new York and i’m here in t.n I know I cant just get on a plane or bus with my kids just to address him face to face, I am lost.. it’s so unreal!! and I feel like im fading. I am a very strong woman I truly am, I have been waking up keeping the tears in and taking care of my children like im suppose to. and then at night I cry til I fall asleep and tell myself ( I am going to be ok!!!!) because I know that I am. that still doesn’t erase the pain or all I feel. but mostly im appauled that it seems as if he gives no shit about the fact he destroyed me. and I dnt know what else to do.. im going to just leave it at tht and accept whatever it is you tell me or advise, or just how you see it will be appreciated..

  15. @LoneCaprice……We felt sad reading this. We’re sorry. But you do seem like a strong woman. It’s clear by how you prioritize your kids and stay strong for them. You should feel proud of that fact. And we admire you for that. But understand something about this situation. You did nothing wrong. It’s very odd that he up and left without talking about it. And then pretended like he was trying to help you by giving you space. Clearly, he wasn’t , and isn’t, ready for the kind of responsibilities that come with being a father and a husband. As soon as things ramped up with you—you getting pregnant—he leaves to take up with another woman. Major red-flag. We know this man is the father of your baby, but we’re having a hard time seeing him as someone you could actually build a life with. Of course that’s just our opinion. You know the situation better than we do. We’d say keep trying to be strong, but don’t let him mess with your head. This is on him. It’s his immaturity that’s torn your lives apart. And maybe he knows this, but it’s clear he doesn’t know how to change. And that’s the big question here: Is he actually able to change and become the man he needs to be for you, your child, and his other children? That’s the question that only time will tell. Right now, it’s not looking that way.

  16. LoneCaprice // May 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm //

    @One of the Guys Thank you so very much for your honesty and for your timely response it’s greatly appreciated. I also thank you for your words of encouragement far as how I appear. I try my hardest always to do what’s best for my kids first! I think sometimes with love it’s hard to look in when you’re the one ( IN). And a lot of times we blame ourselves when we know we shouldn’t. I have and I will not again! the weight of the world on my shoulders still walking forward always!! Thank you, it’s always more clear when you hear a guys point of view on another guy. It helps and with this is my motivation to start healing.. .. I just wanted to say thank you!!!

  17. @LoneCaprice……You’re welcome. All the best.

  18. @LoneCaprice // June 23, 2013 at 7:15 pm //

    Hey GUYS! I’m back again, you’ve given me advice not too long ago but I am confused how to take it. I know you get a lot of questions asked to you, so I completely understand if you’re not able to get back to me. And I’m sorry to bother you yet again. If you remember my story, guy left without a word, was pregnant he ended up going bak to the ex.. ok so he pops up on me here in the state I live with gifts etc.. saying he’s sorry. he stayed for two weeks on the coach, I did not touch him at all!! yet he tried!!! smh.. I told him I couldn’t figure this all out and he should leave! he’s been gone a month now. still texts, calls, writes etc.. but I can not get past the fact he been sleeping with his ex for 9months!he says he’d a never done it if he’d a known i’d take him back but still in my head I never knew we were broken up. I know our communication was on and off due to how he left and etc.. but as I stated before he was still sendn me money talking to me saying he’ll prove he shouldn’t of left like that and make it up to me etc.. but I guess because I made it hard for him he ran to her. idk anyway while he was here he lied immediately. said he never told her he loves her, said he never begged to be back with her when she broke it off etc.. but then when he leaves he finally admits HE DID TELL HER HE LOVED HER!! AND HE DID GET ON HIS KNEES IN THE STREET AND BEG FOR HER BACK WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM!!! imagine my pain on top of pain and humiliation.all I feel is he came back to me cause she didn’t want him.he says that’s not true because he only did that cause he didn’t wanna be alone. she reaches me and says he never loved her and she feels im the one he’s always wanted because our love connection is deeper and that she only dealt with him cause she too didn’t want to be alone.. i’m just smdh at all of this because is this suppose to make me feel better? because it doesn’t. all he does now is curse her out for telling me the truth far as him telling her he loves her etc. I think it’s terrible how he treats her because hell he the one did it!! anyway so he gets on his knees and begs back for me now!! but all I see is a man who will beg for anyone!! and I see is a man who will tell anyone he loves them!! all I see is b.s he says (what else do you want me to do, I done begged and bought u stuff etc) it’s like he doesn’t get it. how could he tell another woman he loves her, sleeps with her for months while i’m pregnant and beg for her back then expect me to just say ok lets get back to us.. I got so frustrated with it all I asked him to leave me alone. he makes different pages on facebook comments on my pictures saying (take this picture down or dnt say this and etc as if i’m his girlfriend still.. he says he will not give up and he will be back to show me he really does love me and he never meant to hurt me etc.. I do not want him just popping up in my life weeks from now or months from now without my knowledge. because once I start to heal I do not want to be hurt again by having the pain in my face that i’m fighting so hard to get rid of.. oh wow I almost forgot smh he slept with his unprotected with well knowledge that he has hpv! so how in the hell is that love in any form for me if he can go to another unprotected and then wasn’t going to tell me and then was going to just sleep with me? he gave me something when I first found out iwas pregnant.. thank god it was treatable!! and when they told me my pap was abnormal I freaked but I went again and they said I was ok but beware of hpv.. so immediately I go to him and he’s like I didn’t know, but yet when he found out he had warts etc.. he goes sleep with this girl!! and was going to just come in my bed as well!! I thank god everyday that i’m ok!! but guys? i’m not ok! because I have no idea how to begin to address any of this to move on. I’ve shared so much it embarrasses me. but if I want the guys help? complete honesty is needed. any advice on what’s the right thing from a mans perspective and whats wrong with this dude or how you see it being a guy knowing other guys or anything would help.. just lay it out BLUNTLY… thank you so much for this site.. u have no idea how having a place to talk to real guys truly help us women….

  19. @LoneCaprice……….It sounds like you know what you need to do. It’s more a matter of HOW you do it, or rather just doing it. But you’ve got this guy pegged. He’s all over the place. And he has no idea what it means to be in a committed relationship. First he confesses his love for you, then her. Once again, is this really someone you think you can build a life with? Is this someone who is responsible and stable enough to be a committed father and partner? We don’t think so, but that’s your call. Once you answer those questions it’s truly just a matter of you setting clear parameters with him. Obviously he has the right to see his child, but you also have a right to have a life that’s not disrupted repeatedly by a guy who has no idea what he really wants.

  20. @LoneCaprice // June 26, 2013 at 2:20 pm //

    @one of the guys, very true. it was the fact on HOW as you stated to get this settled. he’s not rational. I talk? he just acts as if nothing i’m saying matters. all he keeps saying is we are destined to be etc.. blah, blah, blah. it’s not even about our child. he just wants what he wants. not once has he even said anything about her except ur a good mom. everything else is constant trying to get in my head that he is not going to ever leave me alone.. smh but thank you. I changed my numbers, deleted my facebook. he still finds ways and will continue too. its draining me out and making it hard for me to heal.. it’s my own fault tho for not getting to know him more. thanks again sooooo much .. you all are amazing guys!!!!!!

  21. @LoneCaprice……Stay strong and be consistent. Eventually he’ll get the message but it could take a long time. If you show any sign of weakness you’ll just delay the process. Take care.

  22. ConfusedGirl // July 4, 2018 at 4:01 am //

    Hello! I am totally confused by his behaviour. Well we met some years ago at that time i was in a relationship so we just became friends. We never talked much some comments on whatsapp or Instagram nothing more. Now i have broke up with my ex. We met for a coffee some months ago ( we don’t live in the same city) and from that we started commenting a little more but not every day or constantly. Well lately we spent some days in the same city i was with my friends and him with his friends but during those days it has happened that he came with one of his friend to me and talked for a while and also we started texting a bit. Then we went on 3 “dates” alone but i am not sure they were dates. We stayed a lot of time togheter we eat we walked but nothing happened he didn’t talk about a possible romantic implication. The last day i have seen that he had became more confident in the sense that at least he tried to touch me but always innocently. Now we don’t live in the same city but he calls me and we talk hours. One day he said that he was going out for dinner with a female friend and i don’t know what to think. Also he never publish on social media when we are togheter. He invite me to go out both with his friend and alome. He his always kind and willing to spend time togheter . I am confused. Help me please.

  23. @ConfusedGirl…..Okay, we can understand why you’re a bit confused. Questions: How old is this guy? And how did your three “dates” come about? Did he ask you out each time?

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