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Some recent questions:
I hope things are well with you.
After almost 3 years I saw my ex husband again and it feels like the first day I met him. Luckily he feels the same way. However, he is in a new relationship and asked the lady to leave but she told him to tell me if we want her to leave I must throw out her stuff. I can’t do that.
We have a little boy together that visits his dad quite often. It breaks my heart to see my boy with this lady. And this woman doesn’t want my ex to go to places without her so he and I can’t have a proper talk.
We’ve both wondered if we could maybe cancel the divorce. What would be the steps be to cancel it? We really think that things can work out for us, but like I said the lady is the problem. She doesn’t want to leave unless we can cancel the divorce. Then she says she will leave.
I hope to hear from soon.
Thanks for your question.
We’re not quite sure what you mean by canceling the divorce, especially three years later. Do you mean an annulment? We think it’s probably a bit late for that. Read about it here: Annulment.
But what puzzles us is: Why are you both letting this other woman dictate the course of your lives? Unless the situation is much more complicated than it seems, she shouldn’t be prohibiting the two of you from being together. It sounds like you both feel sorry for her, which means you both have good hearts, but even still, that shouldn’t stop you from being together. We’re sure there’s a way to help her land on her feet and also reunite with your ex. You’ll have to figure that one out though.
You are not the first couple to consider trying again after getting divorced. Sometimes people aren’t ready to be in a committed relationship the first time around. But by the time they meet up again, they’ve both gained insight into relationships, gathered more life experience, and now know what they really want. Hopefully the two of you are at this place.
We do think you should proceed slowly with all of this. First your ex needs to figure out what he’s doing with his current relationship. But even if he extracts himself, the two of you should move slowly, almost as if you’re dating for the first time. It would be easy to jump into things since you already have been intimate in many ways, however it’s important for you to talk about your relationship and ask some important questions.
1. Why did we break up in the first place?
2. What’s changed since then?
3. How are we going to deal with these problems if they occur again?
4. How are we going to solve problems when they arise in general?
5. What do we want out of a relationship?
6. Do either of you want more kids?
(This list could go on for a while.)
We’d even go so far as to suggest seeking out a professional to help you work through these questions before you jump right back into things. The last thing you want is for the two of you to get back together only to realize a year down the road that nothing has changed. Not only would that be difficult for both of you, but your son would get dragged through the mud as well.
Good luck. We hope it all works out for you.
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