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Some recent questions:
I do not really see any mistake whatsoever. At least nothing serious. Just one morning I woke up in his bed and he was watching me from afar. Then he basically told me to pack up my things and leave. I was more surprised than sad, and tried to figure out what was going on. He walked me out with those heavy bags and told me that I am just not good enough, intelligent enough, charismatic enough, and there is no reason for him to be losing his time with me. I was only listening and it seemed a bit funny to me, because I do not really think I am dim or unable to express myself. He was being overly dramatic and I could see that he was trying hard to hurt me. I’ve always known he is a bit unstable, and that he is interested in different things but it was never a problem. We fought occasionally but I do not recall anything too serious. This breakup was also really out of the blue; I think it was a rather impulsive decision. Also this is not the first time; he has broken up and come back a few times already. I had no problem with that. And this breakup doesn’t even especially hurt.
But I’d like to ask: Why is that? Can you see some pattern in this rather pathetic behavior? Is there a problem with me, or does this guy need to sort himself out? He deleted me from his accounts and I was not desperate to call him/message him. I am not really sure but I have a feeling he will try to crawl back again. Maybe. Would you be so kind and play his part so I can at least understand what went wrong, and if I’m the one to blame, and will he come back? Because right now, I’m really confused. We’ve been together for two and half months, and a year before that we went out for one year and half.
Thanks for your question.
You don’t seem too broken up over your split? And if that’s true, maybe both of you are actually on the same page here. Maybe both of you realize the relationship isn’t right, and he finally decided to take action.
But let’s backtrack for a second. Breakups are often a surprise to the person getting broken up with; but the person who does the breaking up has more than likely been thinking about it for a long time. So even though you felt like your guy was being impulsive, probably he was rehearsing how it was going to go down for months.
We don’t condone the way he broke up with you. Parting barbs are never productive, and often reflect a lack of maturity. And since the two of you have a history of getting back together, we would think he’d be more careful about what he says to you. (It’s hard to take back mean words.) But why is he saying such mean things to you? It seems like there’s a lot of information or back history we’re not aware of.
We can’t say whether or not he’s unstable, but from our point of view, something seems missing from your relationship, almost as if both of your expectations are low. Why is that? We think that question is worth exploring. And related to that: You also seem very guarded. Is there a reason for that? Do you have an issue trusting him, or do you have a hard time trusting people in general?
He might come crawling back” as you say. But do you really want him back even if he does ask for forgiveness? Right now he’s out exploring the field, or dating someone else. He’s looking for someone who isn’t you. So maybe that’s what you should be doing as well. Why not put yourself back out there and try to find someone you can trust and open up to? Why not try to find someone who genuinely cares for you and who does think you’re intelligent, funny, and beautiful.
There is someone out there who will rock your world, but you have to allow them to. Being vulnerable is always a bit unnerving, but the reward can be amazing. Don’t settle for anything less.
ps. Let your friends know about us.