I’m hot for my tutor; will he date me?

Dear Guys,

I am a college freshman (18 yrs old) and recently I been having trouble with a class. I got tutoring but then switched my tutors to this guy who I found very attractive. (He is 25 yrs old). After our first tutoring session he texted me and we briefly flirted. At the end of our second session we end up having a hot make out session which lead to me pleasuring him.

After that he didn’t text me but I texted him asking for tutoring the next day. The next day after our tutoring session as I was about to leave he kissed me. I told him it didn’t feel right to be making out because I barely knew him and he was my tutor. However, we kept making out and things kept getting hotter and hotter. We ended up having sex. At the end I ended up telling him that I actually wanted him to ask me out. He was like really I didn’t know.

Well the thing is that I am really attracted to him. He is funny, witty, intelligent, hot, talented, and nice. I like him but I feel like he thinks I am just a FWB. I don’t know what to do because I thought he wanted to ask me out or liked me but he hasn’t done anything about it. And the bad thing is that I keep thinking about him and I want to be with him again. I don’t know what to tell him. I want to clarify and know what he wants. I need a guy’s perspective on this!

Haley

Dear Haley,

Thanks for your question.

Your situation is confusing because you’ve wandered into murky waters. Typically students and teachers shouldn’t be having any sort of relations outside the classroom. (This includes tutors as well. ) We do realize you’re 18 and of age, but that doesn’t mean he’s got a free pass. And if he is employed by your college he certainly understands what the boundaries are.

If the two of you want to have some sort of relationship you should stop seeing him as a tutor and see if he’ll ask you out on a proper date. But honestly, we’re not even encouraging that, because there’s a large divide between the two of you. He’s already out in the adult working world, and frankly you’ve only just graduated from high school. This might not seem like a big deal but there’s a huge gap in emotional and cognitive maturity here. Also, factor in that he’s your tutor, which makes it difficult to have a balanced relationship because he automatically has more power, being in a position of authority. What essentially happens is the tutor/student dynamic continues into the actual relationship.

We know you’re smitten, but honestly we don’t think he’s looking for anything more than a good time with you. And it doesn’t sound like that’s really what you want. (We don’t blame you.) So our suggestion: Get a different tutor and find yourself a nice guy who is a student at your college.

Check out our video: Dating older men

Feel free to leave us a comment or ask us a follow up question.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Let your friends know about us.

Other questions about student/teacher dating and dating older men: 

Does my coach love me or am I being delusional?

Teacher/student: I thought he was into me but he never asked me out

 

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