I have been with my boyfriend for around six months now. We met on Plenty of Fish and everything has been amazing up until a week or so ago. We have had a couple of arguments, the first being that he keeps adding random hot girls on Facebook. The second, which has happened recently, is that he has made a new online dating account. The worst part is that a friend of mine found his account and sent it to me. I’m embarrassed and heartbroken. He denies ever making it but the picture is a recent one and I can see the last log in date! He swears he loves me and wouldn’t do that to me.
Do I believe him or the profile?
This seems plenty fishy, don’t you think? Sorry for the bad pun, but once again we’re surprised, although we shouldn’t be by now, at how preposterous guys can be when denying the obvious. How did the account get made if he didn’t make it? Did it magically appear online? Did an evil online gnome create it? How did it get there?
Let’s say he did create it. Is your relationship over? Not necessarily, but he needs to do a 180 and fast. First, he needs to stop denying and start apologizing, for creating the profile, for lying about it, for adding all these “hot” girls on Facebook and for not considering your feelings when doing all of the above. Then, and only then, can a conversation ensue that might be productive and healing.
That said, all of this has happened for a reason. It would be important for you to find out what the reason is. What’s going on in your relationship that’s not working for him? Is he not happy or satisfied? Why is he not happy? Maybe he’s not as into you as he had hoped and is now acting out? Or maybe he’s too immature to be in a committed relationship? You need to have a heart-to-heart with him.
Even after he apologizes and gives you an explanation you can possibly stomach, you still need to ask yourself if you can trust him again. That is the most important consideration here. Things could be all good again, but if you have this niggling in your gut that keeps questioning him, we wouldn’t ignore that. It’s also not very fun to constantly doubt your partner’s behavior.
Any questions/thoughts? Feel free to leave in the commments’ section below. (You must be Logged In to do so. It’s easy.) Also, have you read our e-report on this topic? It might be useful for you. (Cheating and Dating Sites)