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Is he lying about online dating profile?

Hi Guys,

I have been with my boyfriend for around six months now. We met on Plenty of Fish and everything has been amazing up until a week or so ago. We have had a couple of arguments, the first being that he keeps adding random hot girls on Facebook. The second, which has happened recently, is that he has made a new online dating account. The worst part is that a friend of mine found his account and sent it to me. I’m embarrassed and heartbroken. He denies ever making it but the picture is a recent one and I can see the last log in date! He swears he loves me and wouldn’t do that to me.

Do I believe him or the profile?

Chels

Dear Chels,

This seems plenty fishy, don’t you think? Sorry for the bad pun, but once again we’re surprised, although we shouldn’t be by now, at how preposterous guys can be when denying the obvious. How did the account get made if he didn’t make it? Did it magically appear online? Did an evil online gnome create it? How did it get there?

Let’s say he did create it. Is your relationship over? Not necessarily, but he needs to do a 180 and fast. First, he needs to stop denying and start apologizing, for creating the profile, for lying about it, for adding all these “hot” girls on Facebook and for not considering your feelings when doing all of the above. Then, and only then, can a conversation ensue that might be productive and healing.

That said, all of this has happened for a reason. It would be important for you to find out what the reason is. What’s going on in your relationship that’s not working for him? Is he not happy or satisfied? Why is he not happy? Maybe he’s not as into you as he had hoped and is now acting out? Or maybe he’s too immature to be in a committed relationship? You need to have a heart-to-heart with him.

Even after he apologizes and gives you an explanation you can possibly stomach, you still need to ask yourself if you can trust him again. That is the most important consideration here. Things could be all good again, but if you have this niggling in your gut that keeps questioning him, we wouldn’t ignore that. It’s also not very fun to constantly doubt your partner’s behavior.

Any questions/thoughts? Feel free to leave in the commments’ section below. (You must be Logged In to do so. It’s easy.) Also, have you read our e-report on this topic? It might be useful for you. (Cheating and Dating Sites)

Take care,

THE GUYS

Read more Relationship Advice and Dating Advice about online dating/cheating. 

 

 

2 Comments on Is he lying about online dating profile?

  1. Hi, thank you for your answer guys! He told me that internet sites steal peoples data all the time so fake “boost” the members. it is the same picture as his Facebook profile so I guess the website could have taken it? I’m not great with tech so not sure this actually happens!
    I believe he loves me as his actions show it everyday. I do have insecurity issues so this really hasn’t helped, I just have doubt when I look at him now. Surely if he wasn’t happy he would just leave?
    We are looking to move in together and now im just scared its a really bad idea 🙁

  2. @Chels……Okay. Well, we’ve been wrong before, so who knows. Maybe this is the one time we’re wrong. And the one time your gut is wrong. But when you put it together with the Facebook additions you gotta wonder. Look, you really care about him, but your relationship needs some work. You should not be feeling this way and he should be doing EVERYTHING in his power to convince you that he loves you and that he’s not misbehaving. Maybe you have some insecurities, but don’t blame this on yourself. It’s not like you’re making it up. Our suggestion: Keep talking. Keep observing. And see how you feel in a bit. You should only move in together when you’re both feeling completely solid about the relationship. Don’t you think? Think of this as an opportunity to get closer and to understand one another. But don’t forget to assert your needs. Insecure people tend to give up the power and then they get taken advantage of. Your needs and feelings are just as important as his. There needs to be a balance of power. (What do your friends think?)

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