>>BOOK YOUR PRIVATE ONE ON ONE CONVERSATION WITH THE GUYS TODAY!<<

Is this an Online Romance or an Online Booty Call?

For Real Time Discussion join us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz

Some recent questions:

Contemplating a long distance relationship; Could we be something more? 

Why did we really break up?

I cheated on him; should I tell him?

Divorced and now online dating; Am I booty call or more?

Does this older guy like me?

Hi Guys,

So here’s the story. I met a guy online about a month and a half ago. We get along great and there is chemistry =) that I will not deny. But I have two problems:

1. Sometimes I feel like this guy is only in it for the sex. And by sex I don’t mean, I’m having cybersex with him. We talk on voice, and he masturbates while we do, and he isn’t afraid to show it either. He has been doing this since day one. He hasn’t asked me to do it and says he will never ask me for sexual favors over the internet. When I confront him, and say that this is all about sex for him, he gets angry over the fact that I doubt his intentions and he says that he feels sexually about me, only because he has feelings for me and cares about me. (I’m not sure if that makes any sense). Some of my guy friends have said that this guy could just be a very sexual person, others say that he’s definitely just killing time, cause if a guy truly liked a grl, he wouldnt be doing things like this.

2. My second problem is that this guy tends to vanish for days and sometimes 1-2 weeks without a word. I leave him an offline every 4-5 days and he doesn’t reply. And just when I’ve let go of hope that he’s coming back, he shows up again!! When I ask him, he tells me he’s been busy with work and doesn’t find time to come online and that he’s really, really sorry. Okay, maybe I should cut him some slack and assume he really is busy with work… but how hard is it to leave me an offline every couple of days? Or is that asking for too much? By the way, the longest he’s disappeared for has been 2 weeks straight.

Other random facts about this mess of a relationship: He talks about the future a lot. I’ve been told that’s a good thing. He has even brought up marriage. And he often says “when we’re married…..etc.” We live really far apart from each other, and that’s why this is so complicated for me, because it’s hard for me to know if he’s for real or not, cause I haven’t met him in person yet.

All I want to know is: Am I wasting my time on something that’s not worth it? And please ignore the pessimism in my message, I’m trying not to let it ruin the guy’s image, but truth be told I’m probably one of the most cynical people, when it comes to love and romance.

Thanks for taking the time to read and answer this. I appreciate it!

Jenna,

Dear Jenna,

Thanks for your question.

It’s hard for you to know what this guy’s true intentions are until you actually spend time together, face-to-face. But right now it’s all just “talk” on his part. Honestly Jenna, we don’t love what we see here. You’ve known this guy for 6 weeks and he masturbates during your conversations, and has since day one? And then he says he’s not just interested in sex? Who is this guy?

We typically don’t tell people what to do, but we’re going to have to say a big NO for this situation. This is not the kind of guy you want to get involved with. If he truly liked you, he’d want to get to know you; which means he’d be trying to figure out how to get together with you in person so he could learn more about who you truly are, rather than some fantasy talk about getting married down the road. This is the kind of situation that worries us about online dating in general, and raises many red flags.

Jenna, we don’t think you’re really okay with what’s going on here, or that this is the kind of relationship you truly want. We don’t get that sense from you.

Sure, guys love sex. (And it’s a good thing if a guy really wants to have sex with you.) But the fact that this guy unabashedly masturbates to your voice tells us he’s not interested in having sex with you specifically. If that were the case, once again, he’d be trying to figure out how to see you in person. (Actions speak much louder than words.) No, this guy is solely interested in the masturbation aspect of this. We wouldn’t be surprised if he’s doing this with other people too, especially since he disappears for days at a time. Sorry, we don’t mean to bum you out, but we can’t get on board with this at all.

Here’s our cynical side: We doubt he’s representing himself accurately. He could be anyone or anybody. And nobody we’d trust. We don’t see a future here with this man.

Here’s our positive side: We know there are a lot of great guys out there for you to meet. Don’t settle for this guy. You deserve to have someone who loves and respects you. Great sex will be part of that when it happens.

Good luck. We’re pulling for you, and only are being tough out of concern for you.

Please feel free to leave us a follow up comment and/or question. (Here in the comments section. We will respond here.)

THE GUYS

ps. Let your friends know about us.

 

4 Comments on Is this an Online Romance or an Online Booty Call?

  1. Thanks so much for answering my question.

    I’ve already thought of all the things, you just said.. but I guess I just kept pushing it aside. It sucks to be told that you’re being played, and I guess I just didn’t want to accept it.
    And yes its been a week, since I last heard from him. But he’s probably going to re-appear again with another lame-ass excuse for not being able to reply to my offline message. I’m going to give it to him straight, the next time we talk!

    Thanks again =)

  2. @Jenna…..Don’t feel badly. We got the sense from you that you already kind of knew what we might say, but were hoping that maybe, just maybe, we’d say the opposite. And frankly, we feel that we get a lot of questions from people who kind of already know the answer, but are looking for confirmation, even as they hope for a revelation.
    Hopefully it was helpful for you to get an objective viewpoint.
    All the best. Let us know how things turn out and feel free to ask us another question anytime.

  3. Yes, the fact that I’m asking, implies that I doubt the guy’s intentions.
    Anyway you guys were absolutely right about him. I went back to the chatroom where we met and he was there. He basically pretended like he didn’t know me, and to be honest, I wasn’t surprised. I’m glad I realised this now, rather than later. Lesson learned : listen to your gut. Its been telling me from day one that he’s not worth my time. I guess sometimes I tend to ignore it, cause I’m very pessimistic about guy’s intentions and there have been times when I have listened to my gut and ended up maing the wrong decision about a guy. In short, Ive turned away really good guys, thinking that they weren’t.

  4. @Jenna…..Don’t beat yourself up over this. Lesson learned. All anyone can do is apply their new knowledge and information to the next relationship. Yes, listen to your gut. And think about why you might be turning away good guys. (At least in the past)
    We all have our patterns. And we all have a certain “type” that we tend to go for. And while that particular “type” could work, often it’s the type that we don’t typically go for that make the best match.
    We wish you all the best. Take care.
    And please keep in touch!

1 Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Can you guys explain men and masturbation to me? | The Guy's Perspective

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


Maximum comment length is 1500 characters.

*