Long term feelings?

Dear Guys,

I went on a trip to Europe this summer  to visit my family, like I do every year. My last week there I met someone who I used to know when I was a little girl. We hung out with a group of friends for three days and we all instantly became like family. This guy and I became obsessed with each other for those three days and instantly decided to keep in contact. We  promised to see each other before next summer.

It’s been two months since we’ve seen each other now and we’re both going back to the same place we were this summer for New Year’s Eve to see each other. We talk every couple of days, sometimes once a week but when we do he always tells me “I need you, I need you”

Before we said our goodbyes this summer he said, “What am I going to do without you for a whole year?” He also said, “Don’t find anyone else.” We’ve talked about his past relationships and he’s never been with a girl for more than 2 months.  I also get bored of guys very easily and I’ve never been with someone for longer than 2 months also.

From a guys perspective, do you think this affection will last for him? We only knew each other for three days but I feel like I’ve known him for so long.


Dear Dora,

Thanks for writing to us. Interesting question.

Your behavior in the past doesn’t necessarily determine how this new situation will go. Just because the two of you get bored with other people doesn’t mean you’ll get bored with each other. When it’s right, it’s right.

However, it’s way too early to know whether it is in fact, “right.” You need to spend considerably more time with him, and more consistent time with him to really know how you’ll feel. Seeing him periodically for a few intense days won’t tell you much about having a long term relationship with him. Long distance relationships are full of longing, and heightened feelings. You need to see how it is on a more day-to-day basis.

But Dora, you’re off to a great start. You’ve found someone you really like that you connect with; and the feeling’s mutual. That doesn’t happen every day. So go with it. See where it takes you. And enjoy the ride. Keep your wits about you, but don’t over think things. If you like each other after the next meeting, plan another one. Just take it a step at a time.

Good luck and keep us posted.


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2 Comments on Long term feelings?

  1. I agree with the Guys that it is too soon to tell. Keep your wits about you and just let things play out. If it is right, it will happen. Relax and just enjoy.

  2. Sometimes you just know when it’s right. Keep the faith & have fun!

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