Mr. Right or Surrogate Father?

Good day. It's Wednesday, July 8, 2009.

Before we get to the question of the day and our response, we have a few questions for all the women/young women who might be reading this.

When you say Mr. Right, what do you actually mean? Does this mean you believe there is only one "right" GUY for you, or do you think there could be more than one "right" GUY? And what qualifications does a GUY need to have, to be classified as Mr. Right?

These are questions that ALL GUYS would like to know. Please feel free to leave a comment and enlighten us. 

Now for the question of the day.

Dear Guys,

I’ve come to a crossroads in my life and I’m not sure what
to do. I’m getting kind of sick of looking for Mr. Right. I just haven't met anyone I want to be with for the rest of my life. The fact is, I want to start a
family soon and I’m not getting any younger. If I decide to have a baby on my own, how would I guy feel about that, if I did
meet someone great in a few years?

Christine, Michigan


Dear Christine,

Thanks for the question. 

First of all, we understand your situation. If you wait too
long, you may not be able to have a child of your own. “Mr. Right” may be around the corner, but
that’s not for certain. Of course is anything in life? Obviously, you’ve been thinking
about this for some time, so we trust you understand what you’re possibly going
to undertake.

For this question we consulted with some of our more
“experienced” GUYS to get an overview on parenting. They said raising a child was the most difficult thing
they ever did. They also said it was the most wonderful experience too. Having a supportive spouse to
offer another viewpoint, or to hold a crying baby in the middle of the night, or to
just have someone to talk with about the overwhelming responsibility of raising
a child, was key for all of them. Unfortunately you won’t have that luxury, so you’ll have to do it all
by yourself. Hopefully you will have a strong support network to lean on when you need help or advice.

Now to your basic question. Most guys would prefer to have a family of their own. But this is not necessarily a deal breaker. This goes back to something we
talked about last week. Are GUYS open to dating someone with kids? In your case
a lot will depend on what role you allow your new man to take on. If you keep him at arm's length, he may have a hard time figuring out what his role actually is. But in some ways your situation will be easier for a GUY to enter because the
father of the child won’t be present in body. If your child is still young, it’s likely your new GUY will
want to be a father figure to your child. If your child is older he may want to
be his friend. A lot will depend on how much you trust him. Ask
yourself: Will he actually be a good role model to my child? And will he stay
or leave when the going gets tough? These will be some of the hardest decisions you'll have to make. Remember, if your new guy thinks you're wonderful, he will accept the entire package and most likely
embrace you and your child.

Yes, there are plenty of guys who won’t want to get
involved with you BECAUSE you have a child. But anyone with that attitude you
don’t want anyway.

In our opinion you should give this some more thought. If
you truly decide to move ahead with your plan make sure you’ve consulted with other people who are raising a child by themselves to see what they can share with you. Of course
raising a child is anything but predictable. So expect the unexpected. That’s often the best part!!

WE'LL DROP THE MACHO STUFF FOR A SECOND AND SAY: You have to follow your heart on this one.

Good luck.


PS. Do you have a surrogate father in mind?


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