My husband and I have been together nine years and he works on the road a lot. The other day while we were talking over the phone he called me by his ex’s name. He apologized immediately and many times over but this affected me deeply. He said that her name was brought up by me the day before and that’s why he used it. (That’s true. I had called about obtaining health insurance and he had used this company in the past and his closest relative and emergency contact listed was her, so I asked him about it.)
I’d be lying if I didn’t add that I was very irritated when she somehow impacted my right to obtain a policy with him. I went bat shit crazy when he called me by her name too.
My question is do I need to worry about where his heart really is?
We can see why you might be upset, but it sounds like it was an innocent mistake on his part. It happens, especially nowadays, with a much broader definition of family. Think about it, some people have gatherings that include their ex-spouse, maybe their current spouse’s ex, children, step children, and on it goes. With this blended world, this type of mistake can happen.
That said, this comes down to trust. You don’t mention whether or not you trust your husband implicitly or not. Do you? If so, we wouldn’t worry about it. However, if there have been other situations or instances where you’ve questioned his judgment or have been suspicious of his behavior, then this might not be an isolated incident.
To us, it comes down to the state of your relationship. If it’s solid, don’t worry about it, and accept his apology and move on. If your relationship isn’t solid, well, then you might need to have a longer conversation with him and go from there.
What do you think? Do you have any other follow-up questions?
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