Nice, flirty, interested; how do you tell?

Hi Guys,

I have wondered about the question above, since I’ve been divorced for six years.  There is a man that has been coming into my work center for a few years now. We engage in the normal pleasantries and for the past six months he has been very
attentive to me. He lives in another state. We don’t talk long, as he has to prep his work area down the hall, then leaves on a flight.

He always comes to my area, smiles, jokes around and asks what my plans are for the weekend; the next week he asks if I did the activity I planned. He says some really sweet things like it made his week to see his favorite agent, or it wouldn’t be worth coming here if I wasn’t there. He is not afraid to be vocal when he says these things. A lot of people won’t give me the time of day due to my profession, but he isn’t afraid of speaking or being seen with me.

I don’t know if he’s married, no ring, but that doesn’t mean anything. I am very shy and am not good at flirting but I tell him how nice he looks etc. We just click and I think I have a bit of a crush on him. I was thinking of writing a short note to tell him how much I admire him and the aforementioned qualities. I don’t want to hurt our passing friendship, so I won’t say how I feel when I see him. I really don’t know what to do and I don’t want to read anything into it but that he just like teasing me, for fun.

What do you think I should do? Should I let him know by note that he’s a wonderful person or is that going to make him
uncomfortable?  I don’t ever want to do that. How do you tell? It seems like such a fine line.


Dear Ann,

Thanks for your question. Now you got us curious. What do you do for work? (Can you even tell us?) Why would people not talk to you because of it? (And it’s a good sign that he does.)

You are so right when you say this is a fine line. It always is. The fact that these interactions are happening at work is also factoring into the equation. It’s one thing to ask a woman out at a bar, it’s quite another to ask a woman out at work—even someone you work with occasionally. It’s all about implications and consequences. It’s one thing to get rejected at a bar, it’s quite another to have a work relationship blow up in your face. So as we answer your question, this variable has to be considered.

Ann, it’s time to be a detective. It might help your decision if you knew more about this guy. Is there anyone you can ask? Can you google him? The other way to glean information is hint around without actually saying it. For example: After he asks you what your plans are for the weekend, you could say something like, “So what are you doing this weekend? Are you taking your girlfriend out on the town?” You can get away with this if you say it in a flirty, joking kind of way. (We know you say you aren’t great at flirting, but we’re confident you can do this.) Based on his answer you will probably learn a lot. You might say to yourself, “Well, won’t it be obvious that I’m sniffing around?” And our answer is: Yes. But that’s not a bad thing. He’ll get a better sense of where you stand. So instead of writing him a note telling him how you feel, start by doing it in a circuitous, flirty way. If you learn he has a wife or serious girlfriend, then you’ll know his visits are strictly friendly. And if they’re not, then you’ll learn something about his character because that means he’s being deceitful, and trying to cheat on his partner.

The other tricky part of this is the fact that he lives in another state. He might be very interested in you, but not be interested in a long distance relationship. But if he got to know you better, he might change his mind on that. So question for you: What time of day does he come in? Would it be possible to take your break around the time he visits? Or go to lunch? We see no reason why you couldn’t ask him if he’d like to grab a coffee, or go to lunch. Yes, it might be a little forward, but it would break the ice a bit. And once you were away from your work environment, both of you might open up a bit.

If none of our suggestions work, and you’re still feeling like you want to reach out to him, then yes, a short note revealing your feelings would be okay. And if he doesn’t reciprocate, well, then the fact that you don’t see him that often will actually play in your favor because he won’t be around every day to remind you of the rejection.

So start by trying to investigate a little and see what happens. Be patient. Give this another month or so, and if things don’t progress with Plan A, go to Plan B. But remember, once things get rolling, he needs to be the one to take the initiative. It’s okay to break the ice, but after that, he’s got to be the one making the moves. (Asking you out on a proper date, etc.) Otherwise you’ll still be wondering where he really stands.

We hope this helps. Ask as many follow up questions as you’d like. Now, or a month or two from now. Leave us a comment/question in the comments section below.

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Good luck,


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50 Comments on Nice, flirty, interested; how do you tell?

  1. a year ago my boyfriend was with his ex for about four years, it was his first serious relationship/love. she was cheating on him for a while when they were dating. after he found out, they broke up. after the break up we starting talking and surely we instantly fell for each other. everything was going great but then slowly going down hill. after 3 months of dating he told me he loved me and wanted everything with me but then that was fading. I would find out he would be talking to her behind my back or she would call him on private and even msg each other thru facebook. he would tell me he wasn’t sure if he was truly in love with me, that he needed some time for himself. after that i stopped talking to him and i started to go on dates with one of my friends close friend. as soon as he found out he told me he loves me and he wanted to be with me. we went back together it was going fine and then again they were communicating behind my back. I told him I was tired of it and hes lost my trust. he told me she has a way to pull him. his ex was obviously with the guy she was cheating on him with. but she wanted to be with him, knowing he was trying to be with me. he finally told me he wants to put it all in the past and move forward with me. its been a yr and a half now and things have been great, he shows how much loves me and of course I have my moments of insecurity from time to time. he lets me go thru his phone or FB account if whenever I question about me trusting him. he tells me I shouldnt worry , its all in the past now. sometimes I get stuck in the past and worry he might not be over her….its difficult to trust him since hes broke my trust several times before. so how do I know if hes over her or if I should completely trust him

  2. @Colette….You don’t really. If you want to be in a relationship with this guy then you have no choice but to believe him. And this is the problem with cheating. Once the trust is broken it’s really hard to get back. Do you think he’s properly earned your trust back? He’s open with his phone and other online correspondence, but something is bugging you. What is it? Is he doing something that’s making you question him? Cheaters fall into two camps. 1st. Someone who does it once, learns their lesson and grows from it. Their cheating has much to do with the situation. 2nd. Someone who cheats their whole life. Their cheating has to do with something going on internally. With #2, those people have a very difficult time changing their behavior. So which camp is he? Tell us your thoughts.

  3. I really like this guy at my gym. I constantly catch him looking at me. The extended eye contact and body language suggest he’s interested but he’s not asking me out. I could totally be misreading the signs or is it true that guys won’t ask a girl out at the gym? Also, he saw me with my daughter (I’m a single mother), do guys automatically assume if they see a woman with children she’s married? Would they still approach her and find out if they really liked her? Can I safely assume if he’s not asking he’s either attached or uninterested?

  4. @Hannah….There could be a multitude of reasons he’s not approaching you. 1. He thinks you’re married. 2. He’s attached himself. 3. He doesn’t want to date a woman with a child. 4. He’s not really interested. 5. He’s shy. 6. He likes going to the gym and doesn’t want to make it potentially awkward if you reject him. 7. He’s not sure what you’re thinking. Why don’t you strike up a conversation with him? Or give him a reason to talk to you. But don’t ask him out. Let him be the one to initiate. Otherwise, you’ll never know what he’s really thinking. Your thoughts? Does this help? ps. Please let your friends know about our site. Share on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, etc. We appreciate it. Thanks!

  5. There is this guy I have known for a while, Aaron. He is my best guy friends best friend. We have hung out and stuff before, but he lives about an hour away so we don’t see him a lot. I always thought he was nice and good looking, but when we would hang out in a group we didn’t talk at all. Recently he moved back home and moved in with my best guy friend at his new place, so he is constantly around. One night we happen to be partying pretty hard and at the end of the night he asked if I wanted to sleep with him. I said okay, but that I just wanted to cuddle and sleep, he said whatever I wanted was fine. He asked me if this was just a drunken mistake for me, which for the record I had just assumed it was a drunk cuddle session, as I was sort of shocked at the question I just asked if it was for him. He said no, he had always been interested in me but thought I had never liked him. Turns out my best guy friend told him that I did not like him. We cuddled, talked and kissed all night until he had to get up for work at 8. My best guy friend can be a little jealous of me with other guys. When we were all in the kitchen the next morning it was obvious that he was upset, since then he never wants to leave us alone and makes excuses to tag along with us everywhere. After then I notice Aaron keeping closer to me, being more attentive to me and things like that. A couple nights later I ended up having sex with him. I have been known to fall for a guy quite quickly. I like to tell myself I have a good heart and too easily believe the same of others. Anyyywho, the sex was great. It was romantic, he cared about how I was feeling, we had a great cuddle session afterward and I fell asleep in his arms.We woke up and spent a couple hours together before he got called into work. I’ve seen him everyday since then as well. I don’t really want a serious boyfriend as I have work, a full college schedule and I’m young and like to party.. not really enough time to put the effort I would like into something serious. On the other hand, I don’t like to share so I want some sort of commitment. What do you guys think? Should I keep going with the flow and just see what happens? Or are his intentions obvious and he already got what he wanted and its time to move on?

  6. @Hannah……Why wouldn’t you keep going? You like him, right? And it seems he likes you. Are you trying to protect yourself? We say, it’s way too early to do anything rash one way or another. Go with the flow, see what happens. It may or may not work out, but there’s no reason to make any hasty decisions. He seems interested. Time will tell how interested. As per your guy friend. Obviously he has some sort of crush on you as well. You might need to chat with him about what’s going on, otherwise he may grow very resentful. Nothing like being the third wheel you know? Your thoughts? ps. Please share our site with your friends. Share on Facebook, Twitter, etc. We appreciate it. Thanks!

  7. So here is my more or less relate question. I go to a local sport complex on a regular bases. A while ago I started noticing a cute guy quite often and got interested into him. Good news is that he actually approached and for a while acted like he was interested too, but the bad news is that since I am quit shy person with excessive amount of pride, I may acted little uptight and not interested since didn’t want to look too flattered or desperate, besides was not sure he was really interested or just a nice guy. As a logical consequence of this he kind of stopped flirting and was almost completely ignoring me. I was planning to make a move and show him that I was interested. Apparently I waited for a proper moment too long, he have not showed up to the complex for the last 3-4 weeks. And I don’t have any kind of contact information, know just his name, which is not a big help for finding him. And here is the question I need your advice about. I still see his very good friend , which I don’t know (lol, made a strategic mistake not getting know his friends while I had a chance)and who is my only chance of getting to my crush. So i was wondering how I approach the “friend” and inquire about my “crush” without making “friend” think that I m flirting with him as well as without looking too much interested in my “crush”. I have a couple of plans , first get to know his friend, boldly show interest about the crush and hope that friend “delivers message” to “crush” and than if he is interested he will do the rest of work and the second plan is to befriend his friend, quietly find out necessary info about my crush and than “accidentally bump” onto my crush somewhere. So my question is which one is easily doable and if you have any further / specific suggestions.any feedback will be greatly appreciated. And on general how average guy reacts on that kid of situation, does it worth to try or ive to just let go. Oh and for clearer picture, we both are in out mid twenties ( I know the situation sounds childish but still …)

  8. @Linda….No, it doesn’t sound childish; it sounds like a lot of situations we hear about. If you try to “befriend” this guy’s friend, this friend might think you’re into him and misinterpret your advances. We also think that approach would take longer, and the only reason you’d be doing that is to save face. (But that approach feels a lot like high school.) We prefer the direct approach. Go up to his friend, hand him your business card—with your number on it—and say, “I didn’t get a chance to give your friend my number when I spoke to him. If he’d like to call me, here it is.” Risks with this approach: He’s not interested, and thus your ego might be bruised. You’d also have to deal with possible awkward feelings from both of these guys if it doesn’t work out. You might not totally know how interested he actually is. In most cases we encourage the woman to let the guy initiate. In this case, you don’t have much choice. Possible upsides with this approach: You cut right to the chase; and so if he’s interested he’ll call right away because it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’d go out with him at least once. (Guys love a sure thing since they have to take so many risks to ask girls out.) This approach also erases any confusion as to why you’re approaching this other guy. What do you think? Of course we’re not guaranteeing any particular outcome, but this approach will certainly save you time and energy.

  9. Haha… Just picturing that situation almost gave me an anxiety attack. If I do that I either die from embarrassment when I hand in the number or when he calls (or does not call ).

  10. @Linda…..Too funny!! Well, that’s why you process this kind of thing ahead of time. Then it sounds like you’re going to have to go with plan B. Although, that sounds pretty complicated. But you gotta do what you gotta do. Or who knows, maybe he’ll show up again and plan C will take effect. Good luck and keep us posted. Ask another question anytime. ps. Please share our site with friends. Thanks. We appreciate it. Be on the lookout for our relaunch coming in a few days. We hope!

  11. Hi
    I think my boss is trying to start something. I started this job about 5 months ago and we have gone from subtlely checking each other out to flirting until I found out abt a month ago that he has a gf. But recently while lunching together he said his girlfriends (note the plural form) has been getting him to commit without success. He calls himself an old playboy but I notice that he likes to paint a bad boy picture of himself eg. Sort porn, visit prostitutes. He’s open abt liking and admiring good looking women. He’s charming, kind and patient. I don’t know if his attentions on me are pure friendliness, flirting or he’s considering adding me to his stable of girlfriends. I’m shy and had 2 failed relAtionships and plenty of crushes. Sounds pathetic. What should I do?

  12. Sorry I meant surf porn but I think it was said in jest. I’m not sure why he puts himself down this way-self destructive behaviour? I’m grateful to him for the job opportunity as I lack relevant experience. I’m not sure if this gratitude is affecting my judgment.

  13. @Fee……It is. Affecting your judgement that is. First of all, if you start something with him and it doesn’t work out, what will happen to your job? Do you think you’ll just go back to the way it was? We doubt it. Also, why would you want to become part of his stable of girlfriends? This isn’t the Playboy mansion and he’s not Hugh Hefner. This is the real world. We don’t think that would make you very happy. Our suggestion: Be friendly, but dial the flirting and other behavior back. Nothing good is going to come of this. Your thoughts? ps. Putting himself down is a ruse to make you feel more affection towards him. Like he’s wounded or something. We’re not buying it.

  14. On the weekends I go to my friends house and hang out with a guy, we fool around each time. We kiss and hug and just have a good time. He acts like he wants a relationship when we are together. We live an hour away from each other, so when I go to her house, he always tells me to let him know. When I left the first time we hung out we had texted the whole week after. We made plans to go to the movies that next weekend. When the weekend rolled around I called and text and he never replied or answered. We went for a week without talking. The next weekend, I went to her house without telling him and seen him out in public and he came up and was like “hey! Why didn’t you tell me you came in?” And acted like nothing happened. I asked him what happened last Saturday and he said he was busy all day and didn’t get to do anything. He realized I was mad and he apologized and admitted that he should have let me know. I gave him another chance, so we hung out that weekend. That was 2 days ago, and he hasn’t texted me. Sunday, the day I left, I texted him and he never replied. What should I do? Should I text him again? Should I just forget about him? Or should I just not worry about it? I need help!!

  15. @Brittany………This sounds like a perfect situation for a guy who doesn’t want a relationship, but wants sex with no strings attached. If he’s not talking during the week; if he doesn’t return your calls/texts quickly; if he doesn’t want to take you out on the town or introduce you to his friends and family, he’s not interested in anything but sex and maybe some fun occasionally. So is that okay with you? Your thoughts?

  16. I don’t want to be used just f

  17. *i don’t want to be used just for sex. I really like him, and could see myself being with him. But when I’m around him, I can’t turn him down. It’s like my common sense Is gone, and I do whatever he wants. I don’t want to be lead on, but I don’t want to have to quit taking to him. He’s actually fun to be around, and I can be myself. It’s different with him. What do I do?

  18. @Brittany…….. Let’s say he had the same personality—fun, etc.—but you weren’t attracted to him, basically you wouldn’t care about not hanging out with him much. What we’re saying is, the reason you want to keep talking with him is because you want something more with him. But if he’s not going to give it to you—which we don’t think he will—then you need to figure out how to say no to him, or stop hanging out with him. But of course, this is ultimately up to you. Keep us posted and take care.

  19. I don’t think I’m going to talk to him anymore. If he does talk to me, I’m not going to give him a second chance. I know this is crazy, but I was at school, I’m a junior in high school. And a guy that I don’t talk to often came up to me in the hall way and was talking to me and asked me to the movies this weekend. The bell rung and I had to leave so I said yes, and went to class. He doesn’t text, and we don’t have any classes together. We don’t have any set plans, just that he asked me and I said yes. Should I go up to him and ask about what the plans are, or wait for him to mention it to me?

  20. @Brittany…..Wait for him to take the initiative. Keep us posted and good luck. Have fun.

  21. So here I am again. Good news is that I didn’t have to pass my number to him through his friend since he started showing up to that complex again. But there is a bad news as well. So when he showed up first time, I “accidently” ran onto him and initiated a conversation during which figured out that he was busy at work and that’s why he disappeared for a while but from now on he is back. he said that he was glad to see me again an looked like he meant it. But since then every time I see him he ignores me , even does not say hi. First I got pieced off assumed that he was not interested plus was a rude ,impolite jerk and I start avoidig the placrs where i I could run onto him. But he always browses where I am and see him checking me out quit often, but every time I look back at him to say hi or smile he gets himself “busy” with something and acts like he doesn’t see me. So I am confused, I am quit good looking, educated , professionally successful girl and most of the guys around me trying to get my attention , so I don’t get why he totally ignores me And at the same time tries to stick into my sight. I definitely have not annoyed him or anything. I don’t think that he is too shy either to have hard time to talk to me. So do you have any less self esteem damaging suggestion how to proceed with this guy. I don’t want to give up yet 🙂

  22. @Linda……..Nice to hear from you. We’re glad you didn’t have an anxiety attack!! If this guy isn’t brave enough to come up and talk to you and ask you out then he’s not mature enough to go out with. That’s how we see it. We think you’ve given him every indication that you would be open to his advances. And he’s done nothing about it. So we can surmise only two things. 1. He’s not interested. 2. He’s scared. We don’t see any other possibility. As hard as it may be, we think you still need to let him be the one to initiate. Otherwise you’ll never really know how interested he is even if he agrees to grab coffee or dinner with you. We’d give this another few weeks or so—at the most through the holidays— and then you might want to think about moving on. Fair? What do you think?

  23. Thanks for the response. Not sure how fair it is but, I don’t think I have another choice besides staying nice and interested for a couple of more weeks. Ugh, you guys are hard to understand lol.what is the point of acting interested sweat guy at first and then out of nowhere becoming ignorant jerk.

  24. @Linda……There is one more possibility: That he’s used to having his way with women and he’s waiting for you to approach him. Which means, he’s not the kind of guy you want. He’d be a nightmare boyfriend. Good luck. We’re sorry this is complicated. Let us know what happens.

  25. Dear THE GUYS (or at least one of you),

    I’m very confused about this guy that I like at work. Let’s call him R. So long story short, I met him at my skating job(where I work alone with him every friday). We’re both 18, and this is a part-time job….just some background information.Obviously for the first few fridays it was a little awkward, because I literally did not know him at all. Then eventually we started goofing off together before anyone showed up (dancing to the music,laughing together etc.)and then he starts walking me out of work 24/7. This starts to make me feel weird because the first time I had ever saw him, I thought he was extremely cute, but I figured, “Wow, he’s totally out of my league…and he could never possibly like a girl like me.” So the next Friday rolls around, and I have NO idea what happened(or what changed in him for that matter), because once I get to the arena, he’s usually sitting on the side reading posters. Instead, he was nowhere to be found, so I walk into the arena and his stuff is sitting in the penalty box on my usual side. So I sit down waiting and he comes up from behind me and is like, “Where were you? What door did you come from…I was waiting for you!” And I start smiling like a giddy school girl, because I just found that to be so sweet. Throughout the night he continues to make silly faces at me, whisper boo! over my shoulder and ask questions–particularly about other days that I work, and what kind of music I’m interested in. (We bonded over music actually, and I found out that we both play guitar.) Suddenly, I recieve a text from my mother stating that she’s going to be really late (there was an emergency at her work.) R hears me groan, and asks what’s wrong, and the second I tell him, he says that he can give me a ride anytime. To cut things short, yes, he drove me home and it was a little nervewracking, but I still found myself to feel very comfortable, and this is coming from a girl who’s never had a boyfriend before. I also caught him saying silly things in the car and then clearly asking!
    out loud why he said those things (giving me the hint that he was just as nervous.) Then as the next Friday (which happened to be this past Friday) arrives, I’m super excited, because there’s a meeting–meaning more time to spend with R. After the meeting, I make a joke and say, “I’m bored!” He replies with, “Ok, let’s go somewhere!” And just like that we’re both heading out the door into the parking lot. Once we’re in his car, we’re joking about where to go, and he decides on a nearby instrument store. We go in and spend fifteen minutes laughing, and playing together, while looking at all of the guitars. Now before we skip over the actual work part of the night, I want to shed light on something he said to me as we were setting up pylons. My hair had been down, and he skates over to the other side of the rink for a second, and (just because it was in my face) I decide to put my hair in a low bun. When he returns he looks at my face right away and says, “Woah, did you just put your hair up? (This was a silly but flattering question.) I tell him yes, shyly, to which he replies, “You never have your hair up at work.” And he just stares at me. Now let’s skip forward, work is done and he’s walking me out once again. This time, I have not recieved a text from my mom, but she is not there. As I’m trying to spot her car in the parking lot, he offers to drive me home once again. This was music to my ears, but I asked him if he was sure it was alright because he’d already driven me around far too much. He told me it was no problem and that my house was on the way. Now let’s fast forward to R opening the trunk in front of my house, there was a moment between the both of us, like neither of us wanted to leave, yet I got nervous and said goodbye, while saying a couple of jokes. And just as I was walking away he said a quiet joke–but I know he intended for me to hear it. I really felt like he didn’t want me to leave, but we ended up saying goodnight and he told me he’d see me this coming friday. So my question/s to!
    you guy
    s are: Why has he not tried to get my number from me? (I’ve had my phone out infront of him before…but unsuccessful.) And yes, technically we both have each other’s numbers in a booklet for work purposes, but I’ve never texted him before because I think that would be very creepy (socially) if I were to do so. Two days ago, I became really frustrated and just added him on facebook, because he didn’t even try to do that. I have no idea what to think, because I know that rule: A guy will make it happen….usually. All I know is that I don’t want him to friend-zone me because I really like him, and I can’t stand not talking to him for the six other days of the week. Thank you for your time, I know that this was absolute torture to read!


  26. @Tara…..Not torture at all. Thanks for your question. Well, we hate to give you a short response to such a long question but here goes: You need to let him initiate any sort of contact outside of work. Otherwise you’re not going to know what his true intentions are. If he puts you in the friend-zone, well at least you’ll know where you stand. We know it’s hard to be patient, but this sounds promising. Unless of course he’s just flirting with you for fun. Is he a shy kind of guy? We’re trying to figure out why he’s not asking you out. Does he think you have a boyfriend? Have you hinted enough that you’d be open to his advances? Fill us in a bit. ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Thanks. On Facebook and Twitter. @TGPBuzz. And take a moment to VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks.

  27. Thanks so much for the response! (I will for sure share this site!) And you know what? Two weeks ago, when we were leaving work he made a joke about going home to just play guitar and I tried to hint that I didn’t have a boyfriend, by stating that I was going to go and watch a movie by myself and have a jolly girls night by myself…as sad as that sounds haha (but we laughed together about it). So technically no, the “boyfriend/girlfriend” conversation has not been brought up yet. Also, I do get kind of nervous about being “super” open with my advances ( a lot of my friends tell me that what I think is open, is barely noticeable to a guy.) I really don’t know how to get over that bump, I’m an extremely social person, I just have a lot of trouble being forward with guys that I like, but if they’re flirty towards me, I can flirt back no problem. Also, not to sound creepy-but I did a tiny bit of creeping on his fb profile (who doesn’t?) and the only pics I saw of him were with this girl from prom, but there were no kissing pictures or anything…? (Literally nothing.) His profile picture is of him and his two brothers, so I think he could have had a previous girlfriend..or maybe not? I’m really not sure, but it gives me such anxiety waiting until Friday, wondering how he’ll act this time. Do you have any theories about the phone number situation, and why he hasn’t tried to get it (even in a friendly manner)? <That's also the main factor that confuses me, let's just say for a minute, he doesn't like me…………….but we hang out and flirt? What is that? I know for a fact that he's not a player, in fact he just seems WAY too nice.

    p.s. one more question to add on: He's driven me 3 times already–twice home–is that still considered him doing me a favour?


  28. @Tara…….Well, he sounds single. So now the question is how does he see you. So here are a few basic reasons he may not be moving forward with this. 1. Guys usually have a sense of how attracted they are to a woman at the moment they meet. Which translates into the potential they see, or don’t see, with that particular woman. Your first thought was, “This guy is totally out of my league.” Not to get too personal, but could you explain? (We’re trying to figure out why he’s acting how he’s acting.) Because one possible reason he’s not making any moves is because he’s not sure about that piece of things. (But we don’t know either of you so we don’t even want to guess.) 2. He’s 18. He’s young. And not that confident in who he is. He sees this attractive, smart, witty girl and he’s not quite sure how to move forward with this. Young guys often pretend they know everything, but inside they’re like little school boys looking for approval. (We know) 3. You’re very different than the girls he’s used to so he’s still trying to figure out what’s going on for him…….These are all theories Tara, but the truth may be a bit more nebulous and undefined. You’re going to have to be patient until Friday. Flirt with him, try to make it obvious you’re interested without going overboard, and just see what happens. Please resist your urge to get his phone number. He should ask you for yours. ps. Driving you home is a good sign. It’s not a favor. He wants to do it. (One last question: What kind of clothes do you two wear to work? We’re just wondering if you could spice it up a bit, without being over the top? Or would that be totally inappropriate for work? We’re talking classy, but maybe on the slightly sexier side. But not too revealing. Guys don’t totally respect that even if they think it’s hot.)

  29. Ok, so what I mean by “out of my league” is (and trust me I’ve actually never felt this way before about a guy) but he’s this tall, blonde, hockey player. I’m 5”5, brunette and artsy….also, I should add that the thought of him being out of my league is kind of disappearing the more I get to know him. He apparently from his photos was this band geek, and also plays saxophone. I think his nerdy side comes out when he’s with me–which I think he likes. I think you might be right about #3, because I just have this feeling deep in my gut that I’m WAY different from the other girls he’s hung out with. Also, sometimes I worry that I’m too loud and a little too silly with him. There are times when I’ll try to tone it down (to not scare him off) but when I tone it down he just becomes really silly, so I don’t really know what to do there….? That’s actually something I’m quite nervous about that I feel has turned him off–my craziness. Also, about my work clothes, I’ve actually been dressing really nicely every Friday night (I mean as much as I can–we patrol in a skating arena, and need to wear construction vests, so I rely on my hair to make me look nice. Lol) Thoughts? Comments? (Also, I’m taking your advice and refraining from asking for his number..) Sincerely, Tara
    P.s. thank you so much for your time…seriously you are all amazing.

  30. @Tara….Thanks for filling us in. It’s funny, we thought he was probably an athletic guy and you were an artsy girl. But we didn’t want to guess and be totally wrong. You also threw us when you said, “out of my league” instead of “much different than me.” We can say if he’s attracted to you and likes you, he doesn’t care that you’re silly or crazy. Really. That’s not a deal breaker at all. So stop worrying about that. The best advice we can give you is BE YOURSELF. That way if he does pursue you he knows what he’s getting. As per your clothes. Sounds like you’re doing what you can. Good idea with your hair. Let us know how it goes on Friday. And thanks for your kinds words. Please tell all of your friends about us. And spread the word on Facebook/Twitter. @TGPBuzz.

  31. hey guys thank u for the effort and hard work…quite an interesting site..
    i’ve seen a guy at a friends house with his sister n this was last year…bout two months ago we started talking on facebook… it was all normal in the thn i felt that he wud praise me alot and mention that he never met somone as clever as me at this age… he asks bout ma family and bout my life..he nicknames me ‘beautiful’.. n recntly strtd talking bout the beauty that lies inside n stuff like dat…talks bout his family alot and his plans …he always starts the conversation n talks about his day and wt he plans to do….last time he said dat his sister n i should get to know one another and dat we cud b really good friends..we did contact one another n she is really nice.. He keeps asking when i’m coming to the city as he already knows we’ll be there in new year..i do like him n was wondering if he does..guys always say somhig bt we always misundertand dem….lemme know ur opinion on dis pleaseeee…

  32. @Deena……Did you see our response? On the post: Looking for a guy who is emotionally available? Check it out. We asked you some questions. Please respond and we’ll get back to you. ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. thanks. Follow us at: @TGPBUzz

  33. ALRIGHT!! Some very exciting things happened tonight with R, guys! I want to know what you think. First of all some of his high school friends showed up at the rink. (I was a little upset because R was skating around with this one girl for almost ten minutes.) Not going to lie, I was very jealous, but I kept it under control. Anyways, while taking iff our skates he began to tell me that he was finally going to have something to do on a Friday night–(and he kept looking at me…almost as if to seem mysterious, and I could tell that he really wanted me to ask him what he was upto.) Then I ask him, and he tells me he’s going out for wings with his friend and older brother. We laugh, and then I tell him I have an exam next Friday so I won’t be able to make it to work, and then he gives me a really sad face and asks why–so I told him. Then as we’re walking out, we bump into his friends again (and I soon realize that he wasn’t flirting with that girl and I just completely get the vibe that they WEREN’T interested in each other.) Fast forwarding now, his friends ask if he wants to go to a coffee shop, and so I’m about to go to the washroom to dry my skates (and R starts to say goodbye–and actually sounds really sad) but then I decide that I’ll dry them when I get home. He notices the fact that I continue walking with him, and then immediately invites me to the coffee house with him and his friends. Skipping forward, I say yes, we get to the coffee house (also as we’re getting out of the car, he states that he can drive me home) and step in line with his friends. Then I end up buying myself and him a hot chocolate. Side note: as we’re standing in line, I notice Christmas CDs and freak out, because I love Christmas music. He laughs and says “Alright, in two weeks, when I drive you home again, we’ll blast Christmas music.” So, we literally chat with his friends for like two hours, and then when the coffee place closes, we all go and hang out outside in the parking lot. And just as R turns his car on to warm it up, his idiot friend is like, “DUDE, YOU can just warm her up…” and it became awkward for like 2 seconds and I make a face at him and R looks at the ground. Anyways, he drives me home and (there was a little less talking than usual, but it wasn’t awkward–it was totally fine.) He then gets out of the car to open the trunk and we just literally have this 2 second moment of kinda standing there making jokes, and I really didn’t want to leave, and (I hope) he didn’t either. Also, he did happen to mention his ex ONCE tonight, and all he said was, “Yeah, I was mad at my ex once and started swerving the car and she had motion sickness.” He said this because he swerved when we went into the parking lot and I was laughing. All I know is that I like him even more..(but still wondering why he hasn’t gotten my phone number yet.) And I just wanted to hear your thought on the night. Thanks!

  34. @Tara….It sounds like you’re getting closer to figuring out what’s going on. And certainly this is a positive step forward. (First time you’ve actually gone out, right?) Question: Did he try and kiss you at all? We’re confused about the trunk? Do you mean he walked around and opened your door? ……..Obviously he’s talked to his friends about you, otherwise his friend wouldn’t have made that comment. What he’s actually said to them is unclear though. Meaning, has he said he’s totally hot for this girl at the rink, or has he said that he’s met this artsy girl who’s really cool? (Of course that’s the million dollar question.) We think this sounds positive, but we have a suggestion. Don’t pay for him again. (How did that actually come about? You paying.) We know you two are young and not loaded with cash, but he should be offering. That wold help you gauge how interested he is. Unless he was clueless about these sorts of things, which we don’t think he is. Bottom line: Sounds like a fun night. Maybe this will bolster his confidence and he’ll actually ask you to do something WITHOUT his friends. Keep us posted and ask as many questions as you’d like. Good luck and have fun.

  35. Dear Guys,

    Hi, sorry it took so long to respond…exams. I’ve realized that my last post was extremely complicated so I’m going to try and answer your questions better! 🙂 First of all, no, that was not the first time that I’ve “gone out” with him. I mean, technically I’ve never actually “gone out” with him, because he’s never asked me out, but we’ve been out together. Two weeks before, we had a meeting two hours before work (and my boss ended it early) so we decided to go to the music store together–and we hung out for like 15 minutes, playing together etc. Alright moving on to your next question about the trunk. No, he did not open my door (my bag was in his trunk so he came around the back and opened it for me), and we were joking around, and I got this HUGE vibe that he didn’t want me to go…and I didn’t want him to go either. Don’t get me wrong, I know I could be totally wrong, and I could have just felt that “vibe” because I like him and it might have been just wishful thinking. And about his friend saying that comment…R told me while we were skating how the guy is very sexual and (weird)….for example, apparently he makes up stories about getting with yeah–yes, he’s that kind of guy–and from the way R was talking about him to me, I don’t think they’re THAT close. I just think he said it because we were both together the entire time at the coffee shop. Now as for the paying…actually, I was discussing it with my parents (I’m extremely classy like that haha)and they said that because he’s driven me so many times, I need to do a little something in return, and I completely agreed. So that’s why I paid, but yes, I agree, I’m going to wait until he pays for me now. Alright, now that everything has been cleared up (I hope…sorry if this is unbelievably confusing), I have a bit of an update on this entire situation. It’s about texting. So, the day after that the coffee shop outing–which would be the Saturday of last week, R texts me (and like I said before, he’s had my number on a work contact list since September, yet he’s never texted me) and then he JUST so happens to! The downside to this, is that he was texting me to ask if I was able to cover a shift for which I said I could. He replies with a “Thanks your the best! :)” Seriously, now I’m really confused and sitting here on the verge of tears. My intuition is telling me he likes me….but then I stop and think, well then why the hell hasn’t he texted me about anything else? We only get to see each other once a week, so should I still be patient? I mean, why does he volunteer to drive me home 24/7 or take me to a music store, or invite me out with his friends? I don’t know what to do, and I really like him…I’m sorry, this is probably the most stressed-out message I’ve sent you guys….but I’ll take anything you guys have to say into consideration, because you’re all gurus. Sincerely, Tara

  36. @Tara…..Yes, you seem stressed-out. This has come down to letting him initiate on all fronts. Because if he is interested, he’s certainly taking his sweet time about it. You have made it obvious right? That you’re interested in him? Right? It seems that you have. So we can only surmise that he’s completely clueless or not interested in anything other than friendship with you. (The only other possibility is that he doesn’t want to mix work and dating. But frankly, this usually only applies to someone older who has an actual career, and doesn’t want to jeopardize that. We’re sorry. We wish we could give you the key to figuring this out, but it’s a wait-and-see. One suggestion: If the New Year comes and nothing has happened we think you need to dial your emotions back if you can, and try to see what else is out there. Good luck and definitely keep us posted. Ask as many questions as you’d like. And thanks for sharing our site with all of your friends.

  37. Hi guys! I REALLY need your help a guys perspective on this one. I’ll try to keep this short but I am basically SO completely confused by this guy at my work. I have worked at my current job for close to a year and a half and he got hired around the same time as me. From the moment I saw him I felt an instant connection with him. But in the entire time we have worked together he has not made an effort to talk to me. But I have catched him looking at me so many times I have lost count. Not just a glance he works security so he will be walking around and I’ll see him. He’s watched me for periods of time like maybe a few minutes do the most random things at the makeup counter I work at. The first time he talked to me he noticed that I had gotten a new tattoo and complimented me. The second time he talked to me was very recent. I have been in school and I havent been working a lot. I noticed he was walking in the juniors department which is right next to the counter I work at. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him stop and look over at me.
    Then I saw him coming towards me at the makeup counter I work at so I said hello to him. He had asked me where I had been. I told him how I had been at school and that I graduated last week. He then asked me what school I went to and told me congratulations. That was the entire conversation. Then as I was leaving for the night he was in the security area and he told me good night it was nice seeing you today. I said the same back to him. It has been almost a few weeks since that happened. Other than a few hey whats up hows it going he hasn’t made any conversation with me. He’s very hard to talk to I want to talk to him more but he always seems like he has somewhere to go when I want to talk to him more. Another thing you should probably know is that he is a really good looking guy. There is a lot of rumors about him at work. Unfortunately I think a lot of them are true. Basically he sleeps around with a lot of the girls at work. I think 5 are true there’s at least 5 more that are a maybe. Also the girls he sleeps with aren’t pretty their very average looking some are ugly and don’t even have good personalities. Maybe if I describe myself some this will help you give advice. I don’t mean to toot my own horn or anything but I’m a good looking girl I would say my looks are as good as his. We are also the same nationality which is rare to find because I am a very unique mix. We are also 1 year apart in age. I’m so sorry for my long question but I REALLY need help with this one. What do I make of all of this what would you think if you were me and what should I do??? Any advice will be so greatly appreciated I am so desperate for any answers thanks again!

  38. @Tiana…….The fact that you work together complicates things a bit. (So how old are the two of you?) He does sound like he’s interested, so there are a few explanations for his reticence to approach you. From what you describe of his past behavior, and what you describe of yourself, it’s possible he views you differently than his previous “conquests.” If so, he’s not quite sure how to approach you. It’s likely he sees you as someone with relationship potential. But he also might be the kind of guy that can’t handle dating someone who’s on the same “level” as him. And that’s why he goes for women who aren’t as good looking as him. (Not that we’re saying that’s the only reason someone would date someone. But for the sake of your question it’s relevant.) Also, he’s got to be careful. He could lose his job if he’s caught fraternizing with other employees. (Although that doesn’t seem to bother him too much) Our suggestion: Try to make it obvious that you might be interested. Not in sleeping with him, but going out on a date to just see. Ask him some questions the next time he approaches you. Tell him about yourself. Etc. But DON’T initiate going out. That’s got to be up to him. If he’s not confident enough to ask you out, then he’s not worth pursuing. Thoughts? Any other questions? Ask We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter; @TGPBuzz. And take a moment to help a fellow reader. Please VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks!

  39. Hey Guys,

    Yes it’s me again (the skating boy situation). Alright, so since so much has happened, I am literally going to make things very to the point. So, three weeks ago R texted me on the weekend and asked me out (and no we’ve never spoken on the phone, it’s always been texting. Then he follows up on like the tuesday and we both figure out the time and the day, so we decide that upcoming friday (right after work). Ok, done..settled. We had set a date, and I was very excited. Friday rolls around…(long story short) neither of us say a word about the date in the beginning, and we both are very nervous. Then once we start patrolling things become a little more comfortable, but I notice that he’s afraid to touch me. (Quick side note: the friday before he asked me out, we were being VERY flirty with each other, which consisted of poking me, skating shoulder to shoulder, me hugging him while skating….which led to him gathering the courage to open his arms for a hug when he dropped me off at my house.) Ok back to the “date” friday. I noticed something was a little off with him, and he kept yawning…and yes, I understand that the average person has an off day, so I just let it slide as to why he wasn’t as energetic as he usually was. Anyway, as we’re skating he informs me that his friends are coming to skate tonight (yes, the exact friends that I had been out with before with R.) So I didn’t think anything of it. Let’s fast forward now. Where I work, there’s an outdoor rink which R sometimes works at after our work on Fridays, and he didn’t have that work the night of our date, but I asked him if he wanted to go skating there after work, and he said yes. Fast forward. His friends arrive, we’re both talking to them for like 5 mins, and then (I expected R to just hover around his friends for the rest of skating but he surprised me) R just goes back to skating with me, alone. Skip forward. Skating is done, and we’re taking off our skates, and one of the girls (his friend) invites us to Starbucks (which is the exact place that I had gone out with him and them like two weeks before.) R says we’ll think about it, and she walks away. Then I tell him that I’ll do whatever, and he was being really sweet and was like, “No, what do you want to do?” So then he remembers that I wanted to skate outside, so he says, “How about we go skating and then we’ll meet them later?” And I obviously think this is a great idea. Fast forward. We’re outside and he’s looking at the rink and I just get this HUGE vibe that he doesn’t want to go skating anymore…I mean I know he’s tired and he was yawning so much before, so I ask him if he still wants to go and he says, not really.. so I tell him that we should just go to Starbucks. Fast forward. He’s driving me home (really fast, I might add), he paid for my hot chocolate during the “date/with friends” and he’s acting all weird in the car…we’re not talking as much as usual etc. And I just feel like crying. Anyway, he drops me off and there was a five second “what should we ‘do’ to say goodbye” awkward silence, and I tell him thanks for driving me home. I get out of the car, and get a wave. And he waits for me to get in the house….and the second I do, I collapse on my stairs in tears. Fast forward. It’s sunday, and for the past two days after the “date” I hadn’t received ONE text from him and I was going literally insane…cried the entire weekend and couldn’t sleep. So I’m skating at the outdoor rink with my friends C, and she had no idea of me and R, so she asks what’s wrong and I just pour my heart out to her. She then makes me text him Hi :)….and an hour later he texts Hey 🙂 (then I just wanted to play it cool, because I was so worried that he was mad at me… for reasons that I didn’t even understand. Then I play it cool and don’t text him back–then I get a text from him saying “Hey 🙂 you texted me “Hi” and I responded but I have phone problems and am not sure if you got my text or I got your response :P” Fast forward. I apologize and tell him my friends had picked me up from work (and don’t really tell him why I didn’t answer back) but then I asked if everything was ok, and that he looked upset friday and he says that he is and asks why I would think that and then says thanks for caring so much, to which I reply, “Anytime!” (Rather coldly, I might add). Fast forward and it’s New years. I decide not to text him, and that if he texts me on new years, then he’s obviously thinking about me….well, he ends up texting me at 12:30 and wishes me a happy new year and I replied back, Happy new year to you too! (He seemed very excited in his text…and I still feel bad about this, because I don’t think my message to him was very energetic…but then again, I was still a little upset about how the date turned out, and the fact that he didn’t ask if I was alright…) So, this is where the trouble starts. This has been the last time that he has texted me, January 1st! And two weeks ago (friday the 4th) he offered me a ride home once again…which confused the HELL out of me, since he didn’t bother texting me about the date…then friday the 11th rolls around and we had a meeting before work…so my friend drives me and we’re like 3 mins late, and I see R in the room, and he’s looking at me, and it’s weird cuz I can just feel this wall of nerves building between us. Fast forward. After the meeting, all the skate patrols are talking together and we both seem to not be “just” talking to each other, then he makes a joke and looks at me and I smile and laugh…then a lot of people leave, and my boss wants to speak to him (nothing bad) and so he’s waiting in the hallway, watching me and my two friends speak, and then he comes over and stands beside me and starts talking to us…and I can totally tell (whenever he was talking he just stares at me, and directs EVERYTHING he’s saying at me…I don’t know.) So when I see him at work later, I don’t know what switched in him, but he’s suddenly all fun and flirty again..and we’re running around the building in our socks and just wasting time until we have to get on the ice, and once we do he’s STILL super flirty..I mean, there were no pokes in the belly, but he always seems like a tame kitten when talking to me, and we always laugh so much together…and to end this century long post I only have this one last occurrence to tell you of. So during the week, (before this friday happened everyone was telling me to ask him out, and just to find out once and for all if he still likes me), and I was way too chicken, so I walk outside to the outdoor skating rink with him and he get’s on his gear for work and so I start skating a little later (like he’s skating with his buddy L, who was the one that actually thought that we were cute together) and they don’t see me come on the ice, so I’m talking on the phone with my mom, waiting for her to come pick me up, but also trying to look really nonchalant (and I think I pulled it off..and then I hear there voices behind me, and R swerves around me and gives me a silly face and I hang up with my mom and R tells me that he thought I left. Anyway, even L get’s the hint and skates away, and then R just starts texting his buddy, and I’m just like thinking….WTF. So then L comes back and we all start talking about Siri (like on iphones) so R starts asking my iphone silly questions and then my mom and her bf pull up, so then I take back my phone and say goodbye, and R says “toodles.” And that’s that….and there has been no texting between us and now it’s sunday again, and I’m very upset, and I would like to know what happened,why he stopped texting me (and the thing is,I haven’t texted him since new years, but up until then he’s ALWAYS answered my texts, and never leaves me hanging…the problem now is that he has stopped ‘initiating’ the texting. So I want to know whether or not there’s still a chance, because I like him SO much…and I’m so mad at myself for having no backbone. Please, I’m in serious need of advice.
    P.S. I know I said that this wouldn’t be long…but since you’ve already seen my writing style, let’s just say “long story short equals an even longer and more detailed story.” 🙂

  40. @Tara……Well, that was quite a story! So here’s the deal. Your guy is conflicted about you. Part of him is interested and another part isn’t. And he’s having an internal battle. The doubt side is winning. Honestly Tara, we know you like him but we don’t see this going anywhere. He’s had every opportunity to take this to the next level and he hasn’t. He knows how you feel and he just isn’t stepping up to the plate. We think it’s time to move on. This isn’t good for your emotional well-being. Sorry.

  41. Some male insight would be appreciated. Have a major attraction to a guy at my gym and have had for some time. It’s really unlike me to be this hung up on essentially a stranger and I feel a huge pull to him. He finally said good morning to me as we were in the entrance (yes I know it’s just good morning) at the same time but until then it was just a lot of eye contact. More so than I experience with all the other male members, sometimes if I’m looking away I can see he’ll look at me until I look. It’s the extended eye contact and just the length and way he looks that is not the ‘usual glance’ and makes me think he’s interested. I am usually pretty good at reading body language and don’t assume every guy is staring at me but in this case feel like I am totally misreading the signs because he’s still not approached me. Anyway, I am usually coming or going with my daughter and although I understand he may not be interested in dating a single mom, if he didn’t mind a woman with a child and was truly interested enough/unattached would he find a way to determine if I was single or not? I don’t know how to get that information across (don’t wear rings) without obviously coming on to him. Should I just assume if he’s not approaching he’s not interested enough/attached or doesn’t want a lady with kids? I think I smile and make eye contact enough that he should have picked up that I’m interested…thoughts? Thanks in advance!

  42. @Sarah….From what you’re saying he’s likely attracted to you, but that doesn’t mean he’s interested in pursuing you. It could be that you’re a single mom, but that would just be us guessing. It could be a lot of things. Could you leave your daughter with a babysitter and see what happens then? The other approach is to approach him. But we’d wait on that. It’s still too soon, and we always say it’s best to let the guy initiate. Keep us posted.

  43. hey guys!! I’m gonna rewind: I met this guy at a work convention out of town who is a nephew of one of my mentors in business. It was Jan. 2012 everyone was having drinks and a good time. We ended up salsa dancing and having a blast. Things started getting blurry the later the night went on. Split ways after having fun and all I remembered was that it was the most fun I’d ever had hanging with a guy. I JUST went to cali for a work convention last weekend. I was at the club where the party was at and i noticed a guy about 7 ft in font of me just looking at me i looked and turned away about 2x then the group of girls i was with left and went walking around before leaving. I remember thinking i know him from somewhere. Then as i was leaving he was walking towards me. He stopped smiled and pointed at me since he snagged the corner of my eye while walking out and i looked back 3 times with a big smile so he would know i finally remembered where I knew him from. This sounds dumb lol but Its like we had a moment. every since then i can’t stop thinking about him which is weird. He is now liking a lot of my facebook status’. He is 22 I am 25. He hasn’t been in a relation ship since 2010 per facebook haha. I have been single for 1 1/2 years. He is mature for his age and we both inspire others to be their best self. I like the fact that we are in the same business for the long haul. I want to meet someone in my business because we will have goals that are alike. I know i will just have to see how it goes we have conventions every 3 months. sometimes closer together. Its probably the hopeless romantic in me but my gut instinct is that this could be a good thing and progress. Just running into him in california, he has motivated me to better myself with certain goals i have. Am I overthinking or did it mean anything to him running into me and us realizing how we knew each other in that moment?

  44. OH & I added him on Facebook in December when he hit a leadership position in our company. We are apart of the same team. Even when I added him on FB i still couldn’t remember where I seen him before. Then when i ran into him at Cali it all came together 🙂

  45. @Shelly……Have you had any contact besides Facebook? It seems the next logical step would be to talk on the phone. What do you think? As per your question. It’s way too soon to know, but we’d recommend stepping up the communication. Or having him do that. It’s best if he initiates that way you’ll be able to gauge his intentions better.

  46. ok i stepped out of my box. I’ve always waited for guys to approach me and it apparently hasn’t worked for me so I sent him a quick facebook message saying, ” So, it was fancy running into you in Cali at the club. Drunken night of salsa dancing came to mind. I have to say I like your style ;)” he finally wrote back 2 days later, “Allison, you do know that drunken night of salsa was a pretty good time huh? And yes, Cali was alright..a little skeptical of flying so it was definitely an emotional roller coaster, maybe next time we could plan on getting tickets together so you can keep me company?” how should i respond since i obviously don’t know when i’m flying out for our convention in march. what do you think, interested? how should i respond?

  47. ok i stepped out of my box. I’ve always waited for guys to approach me and it apparently hasn’t worked for me so I sent him a quick facebook message saying, ” So, it was fancy running into you in Cali at the club. Drunken night of salsa dancing came to mind. I have to say I like your style ;)” he finally wrote back 2 days later, “Allison, you do know that drunken night of salsa was a pretty good time huh? And yes, Cali was alright..a little skeptical of flying so it was definitely an emotional roller coaster, maybe next time we could plan on getting tickets together so you can keep me company?” how should i respond since i obviously don’t know when i’m flying out for our convention in march. what do you think, interested? how should i respond?

  48. @Shelly…….He’s interested, but we’re not certain how much. Respond with something casual. “Sounds good” or something like that. But the ball is in his court as far as arranging anything.

  49. I have been going to the same gym for over 3 years. I noticed for a long time there was this guy who always appeared when i was working out and came to work out near me, we never talked and i never even gave him any eye contact am too shy.
    I dropped my membership for a few months and one day at the grocery store a man opened the door and told me he had seen me at the gym…it was the same guy who had been working out next to me, i was so surprised he remembered me from the gym. i told him i don’t go anymore and after i was dne shopping he was behind me and told me to take care.
    Afew months later I went back to the gym and I would see him but I was too shy to talk to him. One day he worked out next to me and we had a nice conversation he told me about himself and asked about me. at the end of the workout he told me it was nice talking to me and the next few times he saw me we said hi when he was far from me in the gym. he never asked for my number or anything but he told me he was a cop.
    It has now been over 5 weeks and i have not seen this guy and am confused if it is me he is avoiding? or what? I like him

  50. @Liz……Why would he be avoiding you? There’s nothing to avoid. All that’s happened is the two of you have chatted. You’re just going to have to wait and see how this plays out. Stop fretting over it.

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