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Older vs Younger

Dear Guys,
I'm a shy, 35 year old woman. I'm not much into the dating scene. Partly because I'm busy, working two jobs just to pay the rent.

But I do have two men who are very interested in me and I've been dating both of them when I have time. Since I'm religious, I'm not having physical relations with either of them. Both men have expressed interest in taking the relationship to the next level. I'm not sure what to do. One is considerably older than me, and other is a little bit younger than me.

I do like both of them, but not sure how to proceed. I'm just not sure. What do you guys think?

Tiffany
(No address given)

(Edit: We forgot to include the ages of the guys. Partly due to the fact that "Tiffany" (Not her real name) wanted everything paraphrased. The older guy is 53 and the younger is 30. We apologize. See our comment below.


Hi Tiffany,

Thanks for writing. We think the best way to answer your question is to just state some pros and cons for each type of guy. Older vs Younger. That might help you gain a little more clarity or insight about each. However, in the end you're going to have to make the decision based on your gut feeling. And your heart of course!

And partly because we have NO idea what you should do!! We don't have enough information!

But we'll break it down for you anyway. Remember, these are just generalizations. You still know best. And we think, you probably already know the answer, but you want permission to move forward. And of course we give you that permission for what it's worth! 🙂

So here we go!

Older Guy

Pros:
1. He's much more likely to be financially stable. Meaning, he might have a good job. He might own a house or have some sort of property. And he's likely to have socked away some money. Unless of course he's divorced with kids. Then he's broker than broke.

2. He's understanding. Your older guy's been through a lot. Or at least he has a lot of experience. He's probably dated his fair share of ladies and he's hopefully learned a lot about relationships in the process. Or he's just a weirdo or a psycho and you don't know it….yet.

3. He'll likely worship you. Why? Because he'll feel incredibly lucky to have snagged someone 18 years younger than him. The rest of his wrinkled buds will constantly make remarks to this effect, so he will do everything he can to make you happy.

4. He might be more interesting. Living for 53 years on the planet, a person must pick up a few things along the way. If not, we feel bad for your future offspring.

Cons:
1. He's old! By the time you're 45, he'll be 63. And so on. He'll look more like a grandfather than a dad if you plan on having kids.

2. It's possible he won't take you seriously. He'll think he's smarter than you or more experienced than you.

3. Do you really want to be number 47 on his personal list of women he's "been" with?

4. He's marrying you because you're 18 years younger than him.

5. Did we say he's old?

Younger Guy

Pros:
1. He'll have a lot of energy. We hope this enthusiasm will transfer to some of the more important aspects of your relationship. Like the bedroom. He'll have to do something to make up for his lack of experience.

2. He'll worship you. Why? You're the experienced and hot older women that every guy fantasizes about.

3. You will experience many of the big events in life for the first time, together. Getting married…..having kids…….buying a house……stress!

Cons:
1. He's young. A guy doesn't really mature until his early 30's. Hopefully this guy is ahead of the curve.

2. He's broke. He might have a good job, but he's still paying off his student loans and his car loans.
And if you want to keep up with the Jones's…..or even the Smiths….. let's hope he's not an artist or a musician!

3. He's inexperienced. Guys might brag to their buddies about how good they are with the ladies, but deep down they all fear they're not good enough. At 30 he's still not sure where he stands.

4. Did we say he's young? He may not really have figured out what he wants to do with his life. Hopefully he doesn't figure it out in five years and realize he wants to become an explorer and travel the world by himself!

We hope this helps!

THE GUYS

15 Comments on Older vs Younger

  1. I agree with the guys. I have dated slightly older and slightly younger – never vearing to far in either direction. My experiences have been backward to the norm the younger guy has his act together (good job, own home, ect) where the older guy seemed like he would never grow up. In the end though age is really just a number, everyone is different. Go with you gut and the one that makes you smile 🙂

  2. Definitely her choice at the end of the day. Nothing is more confusing than having to choose in any situation. Either way when she commits she best tell herself that for better or worse…this is her decision and also commit to not comparing down the road with all the.. ‘what if’s’.
    I am curious where The Guys came up with the men in question’s ages or did you read something I missed.
    ~D~

  3. Oops…..
    We forgot to include the ages of the older and younger guy.
    53 for the older guy and 30 for the younger. Sorry about that.
    We had to paraphrase the question and we somehow left out that info…..Also changed her name because she didn’t want anyone to know….
    THE GUYS

  4. I’ve dated a guy that was 10 years older than me, and I can tell you first hand he did act like he was smarter than me, and it drove me crazy.
    I agree with The Guys though, it really does depend on these two different guys. Age aside, they could have very different personalities. It all boils down to which one can you see yourself with long term?

  5. ooooooooo,,, that’s hot.
    looks like the do or don’t sugardaddy convo. you are good for engaging anyone on that issue.

  6. That was a good and funny reading.

  7. In the paraphrased question, there is no mention of marriage as “the next level”. Is exclusivity what these men want? Is this what Tiffany wants? If that is what she wants right now, a steady, then yes, a choice is necessary. But maybe it is not the time for her, since she is trying so hard to stay afloat?

  8. Ahhhhh….now it makes a little more sense…I will let that one slide 🙂
    It can go either way with a younger guy or an older guy.
    Yes the older guy gets older faster but so does the older woman age faster than the younger guy.
    I personally have been in both situations and it really boiled down to how compatible we were on personal space, issues and morals.
    Sometime when we are not sure…that in itself is an answer. As Sugar Snow mentioned…it may not be her time even though the guys are hinting at taking things to a next level.

  9. Great post! I definitely prefer older men. In my experience, they’re much more mature and know what they want. :o)

  10. I think the decision should be entirely hers. She should weigh pros and cons and find who is better for her. 🙂

  11. Come on over to my blog! You’ve got yourself a surprise waiting for you there!!!! :)))

  12. Thanks for your great comments. Like most of you said, in the end it’s up to “Tiffany” to figure it out. She may not be ready to make this decision.
    And of course, age doesn’t even have to be a factor if everything else is jiving!

  13. I know from experience I am engaged to a man almost 16 years my senior and dated, in the past of course, older men before him.
    Just because a man is older doesn’t mean that he is financially stable – some are still irresponsible with money, some are devorced and pay alamony and child care expences + are their kids planing to go to University?
    They are more experience – which is usually a good thing.
    They know and are more comfortable with themselves – most of the time.
    Usually way more caring.
    They are definatly more sexy, receading hair lines, grey/silver hair, wrinkles – this is making my…

  14. Age is not always an indication of maturity. I once dated a guy who was 13 years older than me. He adored me and I adored him but he was not willing to make any commitments that would get in a way of his mother’s plans. Mommy comes first is his motto, and although he didn’t verbally say this, his action spoke louder than words. He was a mommy’s boy, simple as. Then I dated a much younger guy who was mature beyond his years and I tell you what…he was no fun! He took himself too seriously for his own good.

  15. Age is not Maturity. Took me years to realise that my much older boyfriend was becoming meaner because I was growing up and he wanted a little girl not a woman. As soon as I started reaching his academic level he got insulting. Couldn’t cope . I would counsel any young women not to date more than 5 years ahead. Lot of man babies hanging round 17 year olds 🙁
    Ps don’t let religion stop you from finding out if you’re sexually compatible before a big public commitment. It’s hard to get out of. Seen a lot of unhappy Christians fall into that one .
    Good luck

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