I'm a shy, 35 year old woman. I'm not much into the dating scene. Partly because I'm busy, working two jobs just to pay the rent.
But I do have two men who are very interested in me and I've been dating both of them when I have time. Since I'm religious, I'm not having physical relations with either of them. Both men have expressed interest in taking the relationship to the next level. I'm not sure what to do. One is considerably older than me, and other is a little bit younger than me.
I do like both of them, but not sure how to proceed. I'm just not sure. What do you guys think?
(No address given)
(Edit: We forgot to include the ages of the guys. Partly due to the fact that "Tiffany" (Not her real name) wanted everything paraphrased. The older guy is 53 and the younger is 30. We apologize. See our comment below.
Thanks for writing. We think the best way to answer your question is to just state some pros and cons for each type of guy. Older vs Younger. That might help you gain a little more clarity or insight about each. However, in the end you're going to have to make the decision based on your gut feeling. And your heart of course!
And partly because we have NO idea what you should do!! We don't have enough information!
But we'll break it down for you anyway. Remember, these are just generalizations. You still know best. And we think, you probably already know the answer, but you want permission to move forward. And of course we give you that permission for what it's worth! 🙂
So here we go!
1. He's much more likely to be financially stable. Meaning, he might have a good job. He might own a house or have some sort of property. And he's likely to have socked away some money. Unless of course he's divorced with kids. Then he's broker than broke.
2. He's understanding. Your older guy's been through a lot. Or at least he has a lot of experience. He's probably dated his fair share of ladies and he's hopefully learned a lot about relationships in the process. Or he's just a weirdo or a psycho and you don't know it….yet.
3. He'll likely worship you. Why? Because he'll feel incredibly lucky to have snagged someone 18 years younger than him. The rest of his wrinkled buds will constantly make remarks to this effect, so he will do everything he can to make you happy.
4. He might be more interesting. Living for 53 years on the planet, a person must pick up a few things along the way. If not, we feel bad for your future offspring.
1. He's old! By the time you're 45, he'll be 63. And so on. He'll look more like a grandfather than a dad if you plan on having kids.
2. It's possible he won't take you seriously. He'll think he's smarter than you or more experienced than you.
3. Do you really want to be number 47 on his personal list of women he's "been" with?
4. He's marrying you because you're 18 years younger than him.
5. Did we say he's old?
1. He'll have a lot of energy. We hope this enthusiasm will transfer to some of the more important aspects of your relationship. Like the bedroom. He'll have to do something to make up for his lack of experience.
2. He'll worship you. Why? You're the experienced and hot older women that every guy fantasizes about.
3. You will experience many of the big events in life for the first time, together. Getting married…..having kids…….buying a house……stress!
1. He's young. A guy doesn't really mature until his early 30's. Hopefully this guy is ahead of the curve.
2. He's broke. He might have a good job, but he's still paying off his student loans and his car loans.
And if you want to keep up with the Jones's…..or even the Smiths….. let's hope he's not an artist or a musician!
3. He's inexperienced. Guys might brag to their buddies about how good they are with the ladies, but deep down they all fear they're not good enough. At 30 he's still not sure where he stands.
4. Did we say he's young? He may not really have figured out what he wants to do with his life. Hopefully he doesn't figure it out in five years and realize he wants to become an explorer and travel the world by himself!
We hope this helps!