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Rebound Relationships

Dear Guys,

When people rush into rebound relationships for a few months and have been intimate with someone else, what do you think the chances are of trying to repair the original relationship, knowing the person you loved was with someone else?

I had this happen to me and he is now contacting me again.  I wonder why he didn’t try to work on the relationship before getting involved with someone else.  I don’t want to be used or hurt again.  Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

Tina

Dear Tina,

Thanks for writing us.

Any relationship can be broken or repaired. It all depends on the people involved and how committed or not committed they are.

The real question is whether or not you want to try and repair it, and whether or not you can handle the emotional roller coaster that may ensue.

We don’t know the details of why you broke up in the first place, and then why he started dating this other person, and then why they broke up, and now why he’s asking to get back together with you. Is he  someone who can’t be alone? Or did he truly make a mistake and now wants to make it all right?

Either way, it sounds like you’re already struggling with it. Do you really want to go through it all again? That’s what you have to ask yourself. Don’t get back with him again just because you’re feeling lonely. Breakups are very hard, but they usually happen for a good reason, and after time things start to look up. You sound like you’re still in the healing phase which makes you vulnerable, and susceptible to his advances.

If you really want to give it a second try we suggest you wait for a bit and get to know him again. Be friends for a while and see if he’s really serious about you, or if he’s just lonely and looking for sex.

And if this seems too hard it might be because it is. He may not be the right guy for you, so move on, heal, and keep an open mind. Someone else will come your way.

Good luck and keep us posted. Feel free to ask any follow up questions.

THE GUYS

ps. We also answer relationship questions on our podcast. Check it out here, or subscribe on itunes and/or Zune. Leave us a five star rating on itunes or Zune and be in the running for a piece of merchandise.

5 Comments on Rebound Relationships

  1. I think she should be open to listening what he has to say.

  2. If you really care for this person and think he’s sincere, it is probably worth another try.

  3. It cant hurt to listen to what he has to say. However, make sure you find out what his true motives are and keep yourself protected.

  4. Hear the guy out first, but don’t be to hasty. Remember your feelings come first.

  5. The Guys are right – the first question is whether or not you want to give the relationship another shot. If so, definitely be wary and try to determine what his motives are before going any further. Watch his actions and give more weight to what he does compared to what he says.

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