Relationship Advice: Committed or uncommitted?

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Dear Guys,

I don’t understand why guys who are in a committed relationship say to uncommitted females “if I wasn’t taken, I would be interested in pursuing you.” there is no guarantee of that ever coming to pass at any point in time.


Dear Tammy,

Thanks for your question. This is probably something that would interest a lot of women.

First of all, by speaking with you in this way, he’s being disrespectful to the woman he’s currently seeing. Can you imagine your boyfriend going around telling the girls he’s attracted to, “If I wasn’t in a relationship, I would be pursuing you.” This is a red flag, and probably someone to stay away from. He’s likely a player, or sometimes called a Playa. If he’s saying this to you, he’s saying it to many women, and things wouldn’t be any different if you were actually his girlfriend.

Now for a softer evaluation. A guy might be in a rocky relationship, or one that he doesn’t feel too secure about, and this might be a reason he says this to another woman. He wants to keep his options open so he doesn’t miss out on any great opportunities as his other relationship falls apart. However, once again, we prefer guys to man up and end one relationship before they start the next. However, we do understand that life is messy, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out that way.

Our take: proceed with major caution on this one.

Good luck,


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1 Comment on Relationship Advice: Committed or uncommitted?

  1. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for a short time, 2 months, but we are exclusive. He has a holiday booked which was booked a year a ago. Its a group trip but at the end he is continuing travelling with a friend he met on last years trip. He says they are just friends which I accept but today he tells me that at the end of the trip they are travelling together and sharing a hotel room. I have no reason not to trust him and I do, but I actually find this behaviour really disrespectful and inappropriate. He doesn’t seem to think so… Am I overreacting? Thanks for your help

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