Should I break up with my video game playing boyfriend?

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Four years of confusion

Dear Guys,

I feel that I am losing feelings for my current boyfriend. There are a couple of issues with our relationship that I have brought up over the past eight months that we do nothing but fight over and get nowhere in the process.

So here is the issue: My boyfriend started playing World of Warcraft eight months ago which took up a lot of his time. I didn’t mind until it started affecting our activity level. He never wants to do anything besides play this game, eat, and watch TV. Of course, I fell into that with him—well, not the video game part. Eventually I wanted to break out of this. I would have to beg, plead and pout to get him to do anything else. Of course it left me feeling completely unsatisfied because he was not happy being out of the house.

I started doing things without him, but I wanted my boyfriend back! He wanted to move across the country, and I decided to move with him even though I felt extremely reluctant and hesitant about making such a big move when I was already not 100% sure about us. He eventually convinced me by saying things would be so different. They were different for the first two weeks, but two months later I am exploring the new area by myself because he is back to his video games. I don’t know anyone in the area, and after several applications for employment, I still haven’t been able to get a job. (Still trying daily though!)

We are also living with one of his buds and they play video games together in separate rooms, and go fishing, and do boy stuff, which is all fine with me, except I’m left by myself. I am trying to rationalize breaking up with him and moving back. I am depressed and unhappy. I wake up miserable every day and not even a shell of the person I used to be a year ago. He keeps telling me I’m going to regret breaking up with him. He says that I should not have any problem with him because he doesn’t go out drinking all the time, doesn’t cheat on me (but he has on all of his past relationships…besides our first month together I’m the first girl he hasn’t cheated on by this point in a relationship), he doesn’t beat me, and he tells me I’m pretty all the time. I congratulate him on being a good person, but surely he is not that naive.

Basically, from a guy’s perspective, is these good reasons for breaking up? Or am I being a tool?


Dear Leslie,

Thanks for your question.

So our question to you is: What are you getting out of this relationship?

What strikes us the most are his priorities and where you fall in the mix. Here’s how we see it in descending order.

1. World of War Craft

2. His buddies

3. Other activities and outings.

4. You

In addition, does he really think he should be complimented for not cheating on you, or not beating you? If he thinks those are qualities that make him an attractive boyfriend he’s missing the point. Those are givens and should be assumed with any relationship you are part of. And we’ll be honest, a bunch of us laughed out loud at the absurdity of the statement.

You need to take a hard look at your situation. Don’t sell yourself short and settle for a relationship that doesn’t make you happy. If you are able to get him more invested in your relationship there might be hope, but it may just be the two of you want different things out of life.

Good luck,


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2 Comments on Should I break up with my video game playing boyfriend?

  1. Leslie,

    I google’d “Should I break up with my boyfriend for playing too much video games?” and came across this which was pretty helpful in the sense that it made the gaming boyfriends’ priorities more clear.

    I am in the same boat where my fiance goes to work, comes home and plays a lot of video games. I don’t know what is worse, being addicted to one video game like WOW or having 100s of games at one’s disposal. While my fiance treats me fine, he lacks motivation to do anything else. I’ll propose/force him to go outside and he will but once he’s home – video game time which irritates the shi*t out of me because I’m always making moves. I go on a lot of trips, get-togethers, plans etc. with my friends and family. In addition, I’m applying for law school and just striving for more in life and constantly planning/thinking about the future.

    Meanwhile, my fiance, is stuck in this weird gaming bubble and doesn’t think or do any of the things I do mentioned above.

    THE GUYS, thanks. It seems his and my order of priorities are totally not in sync and listing it makes it more clear. Though, is that enough to break up? I’ve told him my concerns before but I don’t see change and I simply don’t know what to do because I love him but this has been a reoccurring issue since we’ve been together.


  2. @Vicki……Sounds like a bummer. So how old are you and your boyfriend? Did you meet in college/high school? Is he happy with his work? What else does he do with his free time besides video games? (Does he see friends? Play recreational sports? Hobbies? Other interests?) Is there some sort of endgame with video games for him? Meaning, does he have a goal, like to be a pro or something? Or is he just addicted?) Does he choose video games over you and going out with you?

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