I was on an on-line dating website and this man sent me a message asking if I was interested in meeting him. I responded to him two days later and he said sorry but he was going off the site because he met someone else and was going to ask her to be exclusive. I wished him well.
Three weeks later he contacted me again asking if I was still interested in meeting. I asked what happened and he just blew it off saying things happen and it was no big deal. So we met and began a relationship rather quickly seeing each other almost everyday. Then without any warning he sent me an email at work saying he was going back to his longtime girlfriend whom he never mentioned. He seemed really into me and I was shocked that he would be so cold as to end things by an email to my work.
It was only several weeks that we dated, but I’m feeling rejected and confused by his behavior. I’d appreciate any advice or opinion on this situation.
Thanks for writing. We’re sorry about your situation. This guy’s erratic behavior is a sure sign that he’s not who he says he is.
In the excitement of meeting someone who’s charming, good looking, interesting, or whatever, you ignored some not-so-positive signs that told you a different story. The fact that he said he was going to be exclusive with someone else not more than two weeks prior, should have told you something wasn’t right. And the fact that his explanation to you was less than satisfactory was also a red flag. These together tell us that he’s either very confused, or he’s a player, and we’re going with the latter.
Don’t beat yourself up over this, but just be aware for the future. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment if there’s chemistry. But next time, think yellow light, and proceed with caution, especially with online dating. It might be a good idea to first get to know someone face-to-face before you jump in too deep.
We know this situation is sad, confusing, and frustrating for you, but truly this guy is not worth it. He’s got his agenda, and it’s all about him. He’s not the type of guy you’d want to have a long term relationship with anyway.
So chalk it up to experience and move on. Next time keep your eyes open a tad more. We’re not saying be suspicious of everyone, just don’t go so fast until you really know whom you’re dealing with.
Good luck, and write us anytime.
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