Younger woman, older man, FWB?

We’re looking for women writers. Visit our Women Speak page for more information. 

Read more Relationship Advice and Dating Advice about dating older guys.

Hi Guys,

So, I’m 20 and I work with a guy who’s 35, who has an ex partner and three kids.
I started thinking about him more than I should, and long story short, he knows how I feel and wants to hook up as well. I told him (and myself) that it was just hooking up and nothing serious would come of it because of the age gap and the fact that he has three kids. (I don’t wanna intrude on his personal life.) However, I’m starting to develop feelings for him more and more. He said to let whatever happen, happen, but I’m not sure what he means by that. These never end well do they?

We haven’t hooked up yet because we’re to0 far away and I don’t have a car. He’s just not even bothered to come and pick me up. It’s like he wants me to go to him, make him happy, and then leave. Is that a red flag?

Tayla

Hi Tayla,

It sounds as if you just need someone to say to you what you already know. We don’t like to say never, but in general, these types of arrangements don’t end well. Someone, usually the woman, starts to develop feelings. (Most women don’t compartmentalize sex the same way as guys.) When that happens they look for signs that their hook-up is also developing feelings. However, most often, their hook-up is perfectly happy with the present arrangement. In your case, it’s very doubtful that he sees you as anything more than a nice, willing, young women who he’s physically attracted to and wants to have sex with.

Now throw in the fact that you work with the guy AND he’s making no effort and you have a recipe for disaster. Not to mention he’s 15 years older and has three kids. This whole situation is a big red-flag.

We suggest you give this some serious thought before you make the leap into his bed. You might find our e-report on Friends with Benefits helpful. It’s short, but informative.

THE GUYS

ps. Please let your friends know about us. Thanks.

 

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.


*