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Bob the Vegan: Amy and the movies.

Yesterday: Jim and Bob decide to go see a documentary on Hermaphrodites. They set off down the street. And then….. Bob sees Amy, George's wife.

Bob: Holy shit, that's Amy!

Jim: Where? …… Hey, you're right. Isn't George living with you now?

Bob: Yep. And this is going to be awkward.

Amy sees them and waves. They all stop.

Amy: Hey guys. How are you?

She gives Bob a hug. She nods at Jim who she doesn't know that well.

Bob: Sooo….how have you been Amy? George misses you so much.

Amy: Oh come off it Bob. You know George as well as I do. He's probably off with Dan at some strip club or something.

Bob:
Actually, not really. First of all, Dan's completely changed. He's been going to
meetings every week now. And he joined me in becoming a vegan.

Amy: Seriously?

Bob: Seriously.

Amy: And George?

Bob: Well, George has had a little more trouble.

Amy: Figures. I'll tell you, he's walking on thin ice with me.

Bob:(gulps)  But Amy?

Jim is just keeping his mouth shut through this whole exchange.

Amy:
Listen, this isn't the first time stuff like this has happened. A few
months ago he reconnected with some old flame on Facebook. He didn't
realize that we had a few mutual friends, so I found out about it. And then there was online chat room he was visiting. It just goes on and on. The "Chicken Porn" was the last
straw.

Bob: I thought he was Mr. Securi……(Bob stops short, recalling his conversation about security with George)

Amy: What was that?

Bob: Oh nothing….But don't you still love him? And miss him?

Amy: You know what. Not really. I'm actually thinking of leaving him for good.

Bob: NO!!! Don't say that. You don't mean that.

Amy: I'm sorry Bob, I guess I do. It's too bad he's not more like you.

Jim just looks at Bob. The whole scene is uncomfortable.

Amy:(Continues) You know what I especially don't miss?

Bob: I'm afraid to ask.

Amy: The little things.

Bob: Like what?

Amy:
Like the fact that he doesn't clean up after himself in the kitchen.
I'm always putting his dishes in the dishwasher and putting the food
away….or closing the cupboards. It drives me nuts. And then after he
takes a shower, he leaves the soap at the bottom of the tub instead of
in the soap dish. I hate having to try and grab it, squirting around
like a slippery little fish….(she pauses)…. But you know what the
worst is?

Bob: I'm scared to hear.

Amy: His underwear…..Every
week I do the wash, which I don't mind doing. We've kind of divided up
the chores. But every week he has only one pair of dirty underwear in
the hamper.

Bob: Um..should you really be telling me this?

Amy: Well
it's just gross. I always say, "Where's the rest of your underwear for
the week?" And he says, "That's it?" And I say, "ONE PAIR??!" And he
says, "Yep"

Bob: Yikes.

Amy: See!! That is so gross. He thinks it's funny. And then he wants me to….you know…..the whole thing grosses me out…….So no I don't miss that. And I don't really miss him.

Bob: Well, I'm not sure what to say. I guess I'm sorry for you and George.

Jim: Um, sorry to interrupt, but Bob we should go. The movie's going to start soon.

Amy: Oh, what are you guys going to see?

Jim: That documentary on Hermaphrodites. Why? You want to come?

Bob gives Jim a scathing look. Jim ignores him.

Amy: Wow, you guys are brave to go together. Aren't you afraid everyone will think you're gay?

Jim:(says to Bob) See?!!

Bob just shrugs.

Bob: I told you, I don't care either way.

Jim:(To Amy) So what do you say, you wanna come?

Now Jim is even more excited at the prospect of Amy becoming single.

Amy: Sure, I'd love to come. I've got nothing going on.

Bob just looks at Jim. The three of them walk to the movies.

Next week: Find out if Bob tells George. And. Dan's got a new girlfriend


This Thursday: The Guy's Horizon: The Future of Gender


5 Comments on Bob the Vegan: Amy and the movies.

  1. I have to admit I’ve been skipping most of the Bob the Vegan posts and reading the other ones instead. Now that I’ve read this one I guess I’ll need to go back though the others so that I can find out who George is (although he sounds totally gross.)

  2. This series is fun to write. Why? Because we really can get deep into the relationship between men and women using actual dialogue and scenarios. (OK, some are a bit far fetched)But they still allow us to explore what men and women might say to one another.
    So yes, we hope you’ll read some of the previous ones.

  3. I need to catch up on the episodes too. I’ve really enjoyed the ones I have read. They are funny, yet totally relatable. Okay, off to read some more 🙂

  4. LOL @ Amy…I cannot wait to see how this plays out.
    I cannot imagine Bob telling George what Amy disclosed to him and Jim.
    I love dialogue…it seems to draw you into the real meat of the issue…no pun intended.
    I am staying tuned 🙂

  5. Have I mentioned lately that I really like your Bob?
    Can’t wait for the next one!

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