We Define it for You: The Girlfriend

What does this over used term really mean?

It certainly means different things to different people.
So we break it down for you one by one.

Average Joe: Having a girlfriend makes him legitimate. Even if he fights it, he loves being committed and needed. And mothers with small children no longer cross the street when he's coming. But if he's not careful to hide all his collectibles, he'll be back at mom's house before he knows it.

Girls: The term girlfriend is one of affection. Generally. Like, "What's up girlfriend?" Or even more colloquial, "What up girlfriend?" Of course we've also heard it used in a threatening way like, "You better back up, girlfriend!" OK, we have no idea what it means. We're just GUYS!

Gay Guy: We consulted with some of our GUYS from this community. Are you surprised? Yes, this is The Guy's Perspective. We're definitely all inclusive. Anyway, the term girlfriend would be a term used for the GUY who might be the physically less dominant in the relationship. Thus the word girlfriend. Well, that's pretty clear.

Hugh Hefner: Before we begin, we need to say that every GUY on the planet is jealous of this GUY.
Do we agree with all his practices and would we have made the same choices? Maybe, maybe not. But talk about a vision and singular purpose. The GUY started a magazine and an empire so he could have lots of Girlfriends. And he's done it successfully for 60 yrs! The singular girlfriend is a word Mr. Hefner is not familiar with. It would be the plural form, Girlfriends, that he knows so well. His girlfriends consist of two to three "girls" who happen to be many years his junior. These girls usually stick around for a year or so, and then POOF! They're gone. They move on happily, so it seems. And then within days these girls are magically replaced by another set of lovely young ladies. And no one knows what really goes on behind closed doors. So we're left to our own imagination. Yuck!

Bad Boys: Yes, we know you ladies love them. And even some of you GUYS. But they don't even know you exist. They do their own thing, and you're welcome to follow them around. C'mon, enough already!!

Middle Schoolers: When young guys in middle school tell their friends they have a girlfriend it could mean almost anything. Their girlfriend could be someone they smiled at in the hallway going from class to class, or someone they've been texting for a week or so. Nine out of ten times these "Guys" have never actually been out with their "girlfriends" and definitely NOT alone. If you've ever seen the difference between a fourteen year old boy and fourteen year old girl, you know why. These young women just remind these boys of what lies ahead. And for most, sorrow and angst.

Even younger Guys: When an elementary school boy says he has a girlfriend it means he's found someone he can throw rocks at. Or throw anything at. You can see we've come a long way since the caveman, because in essence elementary school boys are just like cavemen. The more they like the girl the harder they throw. Now that's just kind of sick. But it somehow makes sense to us.

And finally, THE GUYS PERSPECTIVE: This is silly. When we say we have a girlfriend, we mean it. 


Ladies, be aware:  If you have to ask yourself whether he's your boyfriend, chances are, he's not.


Gals/ladies/women: Leave your definition of The Boyfriend. We'll be posting our five favorites the week of August 10th.

Other Guys/men: Leave us your definition of The Girlfriend. We'll be posting our five favorites the week of August 10th. 

Stick to the theme. And NO PROFANITY PLEASE!!!

Enjoy Your Weekend!

"The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a Vegan Now" will be back the week of August 10th.

And next Week for the first time ever!

THE SEWING CIRCLE: Bill, Joe and Aubrey (and maybe Scott) hang, and talk about their feelings.

13 Comments on We Define it for You: The Girlfriend

  1. Wow, it is so interesting to read a guy-blog! It’s better for women than reading Cosmo. With you we get the real deal.
    Almost every gal takes a chance with a bad guy until we realize they really are BAD, as in not good for us, as in yes they will hurt your soul and break your heart. But then, don’t many guys like those trashy girls and then get surprised when they cheat?

  2. You are RIGHT ON! OUCH, we didn’t see that coming!
    Thanks for your insightful comment.

  3. A girlfriend is a woman you are dating exlusively. P.S.I have a secret thing for Dr. Who and Godzilla action figures and collectables, so don’t hide them.

  4. We agree with you Elissa!
    And your action figure fetish makes us weak at the knees….

  5. The Boyfriend
    From this woman’s perspective, The Boyfriend is, quite simply, the husband in training. Having The Boyfriend allows The Girlfriend to show the world that she is desirable as future wife material. Dates are merely the testing and training grounds for eventual marriage. One date only with a Boy means that he has none of the qualities one desires in a husband. Two to four dates means that he has potential, but apparently can not, or will not be taught, and, regrettably must be dumped. More than four dates strikes gold. The Boyfriend must be strong, must love children and animals, be willing to sit through chick flicks, and be supportive, but never clingy. He should dress well, but never, ever outshine The Girlfriend. He must have a good sense of humor, but refrain from lewd comments and off-color jokes. He is someone The Girlfriend is proud to introduce to her friends and must never, never, NEVER embarrass her in their presence. He needn’t be the most handsome guy on the planet, nor the best built, but he should present himself in his best possible light. Every once in a great while, he may look a slob, but this is only so that The Girlfriend may scold him, wherein he must be properly apologetic and allow her to “fix him up.”
    The Boyfriend should have a good job, or at least, the potential for a good job, and ambition is a definite plus. If that ambition involves guitars and strobe lights and fog machines on a stage, The Girlfriend should realize that The Boyfriend may never grow up, and The Relationship must be properly scrutinized. If he has met every other criteria, he may still be acceptable, but The Girlfriend will find ways to push him into a more lucrative ambition.
    The Boyfriend is a credit to The Girlfriend and will be properly rewarded when she sees fit. And the rewards will be great, and well worth the time and effort The Boyfriend puts into their relationship.

  6. Great blog. There’s some pretty funny stuff here.
    You forgot the married guy’s definition of “girlfriend” … maybe another post?

  7. Didn’t want to touch that one! 🙂

  8. Wow, how did you know about our courtship?
    Funny! Thanks.
    Be on the lookout the week of August 10th.

  9. boyfriend – someone i’m testing driving, but haven’t decided if i want to put a down payment on for purchase.

  10. Girlfriend: I think she is hot, she is obviosuly in to me, and I am comfortable bringing her around other people – as in my friends or at another bar where hot single women are getting drunk.
    PS – love the blog.

  11. The term boyfriend can have many different meanings – the common denominator involves dating a male who you are romantically involved with to varying degrees. Sometimes the accent may be on the word ‘boy’ -as in the fact that he’s not mature enough to consider for anything more serious than fun dating. In other cases the relationship may be monogamous and a step towards a different role (fiance, life partner, husband. etc). Some people have lived with a guy for 25 years, have children with them, share property ownership – and still refer to them as their ‘boyfriend’.

  12. OK…so Ive had the “boyfriend” many times in my life. First was the one that chased me around the playground trying to pull my bra strap…next was the one who fumbled like a sweating dork to try and undo my bra strap…next generation “boyfriend” was the guy who called me every night so we could talk about nothing for 3 hours. But atlast is my present day defanition…the man who chases me instead of him,who doesnt try to use me for what he shouldnt,and who actually finds my quarkiness enticing….

  13. If you can find those last three qualities, we think you might have found a keeper. Good luck!!
    And love your comments!

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