We've been called everything in the book. And some of the worst have been the many comparisons to animals. "You Dog!" "You're a Pig!" "Move it, you Slug!" "You Shitbag" (OK, we just put that one in there.)

But instead of getting offended we decided to embrace these foul mouthed descriptions and write our own reasons why we are like animals.

Please let us know if you agree or disagree.

What animal would you compare your man to? Or if you're a guy, who would you compare your buddy to?

No need to pull punches. We just want to know where we stand.

Dog: We're loyal. And yes, we do like to sniff and occasional backside. Can you blame us?

Cheetah: We're fast. That's cool!. Although, some would say that's nothing to be proud of.
Ouch that hurts!!

Rat: Yes, we're kind of dirty. But we're smart too. We want you to believe we're dirtier than we are. That way you leave our stuff alone!

Wolf: We hunt in packs.

Chicken: We hunt in packs. It's safer.

Kitty Cat: We're not like them in any way, shape or form. In fact we don't like them in any way, shape or form.

We can see far ahead, but we sometimes stumble over what's right in front of us.

Goat: Sometimes we smell like one. What, that extra splash of cologne isn't working??

Gorilla: We like to beat our chest in a self-congratulatory manner.

Hyena: Even when we're laughing with you, we want to eat you!

So there you have it. We're sure you can come up with many more. Let's have it. We're ready!!


21 Comments on GUYS are ANIMALS!

  1. LOL
    Very well analyzed. No self justification in your family 😛
    I would have to say that if my name calling or label of a man was coming from a let’s say more insecure side of my emotional brain…
    …I would use the terms …Hounddog..creep… jerk last but not least …tool.
    Now to expand on my positive and secure side of my mind, the labels would be such as…
    ..trustworthy..genuine..sweet.. understanding,not necessarily in that order :p
    On a closing note…women also are described in nice and not so nice terms !
    We will leave that or another show… as they say:)

  2. Hmmmm…well my husband I would call a teddy bear, but that’s not a real animal is it? Men in general….well I’ve come across a lot of pigs and dogs, but I guess there are some women out there that could be described similar also.
    This post is hilarious!!! LOVE it!

  3. My Fiance compares himself to a Burro, partly because he is over-worked.
    I am a bunny rabbit, cute and cuddly. Not after Playboy bunnies, they give us good cute bunnies a bad name.
    Tch tch tch =:)

  4. Well, you know how I compared my Golden Retriever to men in a recent post, and since my husband is loyal and handsome I’d have to specify Golden Retriever.
    We have two dogs and our little mix breed is loud, always looking for food and never wants to go to bed, which I guess means that my sons have the personality of our little dog.
    I love the similarity between wolves and chickens, very funny.

  5. This is really good. I particularly liked the Hyena one!!

  6. Looks like I’m a giraffe. I’m ok with it, but it does make me wish I was a taller person.

  7. What a great spin on something that’s usually so negative!
    And keeping with the tradition of your September 3, 2009 entry, you could say that being called a “pig” isn’t such a bad thing, because they’re pink! 🙂

  8. I am a dog and a rat hehehe but where is the monkey? a very cunning animal hehehe

  9. Jennifer,
    You ARE a positive person aren’t you!
    Thanks for bringing Pink back into the discussion!

  10. Yes we overlooked the Monkey! Sorry about that. We decided to just include ten.
    Monkey: Because we like to live in trees for a better view.

  11. Hahaha this post is really cool!
    Let’s see. Oh and what about an owl?
    Owl: We need to make ourselves known. Therefore we like to hoot, day or night.
    Yeah I’m not so sharp at the moment with my sentences…it’s kinda late here. Sorry!
    oh a few others!
    Crocodile: Sometimes you don’t even know we’re there. So we can make you fall in love at surprise. (yes I had it mind that a crocodile is always on the lure and before you know it SNAP! you are caught…)
    Eagle: hmm something to do with being proud and territorial and all. This could also go for a lion.
    Spider: Before you know it you are caught in the web of seduction. You like us even if you think you don’t.
    Hmm I think I need to sleep now. Ciao!

  12. You are good even when you’re half asleep!!! We like them all! (Crocodile’s our favorite. Spot on!)
    Sweet Dreams,

  13. Hahaha! Very funny way of looking at it. All I can say as is as long as the guy isnt a wombat (eats roots and leaves) its a good thing. Pigs are meant to be good luck and dogs will always protect you from harm if you look after them so they cant be THAT bad (if you can handle them drooling and licking your face constantly!) 😉 Keep up the great work guys!!! 🙂

  14. OOPs….totally went off subject matter there…such passionate requests tend to do that to this blond brain.
    Forgot to add…I agree!
    For every cloud…their is a silver lining…you have so brought that to a reality in your interpretations 🙂

  15. Great post. The older I get, the more the film of romance is lifted from my eyes.
    Over the years I’ve called my husband a “baby bird,” when he is hungry, or a “Big Bear,” when he is just himself walking around, or, when he’s in the ocean, a whale, when he gives the kids (and me) “whale rides.”
    How about me? I wonder…..I sure hope not a whale, ha ha. Maybe a monkey? A flying squirrel?
    Love your blog.

  16. Stallion/Thoroughbred – needs lots of room to run, but always comes home for a feed and well you know.
    Worm – always turning this way or that, and every now and then digs up something valuable.
    Cock – always crowing about yourselves with little interest in what the females says, but will fight to the end if another one enters your hen house.
    As for Kitty Cat – show me a straight man that doesn’t love (lol I won’t do it).

  17. Love your descriptions! We wouldn’t have thought of comparing ourselves to a worm, but we won’t argue with you. As for your last statement…..just a little FYI:
    We try not to state the obvious! 🙂

  18. Great post! Hilarious.

  19. As always, you “Guys” make me smile:)
    Take care

  20. These are great 🙂 I like the chicken one, hah.

  21. so true so true but i love it in my mind. then again i am a guy so whatevs thx for the post

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